You have decided that it is the right one for you, and you continue to give him clues, but he never gets there. You can try to get him on the right track, but if that's not your style, why wait for him to ask? There is no reason why it cannot be the woman who asks a man to marry her. And the same advice applies to a man who asks another man.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Preparation
Step 1. Are you ready for the big step?
Think carefully. Marriage is an important milestone, and you want to be sure you're doing it for the right reasons, because you've found someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with, not because all your friends are getting married and you think you have to too.
- If you are trying to get married to 'save' the relationship or because you are afraid of being alone, these are not good reasons. In fact, it might be better to go single again.
- However, if you know for sure you want to marry this man, then it's time to do it and commit yourself to make it happen.
Step 2. Talk about marriage and engagement with your loved one
The question Not it should be done suddenly the first time you talk about it. You don't have to talk about the two of you (although it would be better) but it is important to find out his opinions on such an important topic, especially if you intend to ask him to marry you.
- Watch how he talks about the future and what he says. If he uses the formula "we" (referring to you 2) for future commitments, if you live together, have a pet, have moved in, it's pretty serious.
- It doesn't mean he's ready for marriage, or even wants to, so that's something you should discuss.
- You can even find a way to talk about relationships in general, or raise your concerns by talking about a distant future. For example: “Marta has just asked Guido to marry her in front of the whole family. Don't you think something more intimate is better?”.
Step 3. Think of something suitable for him
When you prepare to ask a man to marry you, you want to create an atmosphere suited to his interests. The fact that you want a striking gesture in an elegant restaurant in front of everyone does not mean that he wants it too. You know him better than anyone, so make the best of what you know.
- For example, if he is a lover of fishing, organize an excursion with him and put a note in the bait box that says "Do you want to marry me?".
- Another example: if they love a certain band, ask them at a concert in your area (or follow the band to a distant concert as well).
- It doesn't mean that you should completely ignore your interests and desires. The proposal should be something important and memorable for both of us. You just have to find some sort of middle ground. For example, you could book a candlelit dinner at your favorite restaurant after the day of fishing.
Step 4. Plan the proposal
Spontaneity is a great thing, but for something like this it is better to plan as much as possible to overcome the nervousness (because you will be nervous, of course!). Especially if you are nervous, it is best to have everything well planned.
- You will have to choose a particular place for the proposal, perhaps in a place that is meaningful to both of you. It could be the place of your first date, or your first kiss. A significant place for both has a double function: in the meantime it is already special for both, and then creates an ideal atmosphere for the proposal!
- Timing is key. It's best to pick a time when he's relaxed and ready to make or think about big changes. It is better to avoid moments of great stress at work or school, or distractions (perhaps during a game in which he is not considering you and would not even notice the proposal).
- You will want to make sure that the atmosphere is right for what you would like to do. It could be something as simple as a couple of candles, or some excellent champagne, or you could have a delicious dinner ready. You will have to think about what is important to you 2.
- If you involve other people in the proposal (children, family, friends, animals), you must make sure that everyone knows what to do and when, and above all that they keep the secret and do not spoil the surprise.
Part 2 of 3: Ask for his hand
Step 1. Use his hobbies
Again, when you think about how to ask him, think about his hobbies and interests and use them to make the proposal special. Not only does it show how important he is to you (after all, you are asking him to marry you), but also that you care about him and support him.
For example: if you were interested in archeology, you could participate in an excavation and make the proposal there (with the help of other volunteers and archaeologists). Or you could even organize a treasure hunt proposal, and let him discover the proposal in the yard
Step 2. Do it privately
It seems that in romantic comedies there is always a scene where one person proposes to another in front of a bunch of people, but, especially for a man, this part is best done in private (unless he has specified their interest in the sensational gesture).
This mode gives him the possibility to think about the proposal without the weight of a bunch of people waiting for the answer. When she says yes, feel free to shout it out to the world
Step 3. Do something simple
Even if you were thinking of an elaborate proposal (a parachute madness, or a treasure hunt), try to keep the actual proposal simple and concise. All you have to do is tell him why you want to spend the rest of your life with him and propose it to him. You'll be nervous (come on, who wouldn't be?) So simplicity makes it easier to remember what to say.
Have a few prep phrases ready. You could say something like "We have so many wonderful memories … from now on, I want you to be in ALL of my memories" and make the proposal. Or, before the special day: “I have planned this wonderful day for us, but I can't wait… I want us to spend it together as more than just a couple”, and then you ask them
Step 4. Give him a symbolic gift
You'll want to give him something symbolic, like an engagement ring, but it doesn't have to be a ring, especially if he doesn't like wearing jewelry. You know him better than anyone, so you will have to choose the right gift, but you have a lot of choice.
- You could gift them a wrist or pocket watch, as they are sometimes considered the male version of jewelry. You could even have your names engraved on the back to make it even more unique.
- You could build something for him, like a chest to keep all your favorite memories, or a ceramic slab in which you ask him to marry you.
- If he wears necklaces, you could get him an engagement necklace, perhaps even with a ring-pendant.
- Engraved lighters are also often used as engagement gifts for men (or women) and can be very cool and attractive.
Step 5. Manage the reaction
Since you cannot control the outcome, asking someone to marry you can be very stressful and make you feel vulnerable. This is no reason not to, but you need to be prepared for any eventuality.
- If he says yes, cheers! Time to celebrate. You can choose the date, or think about it later (you don't have to get married immediately, just because you are engaged).
- If he has to think about it, it doesn't mean he'll say no. The proposal may simply have caught him off guard and he may really have to think about his own answer. Let him do it. If he doesn't respond, talk about the proposal and his doubts about it.
- If he says no… You will be shocked and have every reason to ask him why, and if he intends to change his mind in the future. It may simply not be the right time (school, moving, family problems) and may not be able to think long term, or may not want to get married at all. Regardless of the reason, you will have to make choices about your future as well. You may not be compatible and may not have the same ambitions.
Part 3 of 3: A touch of creativity
Step 1. Prepare a treasure hunt
It could be a treasure hunt in all the places important to you 2, or modeled around his hobbies. You can't go wrong on a treasure hunt (unless it's too complex and you can't complete it). He will have a lot of fun and will be in the ideal mood for the last clue (the proposal).
Step 2. Make a culinary proposal
Many like proposals that have to do with food (as long as they don't end up eating the proposal by mistake!). There are many ways to use food for a fun marriage proposal.
- You can make personalized chocolate eggs. You could insert the words "Do you want to marry me?" in the surprise and get along with the pastry.
- Hide a card and a symbolic engagement gift (not necessarily a ring) in a box of chocolates or other sweets and give it to him. Again, make sure you don't eat the note by mistake.
Step 3. Make the proposal with a pumpkin
On Halloween, challenge him to a pumpkin carving contest. While he is distracted, engrave the words 'Will you marry me?' On your pumpkin and hand it to him when you are both finished. You will probably win the race.
Step 4. Enter the proposal in an extreme sport
Obviously it's not for everyone, but if you and your loved one are very passionate about extreme sports, it would be a great way to propose to him. You will probably need the help of your friends or instructors, so make sure they know how to keep a secret!
- Go parachute with him and ask your friends to put up a sign under you, asking him to marry you.
- Go for a dive and have him find a waterproof sign on the seabed while you are underwater together.
Advice
Do something authentic and with the heart. It doesn't have to be some Shakespearean epic sonnet. You just have to make him understand why you intend to spend the rest of your life with him
Warnings
- Be ready to be teased a little bit about the situation. Society is not yet evolved enough not to see something unusual and bizarre in this thing. It doesn't mean you have to listen to the jokes, or not make the proposal.
- Sometimes things don't go according to plan. In case of unforeseen events, you can improvise or try again later.
- If he says no or that he has to think about it, don't worry! You were brave to ask him to marry you and you should be proud of your gesture.
