If you are a pregnant teenager, you will probably be concerned about how to tell your boyfriend. First, remember that you are in control of your life and no one can force you to do something you don't want to do. What happens with pregnancy is your choice, and nobody else's.
Steps
Step 1. Predict all possible reactions and how you will react to them
Don't plan an entire speech, including his reactions, but make sure that if he has any questions or if he starts to verbally attack you, you will always know what to tell him.
Step 2. Pick a good time to tell him
For example, it's not a good time when he's already stressed or angry. Make sure there are minimal distractions around him so that he can fully focus on what you are saying.
Step 3. Start positively
If you start the conversation with a negative tone, for example by saying "I have bad news", then he too will react negatively.
Step 4. Stay calm in the face of his anger
He might scream, scream, yell, but you shouldn't react with anger. You've had more time to think about it, and he needs the same consideration. Just because she says she doesn't want the baby now doesn't mean she can't change her mind once she calms down.
Step 5. To discuss your options, wait until both of you have calmed down
You will probably both be stressed out after your announcement, so you should calm down before deciding anything. Don't make rash decisions that you may regret later, especially regarding the baby.
Step 6. Tell him how you feel
If you would like to keep the baby then talk to him and ask him what he thinks about it. If you wish to give the child up for adoption, ask him what he thinks of this too. Or, if you don't want to have a baby, discuss abortion.
Advice
- Remember that you are the one who will have to carry the baby. If he doesn't want the baby, don't blame yourself because he accepted or even wanted to have sex with you.
- Listen to him too. Even if you carry the baby, let him express his views, but don't let him make the final decision. You are the mother, so you should have the last word, but take her thoughts and opinions into account when deciding.
- Don't blame. He didn't do all this alone, and neither did you. You are both responsible for it.
- Ultimately, you will be the most affected by the decision you make. He can say something and give his opinion, or say what he wants to do, but you are the one who will have to have the baby and take care of him for eighteen years, or give him up for adoption or have an abortion. He doesn't have to do any of these things personally, so he won't know how it feels, so he shouldn't have to make the decision for you. Choose what it is best for you and the your life. You will be the one most involved emotionally, physically, and your future as well.
- Don't let anyone push you to act one way or another. Ultimately, the decision is yours alone. Don't let anyone interfere with your decision, whether with emotional manipulation or physical strength. Remember that you have rights.
- If you can, talk to your boyfriend as soon as you accept the situation. The sooner you tell your boyfriend, the more options you will have.
- If you really can't tell your boyfriend, try talking to your mom, or even his mom, about what to say to him.
Warnings
- If your boyfriend gets violent then leave immediately. You don't have to stay and try to talk to him if your well-being is in danger.
- While it can be very helpful to seek the advice of loved ones, you need to remember that you have the ultimate responsibility for the content of what you say to your boyfriend.
