Usually, deciding to do something new involves giving up something else. This is what makes it difficult: you have to deal with a loss, as well as with the uncertainty of the future. We resist changes when the number of positive things in our life equals the number of negative things. Making an objective comparison between these positives and negatives helps us move forward.
Steps
Step 1. On a sheet of paper, oriented horizontally, draw five columns
Step 2. Mark the columns from left to right:
- "+" Score
- Positive things
- What am I going to change
- Negative things
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Score "-"
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 3 Step 3. In column 3, "What am I going to change", write the decision you are having trouble making
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For instance:
- "To go to university"
- "Buying a new car"
- "Find a new job"
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 4 Step 4. In column 2, list the positive things you expect to happen as a result of this change
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 5 Step 5. In column 4, list the negative things you expect to happen as a result of this change
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 6 Step 6. List an equal number, if possible, of "positive" and "negative" things
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 7 Step 7. In column 1, give a score of 1 to 10 for all the positive things you have listed in column 2, meaning 1 as a very low score and 10 as a very high one
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 8 Step 8. Add the score from column 1
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 9 Step 9. In column 5, give a score of 1 to 10 for all the negative things you have listed in column 4, meaning 1 as a very low score and 10 as a very high one
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 10 Step 10. Add the score from column 5
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 11 Step 11. Subtract the total of column 5 (negative reasons) from the total of column 1 (positive reasons)
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 12 Step 12. If after the subtraction you get a positive number and your instincts tell you that the change is GOOD, you decide to change
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 13 Step 13. If you get a negative number and your instincts tell you that change IS NOT GOOD, you decide not to change
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 14 Step 14. If you get a negative number, but your instincts rebel and tell you that the change would be GOOD, create an action plan to reduce the negative reasons or increase the positive ones
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 15 Step 15. Reduce the impact of as many negative reasons as possible to prepare yourself to make the change
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For example, if one of your negative reasons is: "I don't have enough money for college tuition" try to find some ways to make enough money, such as:
- apply for a scholarship
- get a part time job
- find a cheaper school
- attend school part time, working full time
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 16 Step 16. Set a deadline for a future date to make the change, giving yourself time to debunk some of the negative reasons
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 17 Step 17. Do this exercise again, after you have debunked some of the negative reasons or found others that are positive
Make Tough Decisions for Yourself Step 18 Step 18. When you get a positive number that you trust, make the change
Warnings
- BEFORE MAKING CORRECTIONS TO THIS PAGE, do the exercise: it is not a mathematical problem.
- When calculating your answer, pay attention to your instincts or your guts. Your decision must excite you and be something you really want to do.
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