When it comes to dating, a girl can be tough to test your level of commitment and inspire you to work harder to win her over. She will tell you that she is too busy to see you or will take a long time to call you back. How to tell if a girl is being tough or if she just doesn't care?
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Knowing If He's Being Hard
Step 1. Ask her out and see if she responds with an open "no"
This technique involves chasing that glimmer of hope it leaves you. It may tell you that it is not available, but that it is free another day. He might say "no", but tell you about an interesting place he wants to go to. Or she may not be ready for a date, telling you to wait.
- A flat, definitive refusal or "no" means she's not interested. He will not offer to refer you and will never contact you again.
- Learn to allow space and when to stop. If you ask a girl out too many times or too often, you will become less attractive and look desperate in her eyes.
Step 2. Contact her and note how long she takes to respond
If he only responds to phone calls or texts after a while, even just to say "hi" to you, he is probably playing hard. When she finally replies, she can make up excuses about how busy she was. For example, she'll tell you she was at a party or with her friends. She is trying to show you that she is a busy girl and that she doesn't just care about spending time with you.
- The delay in responses should happen in a constant and almost strategic way. If she doesn't respond to you for days or comes up with weird excuses, she probably doesn't care enough.
- Some girls simply have a habit of not responding to messages and phone calls right away. Don't give too much weight to this detail and don't blame her. If it makes you feel like you're interested in you in any way, take a deep breath and remember that people are often busy or careless.
Step 3. Notice if it shows you that you have competition
A girl who is difficult wants to look difficult. It's his way of letting you know that he has a lot of options to choose from and that he could settle down with someone else at any time.
- He may have good-looking friends drive you to parties to make you jealous.
- She'll provoke you by telling you about the guys who tried her and failed. You may get the impression that she is ridiculing them, but in reality she just wants to make you realize how attractive she is.
- If she talks to you about the person she's dating, she's probably not interested and only sees you as a friend. Don't consider it a failure, but rather the start of a beautiful friendship. However, not everyone can remain friends with someone they have a romantic interest in, so learn when to get away and find someone else.
Part 2 of 2: Understanding If She's Interested in You
Step 1. Notice if he's flirting with you by watching for physical cues
Even if a girl is tough, she may still be interested in you. In this case, she will try to send you discreet signals that she likes you. It's not easy to tell if a girl is flirting with you, so watch her body language carefully for the most common signs:
- It always touches you. He may put his hand on your shoulder or arm when he talks to you. Maybe he gets very close and leans against you. He can often come up with reasons or excuses to get in touch with you.
- He smiles at you a lot. He may catch your eye across the room and smile sweetly at you, for no particular reason.
- Draw attention to his body. She may bite her lip, fix her hair, or cross her legs. He may be holding these postures unconsciously or voluntarily, but all of these small movements draw your attention to a specific part of his body.
- He hugs you in a special way. If he's not one of those people who hug everyone, it's easy to tell when he's giving you a hug that's reserved specifically for you. This is an excuse to get close to you and express your affection. Even if you're not sure if it's a special hug, be content with receiving such a nice gesture from him.
Step 2. Listen carefully to the way he talks to you
An interested girl will try to make you understand with words, so it's important to know how to read between the lines. A simple "hello" can be an attempt at seduction, if you listen carefully to the way he says it.
- Does he laugh at all your stupid jokes? You may happen to make a joke with friends and elicit a laugh or two, but when she hears it, she finds it hilarious. He wants to make you feel the center of attention, but don't confuse this with an embarrassed laugh.
- He gives you many compliments. According to her, you are very funny, kind and have beautiful hair. However, some girls may do the opposite and insult you. It is a very ancient flirting technique, used by almost everyone. It lowers your self-esteem and strangely makes the insulting person seem much more attractive. However, don't confuse these attitudes with the behavior of a girl who really doesn't care. A couple of joking insults can be nice, but if she always insults you by trying to hurt you, she probably doesn't like you.
Step 3. Observe how he behaves towards you in relation to others
It could change dramatically when it is with you. Whether you become nervous, extremely aloof, or flirtatious, a change in behavior often indicates that he doesn't consider you as one of many.
- You can usually observe his normal behavior when he is with friends. If you can, observe her without letting her know that you are present. Notice if his attitude changes when he sees you. She may tense up, become silent and serious, or be very happy to see you.
- Notice how her friends react in your presence. If they whisper, giggle, or sneak up on you, you were probably the subject of their conversations and they're watching you.
- Don't assume that a change in behavior automatically means she likes you. She may be playing hard or being genuinely disinterested.
Step 4. Be difficult too
If you still have doubts, join the game too. This strategy is especially effective if you know for sure that a girl is being tough or is genuinely interested in you.
- Flirt with her only from time to time. Make her doubt that you are not interested in her. It's a fun game for both of you, which keeps the relationship lively and interesting.
- Stay mysterious. Give her some clues about your personality, in order to arouse her curiosity about who you really are. You will look more intriguing and attractive.
- Some girls don't like this approach, even if they practice it. After all, the purpose of this tactic is to force the other person to work harder for you, not less. Play by the rules and show the girl you like her that you are willing to go out of your way to win her over.
Step 5. Take a step back and give her her space
Ultimately you should make her decide if she likes you. The worst thing you can do is become obsessed with being with her. This can lead to accidents or harassment on your part.
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No means no.
If he rejects your advances or asks you to stop writing them, respect his wishes and stop.
- Don't always ask her out and don't always demand her attention.
- Don't stalk her or her friends to find out more information.
Advice
- Know when a girl is being too hard. If he makes things really impossible for you, it's a good idea to step back and reconsider your interest in him. Your time is as precious as that of the girl you are trying to win.
- Be yourself. There's no point in making a girl fall in love with someone you're just pretending to be. It does not allow you to develop a relationship that can work in the long term and always wearing a mask will drain all of your energy.
- Once you have entered into a consensual relationship, it is best to stop being difficult. This is the time to show her who you really are and get to know her really. Treat her with the love and respect she deserves.
- If you can't tell if she likes you, the best way to get the answer is to tell her you like her. This can make you very nervous, but it saves you the trouble of trying to understand and helps you move forward, one way or another.
Warnings
- There are exceptions to the signals mentioned above. Not all girls follow the same rules. Each has a unique personality.
- All relationships must be based on consensus. You both should ask for permission before doing certain things. This is especially important with regards to sexual acts. Consent should be a voluntary, enthusiastic and verbal "yes".
