Few things are more frustrating than a boyfriend ignoring you. When he doesn't respond to your messages or shows aloof when you are together, the lack of communication can hurt your feelings and cause problems in your relationship. Fortunately, there are many ways to find out why your boyfriend is ignoring you and to remedy this situation.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Communication and Relationship Advice
Step 1. Try not to clog his phone when he ignores you
If he doesn't respond to messages or calls, you may be tempted to shower him with text messages or leave him some voicemail recordings. However, that way you could push him to move further away and make him feel suffocated. If your boyfriend doesn't answer you, try to give him some space until he's looking for you.
He may be ignoring you due to a problem in his personal life, and seeing all of your messages can make him feel even more overwhelmed
Step 2. Tell him how you feel when he ignores you
He may not realize that he is neglecting you (or how much that bothers you). Sit down with him and tell him that when he takes a long time to reply to your messages or when he avoids talking to you if you are together, you feel sad and anxious.
You can say something like, "When you don't let yourself be heard, I start to worry and I think that you are angry with me or that something is wrong. It's hard to deal with that feeling, which makes me sad all day."
Step 3. Ask him to make time for you instead of ignoring you to take care of other things
It is not easy to find the right balance between school, work, other responsibilities and a romantic relationship. If your boyfriend ignores you to devote his time to other aspects of his life, ask him to think more about you over the course of the week. You could make a weekly evening appointment, a bedtime phone call, or a day when you are alone.
- Remember that he may need time for his hobbies as well. Playing video games or hanging out with friends may seem like silly activities, but they're still important!
- If you've noticed that he's been busier recently (starting college or changing jobs), maybe that's why he's ignoring you.
Step 4. Plan a fun date just for the two of you
Maybe you just need to renew your bond! Book a table at a restaurant, buy him some flowers and take him for a walk on the beach at sunset. Spend some time together away from other people, so you can talk and rekindle the flame.
- If you don't feel like going out, bring him breakfast in bed or watch your favorite movie with him. Romance doesn't have to cost a fortune!
- Try turning off the phones until the appointment is over so you can really focus on each other.
Step 5. Encourage him to talk to you about what is troubling him
In some cases, people in a relationship choose silence instead of bringing their problems to light. If your boyfriend can't talk about his feelings, try asking him if he wants to discuss something with you (about your relationship or in general). Listen to him with respect and make yourself available to talk about his emotions.
- You can say something like, "I've noticed you've been a bit distant lately. Is there anything you need to tell me about?"
- Remember that sometimes people start drifting apart when they want to end a relationship. You can't be sure that's the case for you, but it's still a possibility.
Step 6. Reconsider your relationship if the situation does not improve
It's no fun being with a guy who always ignores you. If you've talked to him honestly and openly, but he's still avoiding yourself, maybe it's time to end the relationship.
It is difficult to end a relationship and this is not a step you should take lightly. However, a person who is constantly ignoring you cannot be your ideal partner
Method 2 of 2: After a Quarrel
Step 1. Give him time to let off some steam
If you've just had an argument or been through a very emotional moment, your boyfriend may decide to ignore you to regain control of his emotions. Give him some space and tell him that when he is ready to speak, you will listen to him.
Some people need to be alone to process their feelings, and your boyfriend could be one of them
Step 2. Ask him how he feels
To start the conversation, ask him what's wrong and listen to his answer. Really try to understand why he is ignoring you and what problem led to the interruption of communications.
- Try saying something like, "I realized you were angry when you stopped replying to my messages. Are you okay?"
- Make sure you listen carefully and without interrupting so that you fully understand the situation.
- If you stop talking to your boyfriend, you will only make the situation worse. It is important to open a line of communication, so that you can solve the problem through dialogue.
Step 3. Talk about your feelings
You can detail your point of view on how you got into the fight, or you can tell him that when he ignores you it hurts your feelings. Ask him to listen to you, just like you just did for him.
Try something like, "I know you were angry, but when you didn't answer me, I got worried. I felt sad and anxious when you ignored my calls and messages."
Step 4. Apologize if you think you were wrong
In many cases, people stop talking to you when they feel anger at you or feel hurt by a lack of respect. If you feel like you need to apologize for some reason, sincerely ask your boyfriend for forgiveness (but only if the feeling is genuine).
You can say something like, "I'm sorry I made fun of you in class today, it won't be repeated."
Step 5. Solve your problems
Being ignored is never pleasant and can lead to breakdown of communications. Try suggesting some ways you can talk about your problems, instead of resorting to silence, so that you have a plan of action for the future. You can try:
- Give yourself 10 minutes to blanch, in separate rooms;
- Write your feelings on a piece of paper before reading them aloud to the other person;
- Schedule a weekly discussion where you address all the issues in your relationship.
