When you realize you have a crush on a girl, it's hard to decide what to do. You want to let her know that you care, but saying it openly may be too big a step. Here's the perfect solution: well-placed clues! By showing your attraction with body language, with friendly teasing and attention on social media, you will let her know that you see her as more than a friend.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Giving Clues in a Conversation
Step 1. Plan something informal with her
Don't panic, you don't have to ask her out with you! Invite her to a very casual event with a large group of people. Letting her know that you want to spend more time with her is a clear clue to your feelings, but having your friends around reduces the pressure of the meeting.
- Start with fun and dynamic activities, such as bowling or laser tag, where you get a chance to talk, but without the pressure of a date alone.
- You give the impression of inviting her with a spontaneous gesture. You can say, "I just remembered that this weekend I'm going to the beach with all my friends. You should come too. The idea didn't appeal to me that much, but it will probably be fun with you."
Step 2. Tease her gently and make light jokes
He jokes about the subjects he studies, his hometown, his favorite team or his favorite show. Avoid self-deprecation, which can make you seem insecure, and don't limit yourself to jabs. Insert a couple of lines into the conversation, but listen carefully at other times.
- For example, if she works in the school newspaper, smile and say, "I bet you wrote about a lot of front page news at our school."
- You can be lightly sarcastic by saying, "You look at CSI? So you're basically a detective?"
- Express your disagreement in a playful way with a phrase like, "Is your favorite movie Ghostbusters? I don't know if we can still be friends."
- Avoid making fun of her about her looks, her intelligence, or her family.
Step 3. Make a commitment to treat her differently from everyone else
When you are in a group of friends together, do what you can to find her and talk to her. This way she will understand that you give special meaning to your conversations and that you think she is more important than other girls or even your friends.
- If you usually joke with all the girls you talk to, try to be more honest with her;
- Don't pay too much attention to other girls. You may think this attitude will make her jealous and make her even more interested in you, but it probably won't. At best, she'll assume you're a hardened seducer and don't particularly like her, while at worst, she'll be hurt by your change.
Step 4. Compliment her
Express appreciation for her looks, her intelligence, her job or her passions. She will be flattered, she will understand that you think about her and that you listen to her when she speaks.
- Try "You look beautiful tonight" or "It's great that you volunteer at an animal shelter."
- You could also compliment her on her taste in music, food, film, or other fields. You can say "The group you recommended is spectacular" or "Great choice, the steak is the best dish on the menu".
Step 5. Say hello before you leave
If you are attending an event together, look for her before you leave, especially if you have drifted apart during the evening. She will remember that you only came back to her to say hello and will understand that you consider her special if you put in so much effort.
- You can say, "I have to go, but it was good to see you. We absolutely have to do it again." If she smiles and agrees with you, try hugging her quickly. If you don't feel ready for such a gesture, smile and say "Okay, see you later".
- If you haven't asked for her phone number yet, now is the perfect time. If she wants to see you again, tell her: "But wait, I don't have your number. Can you give it to me on the fly?".
Part 2 of 4: Show Interest on Social
Step 1. Write them for no reason
You must necessarily communicate with her when you organize something together, but you can also send her sweet and spontaneous phrases that remind you of her. This lets her know that you think she is even when you are not together, a clear indication that you consider her more than a friend.
- Try teasing her as lightly as you do in person to encourage her to respond.
- For example, you can say, "Today we were talking about symbolism in Dante's Inferno and I thought, if only Laura were here, she is the greatest Divine Comedy obsession I know."
- Try writing to her as often as she looks for you so she doesn't seem desperate.
Step 2. Post a picture of the two of you together
Make sure you both look good and add a light-toned caption. Posting a picture with her is already a big clue, so with a not too serious sentence you will show that you are not desperate.
- For example, take a picture with her at the stadium writing "I finally found a person more fan than me".
- If the idea of taking a photo together makes you nervous, turn it into a joke. Try: "My mom always asks me if I talk to anyone other than my brother at parties. Do you want to be my test?".
Step 3. Like 3-5 of her recent photos
You can also go back, but be careful not to recover images taken more than six months ago. Likes are a simple and discreet way to show her that you look at her page often and that you are attracted to her.
Step 4. Write a provocative comment
A witty phrase is an even more direct way to show a girl that you are interested in her. Comment on just one or two of the most recent images and write short, spontaneous and charismatic messages.
You can say, "I really don't know why you didn't invite me to watch the game? Haven't you heard of my talents as a lucky charm?"
Step 5. Send her cheerful and funny pictures on Snapchat
Choose selfies with funny filters, adorable animal photos or hilarious videos. Make a commitment to become her best friend on Snapchat and start a streak (a series of snaps over consecutive days), which will give you an excuse to send her something every day. Watch her stories and text her every couple of days, commenting on what she does.
- She gets notified when you take a screenshot of her photos or watch them again, so do it strategically and joke about it! For example, if she sends you a funny selfie, you can save it and write her "Now I can blackmail you;)".
- Snapchat communications quickly disappear if you don't save them, so use traditional messages to flirt with her.
- Don't post inappropriate images on Snapchat. They would only serve to scare and disgust her.
Step 6. Write her a direct message to talk to her privately but informally
Use messages to flirt about something he posted. Avoid writing trivial sentences that could find space in the comments. Ask her a question she needs to answer, or refer to a joke that only the two of you can understand.
- For example, if you post a photo of a vacation in a tropical country, you can say, "I'm deciding whether to go there too next year, give me three reasons to do it. Ready? Go!".
- Sending a direct message is one of the clearest clues you can send on social media, so think carefully about what to say and be confident!
Step 7. Avoid bombarding her with comments, photos or messages
If you leave a comment on a photo of him, wait for him to reply or like it before doing it again. Likewise, if you send her an image on Snapchat or a direct message, wait for her response before writing her again. With too many unanswered messages you will look desperate at best and creepy at worst.
- If she doesn't respond to what you wrote, make fun of her next time you see her. You can say, "Wow, thanks for snubbing me on Instagram last night!".
- If he laughs and says he didn't see your message or didn't have time to respond, you have the green light. If her response is less friendly, take a step back and let her make the next move.
Part 3 of 4: Flirting with Body Language
Step 1. Look her in the eye
It is very important to do this when you talk to her, but try to catch her eye even when you are not talking. In this way she will understand that your attention is all for her, she will feel admired and curious.
- If you attend an event together and see it, watch it a couple of times; not so much that it seems strange, but enough to catch his eye on at least one occasion.
- If she looks at you too, raise her eyebrows and smile. Even if you don't catch her eye, she'll likely notice you out of the corner of her eye.
- If she later asks why you were staring at her, reply with a half-line, like "Eh, you see I just can't take my eyes off you."
Step 2. Lean forward when talking to her
Use any pretext to get closer! If you find yourself in a crowded or noisy place, such as at a party, restaurant or stadium, you already have an excuse ready to talk to her closely. This will let her know that you want to hear what she says and that you are looking for physical contact.
Try not to overwhelm it and not to approach too quickly. If she pulls away, tell her "I'm sorry, but I don't hear anything with all the noise." Approach your ear first so that it is obvious that you want to hear it better. He may respond that he agrees with you and suggest that you go to a less crowded place to continue the conversation
Step 3. Show her respect by meeting her needs
Make "knight" gestures, such as hold the door open, carry a heavy object, or speak politely to her. When she wants to go, take her out. That way she'll know you care about her.
Don't push too hard if she doesn't need your help
Step 4. Find discreet ways to touch it
Touch her hand when you laugh or sit so that your legs are in contact. Hug her to greet her and leave your arm on her or shoulder. With these attitudes you show her that you want physical contact and that you consider her more than just a friend.
If she withdraws at first, don't overdo it; she is probably shy. Keep talking and make her comfortable, then try a more natural approach. For example, if you surprised her when you hugged her as soon as she arrived, try only touching her shoulder when you say hello
Step 5. Take care of your appearance when you see it
Fix your hair, straighten your tie, or put your shirt in your pants. Show her that you care about your appearance in front of her, and you will subtly and flatteringly let her know that you are interested.
Part 4 of 4: Make her little gifts
Step 1. Order your favorite dish or drink without asking
This is a great way to show your interest when attending an event together, at a restaurant or bar with friends. She'll be surprised and happy that she remembers her favorite dish, plus if she has to eat or drink, she'll have an excuse to stop and talk to you.
You can say: "It occurred to me that you love stuffed olives; do you make me understand why they are so special?"
Step 2. Give her a fun and sweet gift
This is especially important if her birthday or another gift-giving holiday is approaching. She will be happy that you remembered the anniversary and that you thought about giving her a gift. This is a clear indication that you don't consider her just a friend.
- Use jokes you make between yourself or a funny memory you share as inspiration.
- For example, if you are in class together and you always complain about the difficulty of homework, you can give her a fun book with the best wrong answers. If you love sandwiches, get her a specific cookbook or coupon for her favorite fast food.
Step 3. Leave her a treat that she can find
Surprise her with a chocolate or candy and you will brighten her day in an unexpected way. Write her a funny note, like "Don't get all flab and pimples!"
For example, if you know she has a difficult question, walk into class before class starts and leave her a chocolate under the counter. When you see her, ask her "How did the question go? I heard that chocolate helps concentration…"
Step 4. Surprise her with a ticket to an event she likes
If you know that he appreciates a certain genre of music or that there is a festival he can't wait to go to, buy two tickets and give him one. This is a great way to let her know that you know what she likes and that you want to spend more time with her.
