Pleasing a girl when she seems to have no interest in a relationship is difficult, but not impossible. Girls often communicate their feelings differently than boys, and are more rarely directed at their preferences. If you hear a girl say "she's not ready for a relationship," it might be referring to a recent breakup, or unwanted attention from a guy, and not a total renunciation of relationships. Even if you risk getting rejected, if you like a girl, show it by inviting her to go out with you.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Approach a Girl You Like
Step 1. Consider why you want that girl to like you
Why do you find her attractive? What are the qualities you appreciate? If the attraction is purely physical, most women can sense that your interest is superficial and will actively avoid you if they are not interested. Constant and unwanted superficial attention from men can make a woman feel isolated, lonely and misunderstood. She may begin to doubt her worth if her physical appearance is the only reason she is approached. Before approaching a girl you have a romantic interest in, take a step back, and reevaluate why you want to like her and if you want to be in a relationship with her. Good qualities to look for in a mate include:
- Integrity: She is honest with herself and with others, is trustworthy and reliable. You can communicate thoughts, fears and emotions directly to her.
- Emotional Maturity and Self-Esteem: No one is perfect, but the willingness to reflect and learn from the past (and show that they have learned) is a key trait of emotionally mature people. Emotionally immature girls are the ones who make their self-esteem and well-being dependent, and let their emotions control their actions.
- Selfless and committed to personal growth: she has her own interests and actively pursues them, has a generally positive attitude about life (even in difficult circumstances) and maintains good relationships with friends and family, encouraging those close to her. On the contrary, those who always put their own interests ahead of that of others, are too competitive or judge others, are not a good potential partner.
Step 2. Make yourself more attractive to women
One of the ways to get a girl to notice you is to improve your appearance, and to make your behaviors and your interactions and relationships with others more attractive. With some small adjustments, not only can you become more attractive to women, but you can also improve your self-esteem. Before making any drastic changes, remember that often the little things, like listening to her, taking care of hygiene, and doing something nice for others (not just in her presence), are the most important.
- Take care of your appearance: you will show that you respect yourself and know how to take care of yourself. Make sure you wear clean, ironed clothes, shower at least once every two days, comb your hair, and groom or shave your beard. Maintain oral hygiene by brushing your teeth twice a day and avoiding foods that cause bad breath (such as coffee and garlic). Avoid wearing too much perfume or deodorant - opt for a neutral aftershave and deodorant instead.
- Wear something red - no one knows why, but wearing red makes a man appear more powerful and successful. Girls will remember and recognize you better if you wear a red shirt, tie, jacket or sweater.
- Relax and be confident: Don't let fear of rejection stop you from talking to the girl you like, even if she seems uninterested in you. Girls don't like insecure men. They also find relaxed, unstressed men more agreeable.
Step 3. Talk to the girl you like, even if she doesn't seem interested
Let her know that you exist with a conversation and a friendly relationship. Expose yourself to show interest without being too pushy or aggressive. Ask her a question about her or a topic that interests both of you. Make a general statement about the weather, school, or something you eat. Break the ice by asking her for a favor, like help with a project or homework, or to keep an eye on your things while you order coffee. Talk about cheerful topics, and avoid politics, religion, past relationships or traumatic events.
- Get his attention by meeting his gaze and smiling as you speak. Avoid speaking too fast or in a high voice - you will seem nervous.
- If you walk side by side, slow down and slightly exaggerate your shoulder movements. This will make you look relaxed and helpful - good quality for a friend or mate.
- Remember to be respectful. Respect her autonomy if she decides she doesn't want a relationship - friendship or romantic - with you. Don't question his decision. It is important to understand that some people are not compatible.
Step 4. Don't give ambiguous signals about your feelings
The term "ambiguous" refers to the difference between how others perceive you and your actions and point of view. One of the reasons she may not be interested in a relationship with you is that you have given her ambiguous signals. For example, if you always boast of your conquests or your interest in other women, or if you have the fame of someone who arrives late for appointments or gives up on friends.
- Show off your qualities without bragging. Mention the successes you are proud of, the goals you set for yourself, and how you achieved them.
- Be more direct and open about your feelings. One of the ambiguous signals you can give is to be cold, numb, or pessimistic. This is especially important if you are a quiet person by nature.
Step 5. Be a good friend
If a woman is truly disinterested in a relationship, or if she has some personal problem (family, school, work, health, etc.) that prevents her from having a relationship, don't pressure her. The best, and only, thing you can do right now is to be a good friend and confidant. You will have to support it, without suffocating it. This is especially important if you are dealing with a personal problem, such as a bereavement or an illness in the family.
- Give her her space and respect her privacy. Don't try to solve her problems or always give her advice. Just let her know that you are there and want to hear her.
- Become a good listener. Do not intervene with your opinion and resist the temptation to try to solve everything. Let her talk and wait for her to figure out what to do.
- Organize group activities and include it. Offer to pick her up or pay for her. Simple acts of kindness, if done without ulterior motives, can make a great impression.
Method 2 of 3: Ask for an Appointment
Step 1. Get to know her better in an informal setting
If you are already friends with him and want to take things to the success level, skip this step. If you've just met or are just acquaintances, spend time with her in a group or ask her out indirectly. To do this, you might need something to strike up a conversation. Start from scratch: when you see her, catch her eye, smile and say "Hi" to her. Then, start a normal conversation. Compliment her about her personality, looks, clothing, or ask her about her interests (music, movies, books, hobbies, etc.). Start with this general conversation to develop a closer relationship based on common interests, shared goals, etc.
- Be patient and take into account both of your personalities at this stage. Some girls are naturally more open and talkative, while others may be more shy or hesitant at first.
- Never use mundane tow phrases. Not only will you make a bad impression, but the girl may feel belittled and offended.
Step 2. Ask the girl out
You can be direct and ask her out, or take a more discreet approach and ask her what she's up to next weekend and if she has plans. Which approach to take depends on the situation and your personalities. Other indirect examples include: asking if she has been to a particular restaurant and asking her if she would like to try it out with you; or expressing an opportunity, such as "we're both free this weekend and the weather will be fine - why don't we do something together?". Remember, at this stage you are only asking her to go out with you (to the cinema, to a concert, to dinner, etc.), not if she wants to be your girlfriend. Save the discussion about a relationship after a few dates, and once you know there is attraction between you.
- Don't put a girl up against the wall and don't make her feel trapped when you ask her out. She may say no because she feels uncomfortable and intimidated.
- While it is acceptable for a woman to ask a man out, most women think the man should take the first step.
- Be aware of gender differences when asking a girl out. Women, for example, have a tendency to be less direct in starting a relationship or expressing interest.
Step 3. Make a good impression on the first date
On a first date (or the first time you date), your goal should be to make sure she has a good evening, to express your feelings clearly but without exaggerating, and not to try to do anything too weird, expensive. or romantic. Organize a group outing or something in a public place instead of inviting her to spend time alone with you. You take the initiative in deciding what to do and where to go for the appointment. Prepare well - ask her if she has any preferences regarding food, make reservations if necessary, and avoid places that are too fancy and expensive.
- Make a point of looking after your appearance - wash and comb your hair, brush your teeth, don't put on too much perfume and wear clean, ironed clothes.
- Don't overdo the alcohol, be responsible and polite. Doing so means not dominating the conversation, turning off the phone to give her your full attention, and being nice to others.
- Avoid discussing controversial topics, such as politics, past relationships, work or sex issues. Instead, focus on the right topics, such as current events (and their views on the most recent events), family, travel (places you've visited or want to visit), or your thoughts on love and relationships.
Method 3 of 3: Conquer it
Step 1. Become a best friend to yourself and her friends
Friends are the foundation of a good relationship. While becoming a good friend can be counterproductive and put you in the "friend zone," in most cases it is a way to show that you are kind, thoughtful, serious and good at communicating. But don't let your friend status limit your chances of a relationship. Don't let your feelings lead you to be exploited by the girl you care about. If it seems to you that the friendship is no longer equal (you do all the work and she only receives the benefits), it may be time to tell her how you feel or to spend more time away from her and her friends.
Step 2. Make fun of her and make fun of her
When done with affection, teasing is a great non-verbal way to show interest in a person. Joking can also help relieve anxiety and tension. When you make fun of someone, you should do it in a flattering and non-offensive way. Also, make sure he understands that you are joking by following up with a compliment. Lightly mock his musical or culinary tastes.
- Other examples of pranks include tickling her, putting your hands over her eyes and asking her "who is it," or giving her a gentle push on her back or arm.
- Show that you are joking by using an exaggerated facial expression and tone of voice, or by smiling.
Step 3. Try flirting with her
Flirting is a basic and universal component of human behavior when we want to initiate an interaction with the opposite sex. When flirting, you should start with something subtle, like a play of glances, a smile, and then look away. You can also compliment her or act like an old-fashioned gentleman by holding her door, offering to pay for her coffee, or bringing her books. If you know each other and are comfortable with each other, try pulling her hair off her face, giving her a hug when you see her, or sitting next to her. If she is interested in you, she will reciprocate and start flirting as well.
Step 4. Be difficult
One sure way to get a girl to not want you is to look clingy, needy, or desperate. If your relationship has stalled, give her some space, expand your social network by talking to other girls and being tough. By creating a challenge, you may appear more desirable.
- Don't show all your feelings early in the relationship. Maintain an aura of mystery and uncertainty to keep things interesting - and perhaps ignite the flame of love.
- Give it space and not be found. While you shouldn't stand up to her after organizing something together, don't write her down or call her every day. Your absence could lead her to realize how much she cares about you.
Step 5. Keep your interactions informal
If she likes you and she likes you but is afraid to commit, you can always decide to stay in an informal relationship. Informal relationships are non-exclusive romantic relationships. While you may see each other fairly regularly, you can flirt or hang out with other people. Especially if you are between 18 and 24, having an open and informal relationship can help you grow emotionally and feel comfortable in relationships with the opposite sex. In an informal relationship, it is important to establish general rules to minimize the risk of one of the people being hurt:
- Can you go out in public?
- Can other people know about your situation or is it better to keep it secret?
- What happens when a person has a romantic relationship with another? Do you have to tell yourself?
- How often will you see each other? When can you call or write to each other?
- Avoid condescending or accusatory questions, such as: How many people do you frequent? Where were you last night? Why don't you answer the phone? Can I add you on Facebook?
- If you can't agree on these rules, you probably shouldn't be in an informal relationship. Tell her your feelings and let her know that you like her, but that you should remain friends until she wants to commit to something more serious.
Advice
- More than anything else, really respect it. Respect what he thinks, his feelings, his interests. Get in tune with what she loves and what she doesn't like and you can become more than "one like many".
- A person who is not interested in being in a relationship of any kind has sometimes been hurt. Don't push it and don't use the word "relationship" or the phrase "getting to know each other". Before an injured person can fully open up, you will need to create a very solid foundation of friendship.
- Grow as a person: what you can do, your interests, a good disposition will make you more attractive. Focus on becoming more interesting, instead of forcing a certain person to love you. You may end up with someone even better for you!
- Know when to let it go. It's rarely worth spending a lot of time with girls who don't say they're ready for a relationship. If they don't like you, then there's no point in trying and trying again. It will only cause pain.
- Respect their decision and the right to say no. You can't force it.
- Be direct about your feelings. After a few appointments, if you still don't know how he feels about you, take matters into your own hands. Express your feelings discreetly. Something over the top or too romantic might make her uncomfortable.
- Evaluate the situation carefully. Some people just don't get it right. If she doesn't like you, you can't do much to change that.
- If a girl doesn't like you or tells you she isn't ready for a relationship, it could also be because she has a (secret) boyfriend and doesn't want you to find out and feel bad. Respect his choice and move on.
- Some girls have other priorities in life, such as study, work, family obligations, religious beliefs, or sports, which may take precedence over relationships.
- Don't stop your whole life when trying to be in a relationship with a girl who isn't ready. Don't waste opportunities to date other girls because you are waiting for the perfect girl.
Warnings
- If a girl tells you directly "I'm not interested in a relationship right now", or "I already have a boyfriend", get the message - she doesn't want a romantic relationship with you.
- Never put yourself in a situation where you feel manipulated, embarrassed or exploited. Relationships should benefit both people - if it seems like the girl takes you for granted or is too dependent on you, she probably isn't really interested.
- Inappropriate comments, displays of affection and unwanted physical contact or dirty gestures are never lawful and can constitute sexual harassment.
- Never force a girl into a sexual act and never take advantage of a girl intoxicated by alcohol or drugs. Rape is a very serious criminal offense.
- Respect a woman's right to decide the boundaries of her relationships, and respect her if she decides to date other people.
