You may be wondering if your boyfriend is really loyal to you. He may be treating you differently than usual, spending less time with you, or not putting in enough effort to keep your relationship going. However, it's best to examine his behavior, ask him questions, and find hard evidence before he accuses him of cheating on you.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Examine his Behavior
Step 1. Try to find out if your boyfriend is overprotective of his phone
If he's really cheating on you, checking his phone or computer will become an obsession for him. Does it tend to get upset if you try to use one of these items? His phone is probably the medium he uses to communicate with the other person he is seeing and he wants you to stay as far away from his things as possible.
- If you ask him "Who is calling you / sent you a message?" might answer "none" or "don't worry";
- Does he often delete his Facebook conversations or messages before letting you use his phone?
- Does he run to answer before you can see who's calling?
Step 2. Pay attention to his habits
If your boyfriend is cheating on you, he will have to find some space to meet the other person and change his routine. You probably know his habits; use them as a reference. If he starts going out with his friends more often, or if he studies or works late into the night, he may be cheating on you.
Your boyfriend will start putting all of these activities first rather than spending his time with you. You will no longer be his priority
Step 3. Notice if it becomes more private
Does he close the door while you are around, or does he answer phone calls in another room? If your partner is in a relationship with another person, they will tend to detach themselves from you.
- Notice if excessive reserve shows up in any aspect of her life. Have you recently started dating people you don't know?
- If you ask him where he is going or how his day went, does he answer you in monosyllables without giving you any details?
Step 4. Notice if there are any changes in the way she shows you affection
If your boyfriend cheats on you, he may become less affectionate. Is he reluctant to hold your hand, cuddle, kiss you, or want to make love? Have you lost interest in the physical aspect of your relationship?
Keep in mind that your boyfriend's lack of affection could be related to stress or health problems. Consider the other signs before deciding that his lack of physicality is related to a possible betrayal
Step 5. Notice if there are any unusual behaviors
Your boyfriend may act differently due to the moral weight of his betrayal. These changes can be positive or negative. The most common ones include:
- Buying gifts for no apparent reason;
- Overexerting yourself to be caring and loving
- Frequent arguments with you
- Sudden mood swings
- Smell different than usual (such as someone else's perfume or cologne)
- Try harder to look good (for example, buy new clothes, get a new haircut, or go to the gym)
- Lying about both unimportant and very serious matters;
- Saying phrases that you usually wouldn't say;
- Remember that betrayal isn't the only possible explanation for bizarre behavior.
Part 2 of 3: Evaluating Your Relationship
Step 1. Estimate the time you spend together
Does your boyfriend spend his free time with you or is he always too busy? Do you feel like you and him live two separate lives? Are you unaware of what happens to him during the day and he is unaware of what happens to you?
- Even if you are often busy, he should be able to find a way to see you.
- Also note the changes in the amount of time you spend together. If you used to see each other four times a week and suddenly see each other a lot less for no apparent reason, it could be a sign that something is wrong.
- Talk to your boyfriend about these changes before assuming possible cheating.
Step 2. Examine the quality of your interactions
Not only should you evaluate the time you spend with him, the quality of the interactions is also important. Can you have fun together or do you just fight? Do you feel distant from him or do you still perceive a connection?
If your interactions with him have gone from being pleasant and funny to constant arguing, it is possible that he is spending time with someone else or taking the stress out of other types of problems on you
Step 3. Assess their interest in you
Even if you spend a lot of time together, they may seem uninterested in you or your relationship. Do you get the impression that he doesn't care about you? Does he behave carelessly while dealing with you?
- For example, are you always the first to call or text him?
- When planning your appointments, are you the only one who decides what to do or where to go? Do you receive any suggestions from him on what you could do together?
- Are you often silent or distracted when you spend time together?
Step 4. Listen to your instincts
If you think something is wrong between you and your boyfriend but can't quite frame what it is, don't ignore this feeling.
Very often, following your gut is the first sign that maybe you should be looking for other red flags
Step 5. Communicate with your partner
If you are suspicious, you will begin to take every gesture for granted as a sign of betrayal. It's best not to jump to conclusions. If you accuse him of cheating on you without it actually being true, you could hurt him. Talk to him about what you noticed and listen to his explanations.
- You might say, "Hey, I've noticed that you are always angry lately and you often seem to think about something. Are you okay?"
- You might say, "I've noticed that we don't see each other very often lately. Is something wrong?"
- "It seems to me that we have reached a dead end in our relationship. I would really like to make things better, what do you think?"
- If you notice that your boyfriend is lying, say something like "You don't seem sincere. This thing hurts me. What's really going on?"
Part 3 of 3: Seeking Evidence
Step 1. Review their social profiles
Scroll through your boyfriend's social media pages and check if he's been talking to people you don't know lately. Look at the images he puts in his "favorites" or the ones he "likes". Also look for other profiles of his that you may not know about; maybe he is using those to communicate with the other person.
- See if they spend more time on social networks than they usually do. The tendency to spend more time on social media has been linked to cheating.
- If you have his passwords, log into his account to check the latest messages. This is, however, a serious invasion of his privacy. If you get caught, she'll go on a rampage. Be extremely sure of your suspicions before taking action.
Step 2. Talk to his friends
If you think your partner is lying when he tells you where he is, check with his friends to see if they confirm his version. Keep in mind that his friends will likely take his side and may not tell you the truth. Be smart and ask the right questions.
- For example, if your boyfriend says he went out with a friend on Thursday, you might ask him, "Hey, did you have a good time on Thursday night?"
- You should also ask your boyfriend "Hey, did you and your friend have a good time on Thursday? What did you do?"
- His friends may behave differently when you are around. If they know what's going on, they may feel uncomfortable around you.
Step 3. Get your boyfriend to contradict himself
Ask him where he was and then a few days later ask him again. If he is lying, he may have difficulty remembering what he said in the beginning. Compare what he says each time to see if the stories fit together.
- If he's on the defensive or seems bothered by your asking questions, it's possible he's cheating on you. If he's telling the truth, your questions shouldn't bother him.
- If he uses social networks often, check his posts and activities in the time period you are investigating. Look for any possible contradiction.
Step 4. Check his phone
Wait until she is sleeping or in the bathroom. This may be difficult if you usually take your phone everywhere you go. If you don't know his password, try cuddling him and peek at his phone the moment he enters it. This may help you figure out what his password is.
- You can also try standing near him while he is using his phone and see if you can notice anything.
- Once you have access to the phone, quickly scroll through the call log and messages. Especially search for numbers not saved in the phonebook.
- If your boyfriend doesn't have any messages on his phone, he may have deleted all of them so as not to be discovered.
- Controlling another person's phone is a serious invasion of privacy. If you get caught, your boyfriend will get mad at you and won't trust you anymore. Use this method only as a last resort.
Advice
- Trust yourself.
- Do your best to stay calm.
- Talk to someone about how you feel. It is necessary to express certain emotions in order to take a burden off your chest - it will help you feel better.
