Self-esteem issues can be so demoralizing that they convince sufferers that they don't deserve any kind of attention. However, each individual has qualities and abilities that must be valued. If you have a hard time believing in yourself, you can take concrete action to build your personal confidence. By developing a positive attitude as well, you will be able to give an extra boost of enthusiasm.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Developing a Positive Lifestyle
Step 1. Take care of yourself
Increasing self-esteem means first of all putting aside time and attention for yourself. The first step in learning to see how others value you is to show how much you value yourself. Therefore, try to:
- Exercise
- Follow a daily routine that makes you feel good, such as taking a nice relaxing bath at the end of the day or a walk in the afternoon;
- Develop new skills or take up a new hobby, improve your talent at something or delve into topics that you are passionate about;
- Appreciate the space you live in! Set aside all the time you need to clean and furnish your home, even in a simple way.
Step 2. Eat healthily
To feel good, you need to eat properly and, therefore, eat a balanced diet. Some nutrients, such as vitamin D and vitamin B12, also help lift mood.
- Excellent sources of vitamin D are: salmon, dairy products and enriched fruit juices.
- The best sources of vitamin B12 are: liver, enriched cereals and dairy products.
Step 3. Find time to do what you enjoy
If you have low self-esteem, stress could affect your well-being. However, by allocating some of your free time to your passions, you have the opportunity to relieve everyday tensions and fuel your self-esteem. Try reading a book, taking advantage of your musical or artistic talent, going to the cinema or playing some games, spending time with friends. Anything will do as long as you like it!
Step 4. Get something done
Self-esteem issues are often linked to the idea of being worthless. A great antidote to this unpleasant feeling is to set your sights on achieving something and stick to that goal. Even the smallest accomplishments will make you feel more confident and successful.
- You could start by working to improve the look and comfort of your home: do the cleaning, tidy up the closet, give a different touch with some decoration, etc.
- Even if you take care of chores that don't require a lot of effort or stress, like running errands or going to the grocery store, you will feel like you've accomplished something.
- Also try to focus on long-term goals, such as reducing or remedying any debt situation, learning new skills, losing weight, and so on.
Step 5. Dress well
While appearance and image care shouldn't be the main motivational factors, don't rule out the positive effects they could have on your self-esteem. However, this does not mean that you have to spend too much money on clothing. If you dress so that you feel comfortable, you will be able to bring out your inner self!
Step 6. Give yourself some rewards
You can prove to yourself your worth if you indulge in something special from time to time. These are rewards that value everything you do, especially if they come after hard work.
Your rewards don't necessarily have to be items. You can also indulge in an experience, perhaps a concert after the realization of a large work or school project
Step 7. Dedicate your time to positive people
If you want to increase your self-esteem, surround yourself with optimistic, kind and supportive people. Avoid people who are negative, mean, or who seem to get in your way.
Step 8. Try to be nice
If you can't feel good about yourself, try doing something nice for someone else. You will feel better helping people. If you show yourself attentive to people, you will trust more and more in the fact that others care about you. Try:
- Do some kind gestures, such as offering something to eat to a stranger;
- Visit a friend or a sick relative;
- Help the neighbors tidy up the garage or garden;
- Volunteer where you live by committing to a good cause.
Part 2 of 3: Recognizing Your Pros
Step 1. Make a list of the positives
You will certainly receive a boost of self-esteem if you stop to look at the best sides of your life. Positive thoughts drive negativities out of the mind. Therefore, try to come up with a list to include:
- The things you are grateful for;
- Your strengths (such as kindness, patience and thoughtfulness);
- Strengths or particular gifts that you may have (such as dedication to work, intelligence, artistic or musical skills, skills in a certain professional field or study, and so on).
Step 2. Engage in an exercise in mutual compliments
Sit down with a friend, family member, or person you trust. Take turns giving each other some compliments or describing your strengths to each other. This simple exercise will increase your self-esteem and that of those in front of you.
Step 3. Create a "good stuff album"
Collect everything that values your best qualities: photographs, letters, awards, souvenirs of places you have visited and other memories of the best experiences of your life. Make sure you update this collection, continuing to add more elements, and review it whenever you feel the need to boost your self-esteem.
It doesn't have to be an album. A box or shelf on which to arrange the various objects will also work
Step 4. Plan a calendar to improve your self-esteem
Take a calendar and, for each day, set something to do that will help you feel better. For example, you could "make your favorite meal", "call a friend" or "take a walk in the park". Put a tick on everything you can accomplish and think about how you feel next.
Part 3 of 3: Developing a Positive Attitude
Step 1. Disrupt negative thoughts
Self-esteem problems often depend on external stressors or moments of crisis. While you can't avoid them, you can gain some control over how you see situations. When you notice that a negative thought is invading your mind, stop and turn it into something more positive.
- When you are too critical of yourself (and perhaps repeat: "I'm so stupid"), try asking yourself a few questions: "Is this true? Could I say the same to / to someone else? What do I gain from thinking this way? What would I have? to gain if I stop thinking this way? ".
- Try reframing these kinds of thoughts so that you see a situation more positively. For example, instead of thinking, "I won't be distracted in class anymore," try saying to yourself, "I want to study more seriously."
- Try this simple exercise. Fold a piece of paper in half. On the one hand, write down all the negative thoughts related to your person. On the other, in correspondence with each negative thought, write a positive one in order to replace those on the first list.
Step 2. Accept some failures
No one can be successful at everything. Defeats are part of life. However, try to acknowledge your efforts and make peace with yourself when you are fully committed to something. Also try to think about how you might learn from mistakes.
For example, if you fail an exam (even if you've studied hard), stop for a moment and acknowledge how hard you've been. If I hadn't studied at all, it surely would have been worse. So review your mistakes to find out how you can improve in the future
Step 3. Listen to yourself
Most of the time your body and mind tell you what you need to do and, therefore, you can learn to live better with yourself if you listen to your needs. Maybe you just need more sleep when you are tired. However, listening to yourself also means trusting your intuitions and following your instincts. For example, if you are constantly thinking about moving to be closer to your family, perhaps this is an idea that should not be underestimated.
Step 4. Don't compare yourself to others
Life often involves many competitions, but it is important to set stakes instead of putting yourself on the same level as others. Realize that no one is infallible and that each person has their strengths. If you want to improve some aspect of your life, do it for yourself, without worrying about what others might do or think.
For example, if you intend to become more agile in a sport, such as basketball or tennis, set a goal based on the idea that you need to improve yourself instead of trying to match or surpass someone else
Step 5. Find support
If you think you have self-esteem issues, you don't have to deal with them alone. Sincere friends and family will be happy to make you feel better by spending time with you and highlighting your strengths. You can also find a support group or psychologist to work with to find ways to fuel your self-esteem.
Step 6. Identify the source of the problem
If you become aware of what undermines your self-esteem, you will be able to cope with the situation. Sometimes, it is difficult to pinpoint the exact causes, but triggers typically include:
- Situations where the stakes are high, such as an important work or school project;
- Noticeable changes in personal or professional life, such as the end of a relationship or the loss of a job
- A period of crisis due to illness, injury or financial problems;
- Bullying and bullying at work or at school;
- Negative perception of one's own body image.
