Sooner or later, if you don't learn to keep your mouth shut, you could get in trouble. In the office, when talking with friends and in the classroom, learning to remain silent is a very valuable skill. By becoming better at listening, you will allow others the opportunity to contribute to the conversation, you can avoid any misunderstandings and hurt the feelings of others. Most importantly, when you decide to speak, everyone will be much more willing to hear what you have to say.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Avoid Saying What You Think
Step 1. Imagine saying the first thing that comes to mind, but avoid doing it
To begin learning to keep your mouth shut, it can be difficult to avoid responding when you have the desire to. To overcome this problem, think about what you would like to say and imagine how the conversation would unfold. At that point, remain silent.
This technique is very effective if you happen to get emotional, get angry, and respond on instinct
Step 2. Write down your thoughts instead of saying them aloud
If you still have trouble keeping your mouth shut, try jotting down your thoughts in a journal. In some cases, putting your thoughts on paper is enough to overcome the urge to talk. You can then tear off the paper or use the annotation to better express what you intend to say.
For example, you could write, "Why did you throw that party without asking me? Sometimes you act without thinking." Afterwards, throw the paper away without saying that sentence or you could express yourself differently: "I wish you hadn't organized the party before you talked about it with me."
Step 3. Practice active listening
Pay attention not only to what the other person is saying, but also to the way they speak. Look for non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions or hand gestures. That way, you'll get a better idea of what she's trying to tell you, and she'll feel more comfortable talking to you, knowing you won't interrupt her.
For example, if you ask someone if they can babysit your children and they say "I'm not sure I can do this", don't interrupt them. If you notice that he has a sad expression on his face and nervously playing with his hands, you can understand that the idea makes him uncomfortable and that you shouldn't insist
Step 4. Try to calm your mind with meditation
It takes effort to keep your mouth shut, especially if you keep thinking about what you want to say. Train your mind to become more serene by trying:
- Meditation;
- Yoga;
- Reading;
- Walking or running;
- Painting.
Method 2 of 3: Knowing When to Stay Silent
Step 1. Be silent instead of complaining or complaining
If you have a tendency to talk too much about the people and events that bother you, others will start to think of you as a person who always complains. You could lose the respect of your listeners and push them to stop paying attention to you.
This is especially true if you have a tendency to complain about things you can't change, like the weather
Step 2. Keep your mouth shut when someone is rude or inconsiderate
We all have bad days, in which we are short-tempered or unpleasant unexpected events happen to us. Instead of getting angry and blaming the other person for their behavior, let them let off steam and try to be nice.
Later, the person you are talking to may regret their behavior and appreciate that you did not point it out
Step 3. Leave the gossip to others
Whether you're at the coffee machine or in the hallways between classes, resist the urge to talk behind others' backs. People will stop trusting you if they find that you often spread rumors, plus you may say something that will hurt them or get in trouble. It's best to avoid gossip altogether.
Remember the reasons why gossip is harmful. For example, the information you share may be false or provoke another person's anger
Step 4. If you feel angry and are about to say something offensive, stop
When you are angry for some reason it is easy to attack others, but reacting with anger will only aggravate the conflict. It's much better to keep your mouth shut than to say something you may regret in the future.
Also, it's a good idea to keep your mouth shut when your words can make another person very angry
Advise:
if you have a tendency to talk too much and hurt others when you drink, try to quit alcohol or drink only when you are with people you really trust.
Step 5. Avoid talking if you need to negotiate a deal or plan a schedule
Do not disclose private information, especially if it involves other people's decisions. For example, avoid discussing the details of a new hire, the offer you were offered, or the group project you are working on. Others may not appreciate you telling everyone what is happening, especially when the plans are not yet final. Plus, you'll look bad if things don't turn out as you anticipated.
For example, instead of saying "I'm going to have the lead role in the play, because I don't think anyone else has the right experience," be silent until you know the result of your audition
Step 6. Stay silent instead of bragging
Nobody likes to hear from people talking about their successes, so avoid always shifting the conversation to yourself. Others will appreciate your actions more if someone else informs them and praises you.
For example, avoid saying "I closed the contract, so you have to thank me." If you don't point this out, another person might mention the role you played in the success of the project and those words will be most appreciated, coming from an unbiased observer
Step 7. Keep your mouth shut if you don't know the answer to a question
If you have a habit of talking too much, you probably find yourself responding even when you don't know the topic of conversation. Try to avoid this behavior. Most everyone will be able to understand that you don't know what you are saying, and you will be wasting their time if you can't get through.
If you have to answer, you can say, "I don't know this very well. Anyone else have any ideas?"
Step 8. Enjoy silence instead of speaking to fill it
If no one is talking and the people present seem slightly uncomfortable, wait for someone else to say something. You may feel embarrassed at first, but with practice you will be able to keep your mouth shut. In some cases, you'll just have to wait for one of the other people to finish thinking about what they want to say and find the courage to join the conversation.
Advise:
if you can't keep your mouth shut, mentally count. For example, you might wait 3 minutes before saying something.
Step 9. Avoid revealing too much information to strangers
If you often interact with people you don't know, it can be difficult for you to understand when you talk too much. Pay attention to the amount of private information you share with people you don't really know. You can still keep a friendly attitude, without telling your life story.
- You should also observe other people's reactions. For example, if you are talking too much, they may look away, look bored, or try to walk away.
- This also applies to people you've met before but don't know very well. If you reveal too much information about you, it could make them feel weird or overwhelmed.
Method 3 of 3: Learn When to Speak
Step 1. Think before you speak
Instead of ranting and saying everything that comes into your mind, try saying something only after you have thought about it. Decide what you want to say and how you will do it.
You will appear more confident, especially if you avoid taking breaks and using a lot of interjections, such as "er"
Step 2. Ask questions instead of chatting
If you talk too much, you probably don't ask questions or give others time to answer. Your conversations will be more rewarding if everyone engages and participates. Ask sensible questions and wait for your interlocutor to answer, avoiding speaking for him or interrupting him.
Knowing how to ask questions is especially important in meetings, negotiations, and in the classroom
Step 3. Talk when you have the opportunity to positively contribute to the conversation
Listen carefully to others and ask yourself if your words would add anything. If what you are going to say has already been stated by someone else, there is no reason to repeat it. Wait for the moment when you have a chance to say something useful or that sheds some light on the subject.
