Finding a boyfriend is one thing, but holding on to him is another. They are both fundamental steps. But what are some secrets of women who find men willing to commit? This isn't an exhaustive guide, but it could be a start to help you develop deeper relationships.
Steps
Step 1. Beloved Ones
Think about it, would you get married? If you are not happy with who you are, then don't expect others to be. Examine your conscience and change what you don't like. Good self-esteem is the key.
Step 2. Communicate
From the beginning of the relationship and even during the marriage, the key to keeping the story going is communication. Tell him how you feel, both for good and for bad.
Step 3. Be natural
After all the glamorous ads running around, fake boobs, dyed hair and everything in between, a man really appreciates something genuine. Be natural and don't pose. You have to let him know the real you, because that is the one he will live with when you are married.
Step 4. Be sexy
Sexuality isn't the only thing in a relationship, but it's important. Show him that you are interested in him. Try not to be too puritanical or to be too on your own. Let this aspect of the relationship be free, fun, and eventful. Men who want to get married are not looking for a roommate.
Step 5. Understand your role
An important part of the relationship is that both partners know they have a crucial and indispensable role. Make sure you and him have the same view of the relationship. If you are looking for someone to have children with and he wants a superficial relationship, it will never work.
Step 6. Be emotionally stable
Life with you shouldn't be like a roller coaster ride. Men usually love stable women and vice versa. Sometimes this is difficult in our busy lives, but it's not impossible. If you are told that you are a melodramatic person on more than one occasion, seek help and guidance to relax and calm down.
Step 7. Men are often slow to commit because they take great care to get to know the woman before bonding with her
You date before being a couple, and stay together for a while before getting engaged. This is often difficult for women, but a lesson can be learned. They make sure (as women should too) that they are compatible on all levels. This process must happen at its speed. Pressuring a man to make a decision before he hears it will certainly make him insecure. Don't talk about marriage until he or she does or at least a year has passed.
Step 8. Dating should be fun
If the date goes well, and your interactions are positive, he'll want you to be his girlfriend. If he accumulates experience with you and sees you as a person to stay with forever, he will become more serious about his future and work, starting to consider buying a house and talking about the future more and more. Only once a decision has been made about you and if he feels prepared and mature enough, will he make the proposal.
Step 9. Show security
Be confident, and ready to face any eventuality. Men love confident women. How can a man not feel privileged when he gets the respect of a woman who holds himself in high regard?
Step 10. Show affection with class
A special look, a caress on the back, a kiss on the fly are perfect, but nothing "sticky" or inappropriate.
Step 11. Appreciate a man's strengths
And tell him, even if he's already proud of it. Then, support him when he's full, and avoid grumbling or scolding him when he's down.
Step 12. Be fun
This sounds obvious, but it is a critical factor in any relationship. Use a sense of humor. Don't be too rigid or negative.
Step 13. Be a burst of joy
Women who are happy to be in the world, and enjoy every minute, could be irresistibly attractive to men.
Step 14. It shines
If the warmth of your heart is reflected on your face, and your feelings for him can be seen in a sparkle in your eyes, he will melt. This is what cancels all doubts, it is the famous "silver bullet".
Step 15. Learn humility
A humble person is not someone who underestimates himself; he is a person who controls his ego and shows a genuine interest in others.
Step 16. Appointments
It may not be obvious, but you really need to date a man and build a relationship before he asks you to marry him. The term "date" in modern culture is vague, and sometimes it means something more than it actually is. Just chat with a man and learn something about their respective lives.
Step 17. Don't assume
Some men wait a little longer than you would like before making the proposal. If he's really worth being married, you should wait (knowingly). But if he isn't interested (or worse, makes excuses) even after a long time, you should reconsider the direction of your story.
Step 18. Remember that romance is a two way street
If you want to be respected and treated as an equal, do the same for him. Be romantic. Make him want to stay with you. Don't be stingy. Men also like romance; pretending it's not true will push him away..
Step 19. Remember that some men are perfectly capable of dating women they are interested in, but who they don't see as someone "to marry"
If after six months or a year, you still haven't heard him make plans for marriage and family (with or without you), you might ask him, "What qualities do you look for in a person to commit to?" If he responds with qualities he has recognized in you, that's a good sign. If her compliments are mostly sex-related, she probably isn't.
Step 20. If you feel the need to have a serious talk, reconsider the approach
Instead of using a serious tone (which will trigger his innate commitment phobia), try to be funny and positive. “I enjoy spending time with you, I am happy when you are here. But I just wanted to see if it's the same for you too. Even though it's way too early for us, I want to get married in the future and I want to make sure I'm dating someone who has the same values as me. Now that we're getting to know each other better, are you starting to see me as someone that could happen with?"
Step 21. Send unconditional love
A stable relationship should be based on more than convenience. Overcoming difficult times by staying together requires a great deal of commitment and mutual appreciation. It's a choice we make, not necessarily something we experience.
Advice
- Consider that you will have to go through different stages of the relationship. When you start dating realize that you are not looking for your soul mate, but someone to be comfortable with and be comfortable with.
- Being comfortable with a man, and having affinities is not negotiable. No man will decide to spend his life with a sour woman, and he shouldn't.
- If you openly disrespect a man by shamelessly flirting with another in his presence, don't expect a ring.
- If he doesn't want to get married after several months, he probably never wants to. You don't want to be anyone's fallback; your partner should see you as their first choice, otherwise something is wrong.
- You need to know what to look for in a man. Pay attention to what attracts you about others to find the right one. Be honest when you talk about these preferences, but do it kindly and gracefully.
- Ironically, women who go out of their way to get married usually get the opposite.
- It is essential to remain yourself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Whatever attracted it to you, don't lose it. Men have been shown to like women who appear beautiful, cute and / or sexy to their eyes. If you don't take this into consideration, don't expect your man to see you as the most beautiful woman in the world.
- Imagine that you are a woman that a man cannot forget. Highlight your positive and unique qualities, talents or interests.
- As author Sarah Ban Breatnach says: "If you expect the best, you will probably get it." Expect good things to happen. Create the manifesto of a "mission", and be specific, defining what YOU want in a man. Revisit and revise this manifesto from time to time. Prepare yourself psychologically to meet and marry the man of your dreams.
- Show some confidence - women who have high self-esteem and are comfortable with themselves are irresistible to men. Smile, show your love both for him and for yourself to make him understand how much this story makes you happy!
- Always always, always try new things on new fronts. Whether it's a new food, a new sport, or a new travel destination, this will keep life exciting and you will be interested in your own life. Both men and women get depressed when they know exactly what to expect for the rest of their lives.
- Be positive, be brave, and enjoy life! If you think you need him for a fuller life, then you should focus on yourself for a while and learn to be complete without him. A man will not fill any holes.
- Be honest and trustworthy from day one.
- "Win the man, not the argument": in every relationship, there will be arguments. The key to solving problems is not simply to talk about them, but also to discuss them constructively. Don't throw up unresolved issues; they are in the past and they must stay there. Don't discuss something with your partner unless you are emotionally at peace with the problem. If thinking about it makes you angry or sad, don't talk to him for now. If you do, there is a chance that your emotions will get the better of you, you won't think or communicate clearly and this can lead to arguing. Discuss objectively and with an open mind. If you want him to understand you, you must want to understand him too.
- You should trust your partner to the point of knowing that he would never cheat on you. Real men don't betray; they leave you or ask for a divorce with dignity and respect towards you, so as not to offend you.
- Do some healthy introspection about sexual exclusivity, many people have healthy and stable relationships that include sexual primacy but not exclusivity; don't allow society to dictate what should make you and your partner happy. Many men fear the prospect of an exclusive sex life.
Warnings
- Women who are usually left by men have these characteristics:
- Marrying a man who isn't the kind of person you want in hopes of being able to change him. If the person you think you want to marry doesn't qualify, trying to change him after marriage will make both of you miserable.
- Forget that your husband is supposed to be your life partner, not just your lover. Most lasting relationships start with two people who have commonalities and become friends, the type you can talk to and trust.
- Reject the compromise. Neither will get everything they want from the other, or from life. Couples who stay married for a long time are always of the opinion that the secret of a good marriage is compromise, and that they are willing to give at least what you hope to receive from that relationship.
- Complain. It's not nice to be negative. After a while it's like listening to a broken record over and over. Trust me. Conversely, don't bond with a man who expects you to be all pink and flowers all the time, or YOU will be unhappy. Be authentic, be real. Authenticity is very, very attractive.
- Thinking that for men, sex is everything. Indulging yourself early and often won't necessarily make a man bond to you. Tip: The length of the relationship has nothing to do with how soon you have sex.
- Be focused on the physical aspect. Being nice is not enough to keep a man with you for life. If you have a man who only commits to you based on your looks, you will have an unhappy life.
- Do not risk. Don't worry about anything and have the courage to fight for what you want. Be brave.
- Living in the past. Yes, your ex has nothing to do with your new boyfriend. You must be happy to be a woman and be attracted to what makes a man male.
- Jealousy. Unfortunately, jealous people may also cheat.
- Criticisms. Studies say that when people criticize, the listener tends to connect the criticized traits to the speaker. Are you a walking self-fulfilling prophecy?
- Vanity. No man wants a wife who believes she is better than anyone else. Healthy self-esteem is fine. Vanity is not.
- Don't try to control everything. If you try to control him, you are not showing him the respect he needs to be comfortable with himself.
- Don't humiliate him or question his manhood. This will definitely make him run away.
- Control yourself, and be careful what you say even if you are angry, frustrated etc. You can't take back your words.
- Before you take the path of getting married to a man, think about whether you would like to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you.
