Being ignored is a bad feeling, whether it's a friend, your partner or your brother who keeps his distance. While it may be tempting to keep looking for the other person until they answer you, it's actually wiser to take a step back. Continue with your everyday life as she processes her feelings. The good news is that you probably won't be ignored forever! Once things have settled down, you can try to arrange an in-person meeting to discuss the problem and come up with a solution that satisfies both of you.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Leave Room for the Other Person
Step 1. Try to understand why he ignores you
Depending on the situation, the reason may be obvious. For example, if you just got into a bitter fight with your wife, you know exactly why she doesn't talk to you. If you don't understand why the other person is ignoring you, consider whether you've done something that may have made them angry.
- For example, you may have spoken ill of a friend behind his back and he may have learned what you said.
- If you haven't included a person in your plans or haven't responded to their phone calls or messages, you may have hurt them with your behavior.
Advise:
in some cases, you may not have done anything that deserves to be ignored. If you have a crush on the person who is ignoring you or your relationship has just started, it's probably best to move on. You deserve someone to treat you better!
Step 2. Let it simmer
Regardless of why you are being ignored, the worst thing you can do is stay with your breath on the other person. Don't text her dozens of messages, don't call her repeatedly, and don't keep asking her why she ignores you. Give her some time to understand how she feels and how - or if - she wants to get in touch with you.
- A single message or a phone call is allowed, but do not send dozens of text messages asking "Why are you ignoring me?", "What have I done wrong?" or "Please talk to me!". That way you would annoy the other person and risk looking desperate.
- It can be very difficult to resist the temptation to try to fix the problem right away. However, you can't control the other person, so it's best to give them some space.
Step 3. Distract yourself by thinking about work, school or your hobbies
You can waste a lot of time and energy trying to figure out why someone is ignoring you or getting obsessed that they don't talk to you. However, it's not a productive attitude and would only make you feel miserable. Go on with your normal life and activities as usual. Throwing yourself into work or school is a productive way to avoid thinking about the problem.
Dedicate your free time to activities you enjoy, such as fishing, cooking, soccer, woodworking, poetry, swimming, crochet or coding
Step 4. Spend time with people who care
While it's normal to feel very down when someone you care about ignores you, they're probably not the only one you enjoy spending time with. Contact other friends or relatives and ask if they want to meet you. Take the opportunity to nurture other relationships and spend quality time with loved ones.
It is very important to satisfy your emotional needs, especially when you are having problems in a relationship that is fundamental to you
Step 5. Think about how you have reacted to this type of behavior in the past
If a person has already stopped talking to you in the past and you've showered them with attention to get them to consider you again, they may be trying to achieve the same result.
This is another reason why it's important to avoid being clingy or begging the other person to give you their attention; he might just ignore you to provoke your reaction. With this attitude, you make her understand that by ignoring you she will get what she wants, when in reality it is not a healthy way to deal with problems
Part 2 of 2: Talk in person
Step 1. Contact the other person and arrange a meeting
If you want to resolve the conflict with the person who ignores you, you have to face the problem. Talking in person is better than doing it via text or over the phone, because you will be able to see your interlocutor's expression and understand if their words and actions are sincere.
- You can arrange the meeting with a phone call, a message or even a note. Try saying, "I know you are very angry with me and I would love to talk about it. Can we meet for coffee at 10 on a Saturday morning?"
- Choose a neutral venue for the match so that no one has the home advantage.
Advise:
the other person may not respond to your invitation or decline it. In this case, you can't do much. If you are available to discuss the issue in the future, let them know and ask them to contact you when they feel ready.
Step 2. Ask her directly why she ignores you
Now that you've got the person to talk to you, get to the point. Even if you think you know why she doesn't consider you, ask her to explain it to you from her own perspective. You may be surprised what the problem really is or why ignoring you is the right way to deal with the situation for him.
Step 3. Listen carefully to what he says
Don't be defensive and don't think about your reply as he speaks. It won't be easy, especially when you are accused of something or if the other person thinks you are wrong. However, do your best to listen to what he says, read between the lines, and really try to see the situation from his point of view.
- Use body language to show that you are listening by making eye contact and nodding when you understand or agree.
- Don't be afraid to ask questions if you need clarification. You can also repeat what he said to make sure you understand.
Step 4. If you were wrong, apologize
If you've done something that hurt or angered the other person, take responsibility for your actions. Put your ego aside, so you can acknowledge your mistakes and sincerely apologize. Considering the other person's feelings can go a long way in regaining a good relationship with them.
You can say: "Laura, I'm sorry I didn't invite you to the evening I organized with friends. I understand that I hurt your feelings."
Step 5. Explain your side of the story
Once the other person has made their complaints and feels understood, it will be your turn to explain the effect this conflict has had on you. Share your point of view on the situation, without blaming the other person. Expose your feelings with first-person affirmations and don't forget to tell her how it felt to be ignored.
For example, you can say, "I felt really sad and anxious when you refused to talk to me. I really appreciate our friendship and I want to make up for it."
Step 6. If possible, find a compromise or a solution
At this point, it will probably be clear whether the relationship can be saved or not. In some cases, an apology will be enough. In others, it may take time and effort to mend the relationship. Decide together what the next step should be.
- You can offer solutions and compromises to find one that suits both of you.
- It is easy to make promises, while it is much more difficult to keep them. Make sure you're willing to make the sacrifices necessary to rebuild trust in your relationship if that's the problem.
Step 7. Accept that certain relationships aren't worth saving
If the person who ignores you tries to convince you to do something (or not to do something), they are manipulating you. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If you notice that a friend or relative often engages in this type of behavior, you will probably be better off when you walk away from them, especially if it continues even after you have had a confrontation about their behavior.
