"How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People" is a self-help and business book written by Les Giblin to help people succeed in human and professional relationships. This book is available in English both in print and online in an e-book version, however the key principles on which it is based are concepts you already know and can put into practice.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Understanding Human Nature
Step 1. Treat human interactions as if they were an exchange
People exchange things of value for other things of value, and those who become estranged from that exchange generally lose confidence or seek it in others.
Step 2. Accept the fact that it is not always possible to establish a deep interpersonal relationship
However, you can learn to relate to people of all kinds. You may be more successful in managing people than in deepening more meaningful relationships.
- While this is especially true in a business context, it may be important to avoid certain friendships in life as well.
- This process may also help you develop more meaningful relationships with family and friends you want to be closer to.
Step 3. Take more responsibility to become a better person and a leader
According to some experts, if you want to advance a level in business and the community, you will need to develop a lot of self-confidence before you can become a leader for others.
Part 2 of 3: Gaining Confidence
Step 1. There are things that all people unconsciously crave
According to Giblin, it's all about admiration, acceptance, approval and appreciation.
Step 2. Start showing respect for people
Dealing with people means respecting them in every interaction. If you don't think others are important, no one will respect you accordingly.
Step 3. Let yourself be admired
Pay attention and listen to people. Pay attention to what's important and exceptional about people and point it out at the most appropriate times.
Avoid sarcasm. Sarcastic attitudes demean people rather than giving them the admiration they crave. Thanks to positive reinforcements, better results are always obtained than negative ones
Step 4. Identify your most admirable characteristics
Write down your strengths and reflect on your worth. Dedicate yourself to activities that allow you to improve and enhance what is precious in you.
Step 5. Accept who you are, with all the strengths and weaknesses
You should accept the things you cannot change, finding more time to devote to whatever you can improve.
Step 6. Give approval and get it in return
Instead of being self-deprecating, thank people and accept their compliments.
Step 7. Be grateful to yourself and others
In other words, thank you for what you have. Avoid being ungrateful for everything others offer you.
Part 3 of 3: Understanding and Exercising Influence
Step 1. Meet your needs
This is the central part in developing relationships with people. First, satisfy your hunger for acceptance, approval, and appreciation, then satisfy the same hunger in others.
In other words, you have to accept your need to feel important and appreciated. So you can become aware that other people are also looking for the same thing
Step 2. Treat each conversation as an exchange
Ideally you should spend half your time listening and the other half talking, in order to understand the needs of others. People will most likely get into the same habit.
Step 3. Keep the interactions positive
People will follow your example, imitating your attitude. You need to understand that your behaviors affect others.
Step 4. Start a conversation by asking your interlocutor to talk about himself
For sure, he will appreciate the respect, admiration and appreciation of your gesture. You nod, acknowledge the importance of the topic and smile.
Body language is extremely important. Don't cross your arms over your chest and don't frown while someone is talking
Step 5. Wait for the interlocutor to ask you something about yourself
Don't voluntarily provide personal information, but be prepared to talk about yourself when asked.
Step 6. Speak passionately about something when it is required
Once again, enthusiasm beats sarcasm.
Step 7. Ask others for advice and opinions
This is also a way of expressing admiration and approval. Asking for advice at the right times is a great way to deal with people who may be objective or argumentative.
Step 8. Approach the disagreement calmly
Remember to remain calm, to allow your opponent to speak without interruption, and to express your reasons with confidence. This attitude will create an environment of mutual respect that will help you relate to the most demanding people.
Step 9. End the conversation with a note of commendation
It's a great way to be compliant with people, to satisfy their need for approval, and to influence them.
