Few things in this world are more enjoyable than setting a goal and achieving it. Just as athletes experience a kind of intense euphoria at the end of a race, when we get what we set out to do we feel a sense of pride and enthusiasm. This article looks at many ways to define and achieve your goals. Setting the goal is not enough to be able to achieve it, you need to be disciplined and determined. Take the first step, then stay constant, this way you can get everything you want.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Set Goals
Step 1. Determine what you really want to achieve
Don't worry about what others want, set your goals solely for yourself. The results of several studies show that your chances of success increase with the importance you place on your goal.
- For many people, this is the hardest part of the whole process. What do you really want? The answer to this question could be a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. Often, common expressions like "stay true to yourself" clash with work and family obligations. Think of goals that help you live a balanced and happy life, that also guarantee well-being to the people who are dear to you or who depend on you.
- Try asking yourself the following questions: "What do I want to offer my family, my community, or the world?" or "Who do I want to become?". Your answers will help you determine which direction to take.
- At this point, it is normal to still be a little confused. Later, you will be able to better define what you want.
Step 2. Set your priorities
Once you have an idea of what you would like to achieve, you need to prioritize each area of your life. By focusing on too many aspects at a time, you run the risk of quickly feeling exhausted and not getting anything done.
- Break down your goals into three different categories: first, second, and third. The first includes the goals you consider most significant, generally the ones that are most easily achieved. Those that belong to the other two categories are less important and commonly more limited or specific.
- For example, a goal that belongs to the first category might be "to improve my health" or "to spend more time with my family". The second category could include "keeping the house clean, learning to surf", while the third could include "learning to sew, doing laundry more regularly".
Step 3. Set specific goals
Try to be as realistic and specific as possible in identifying your desires. Studies show that it is an essential step to have a better chance of success and generally feel happier. Describe what you want in great detail, bearing in mind that you will most likely have to break down the main goals into several sub-goals.
- Ask yourself about what you want to achieve. What do you need to do to achieve that particular goal? Who will have to help you? When will each secondary objective have to be completed?
- For example, "being healthier" is too broad and vague a definition to help you achieve your goal. Stating that you want to "eat better and exercise more" is certainly more helpful, but it's still not specific enough.
- "Eating three portions of fruit and vegetables a day and exercising three times a week" is a more specific and concrete goal, therefore much easier to achieve.
- You may also need to determine how you will manage to achieve your goals. For example, to eat three servings of fruit and vegetables a day, you might need to make healthy snacks to take to work. Plus, when you have to choose between a plate of fries or a salad, you shouldn't have any doubts. When it comes to exercise, you may have to decide whether to join the gym or go for a walk in the park. Think about every single action you will need to take to advance towards the final goal.
- If you have had to split your goal into several sub-goals, set a deadline for each of them. For example, if you want to participate in the next marathon in your city, you have to set a duration for each phase of training.
Step 4. Be realistic
Setting the specific and concrete goal of "buying a three-room apartment in the city center" is not useful if your maximum spending ceiling barely covers a "studio in the suburbs". Keep your feet on the ground, having challenging goals is correct, but you need to know exactly what to do to achieve them.
For example, if all you want to do is buy a large house in the country, it is essential to set several secondary goals to help you get it. You will have to save the necessary money, take out a mortgage and maybe try to earn more. Write each of these points in writing, specifying each time what are the individual steps to take
Step 5. Put your goals in black and white
Be specific, clear, and include related deadlines. Putting them in writing has the advantage of making them appear a little more real. Keep your list in a place that allows you to re-read it frequently, doing so will help you stay motivated.
Describe your goals in positive terms. The chances of getting what you want are increased if you use positive language to formulate them. For example, write "eat more fruits and vegetables" instead of "stop eating junk food"
Step 6. Make sure they are "quantifiable" goals
How will you know you have reached them? If you want to move to a new home, you'll know you've made it when you sign your lease or purchase agreement, but not all goals are as easy to assess. If you dream of improving your singing skills, how will you know you've made it? Hence the importance of establishing quantifiable goals.
- For example, you might decide to memorize and "perfect" a single song, learn to play an instrument as you sing, or hit a high note. At some point, you'll be sure you've made it and that feeling will give you the strength to pursue bigger and bigger goals.
- Think about how you can get what you want. In many cases, there may be several ways to achieve a goal. Write down everything that comes to your mind, even those that may seem silly or unworkable on the surface. Keep writing for three minutes. If you want to get back in shape, you can join the gym, change your diet, change your daily habits to reach the office on foot or by bike, bring your own lunch instead of eating at fast food or start using the stairs instead of 'elevator. There are numerous paths capable of leading you all to the same goal. Think of each goal as a final destination. What roads can you take to reach it?
Step 7. Build on what you can do to achieve your goals
Remember that the only actions you can control are your own. "Becoming a rock star" is a difficult goal to achieve because it largely depends on the decisions and reactions of other people, over whom you have no control. Otherwise, "forming a band and practicing to become an excellent musician" is a goal that you can pursue thanks to your commitment.
- By focusing exclusively on your actions, you will have a better chance of being able to overcome difficulties, as you will realize that obstacles can neither be predicted nor controlled.
- Remember that in some cases the goal is not the outcome, but the process. For example, "becoming a senator" largely depends on the actions of others which, as we said, you cannot control. If you fail to become a senator, chances are you will think you have failed even though you have done your best. To "run for public office" is instead a goal that you can consider achieved, even if you did not win the elections, because you went all the way through the process using all your skills.
Step 8. Establish a realistic schedule
The deadline does not have to be exact, but at least as likely as possible. The deadlines will need to be realistic based on your goals. If you have a low-paying part-time job, there is no point in expecting to earn a million euros by the end of the year. Give yourself enough time to put your plans into action.
- Set a deadline. As humans, we have a tendency to procrastinate and only get busy when the deadline is approaching. Most likely the same happened when you went to school, you started studying only when the date of the interrogation was almost upon us. Giving yourself deadlines therefore urges you to get down to business.
- Remember that some milestones will take longer than others. "Eat more fruit and vegetables" is a goal that can be put into practice overnight, but "get in better shape" will take much more time and effort. Use common sense when setting deadlines.
- Also consider the time limits imposed from the outside. For example, if you wish to enroll at university, inquire about any deadlines imposed by the faculty you want to attend.
- Create a reward system. As human beings, we are inspired by awards and recognition. Whenever you carry out part of your plans, even if it is minimal progress, give yourself a small reward. For example, if your goal is to practice piano regularly, reward yourself by watching your favorite TV show or reading a comic whenever you stick to your commitment.
- Don't punish yourself if you fail to achieve one of your goals. By chastising or blaming yourself for not being able to do something, you will only stray further away from your desired goal.
Step 9. Identify potential obstacles
No one would want to pause to evaluate what could go wrong while chasing success. Nonetheless, recognizing what obstacles, if any, might be in order to estimate how to overcome them is a crucial step in reaching the goal. If you don't, you won't have any sound strategy when the first difficulties inevitably come your way.
- Obstacles can arise from the outside. For example, if you intend to open your own business, you may need to find the money to pay the rent for a shop. If your dream is to start a bakery, it is also likely that at least initially you will have little time to devote to your family.
- Think about what you can do to get around these potential obstacles. For example, you might be looking to get a new business loan, write a business plan to attract investors, or partner with a friend.
- Sometimes obstacles can come from within. This is the case, for example, of the lack of information, especially in relation to more complex objectives. Emotions, such as fear or uncertainty, are also potential internal obstacles.
- Actions you can take to address the lack of information include, for example, reading some texts on the subject, seeking advice from a subject matter expert, practicing or enrolling in a course.
- Recognize your limitations. For example, if the problem is that your time does not allow you to dedicate both to opening your new store and to your family, there may not be a solution. What you can do is talk to your family to explain that this is only a temporary situation and that you will be able to spend quality time together in the future.
Step 10. Communicate your goals
Many people prefer to avoid sharing their dreams with others. The reason is that if they fail, they will feel ashamed. Unfortunately it is not the right attitude to succeed. Accepting that you are vulnerable is essential both to grow as a person and to truly connect with the world around you. In many cases, the people you reach out to will be able to help you achieve your goals by offering you real physical support or even just the moral support you need.
- Some may not show the enthusiasm you were hoping for about your goals. The reason is that what's relevant to you may not be so relevant to them. Understand that there is a difference between a constructive opinion and a petty comment. Listen to what they have to say, but remember that ultimately you will have to decide how important that goal is to you.
- You may also come across someone who openly obstructs your intentions. If so, remember that what you do, you do it for yourself and for no one else. If you are forced to struggle with someone's constant negativity, openly state that you don't like feeling hindered or judged. Ask the person in question to stop criticizing you.
Step 11. Find people who think like you
You are most likely not the only one with that goal. Look for someone else who has the same desire as you. You can advance together and benefit from each other's skills and experiences. When you achieve success, there will be someone happy to celebrate with you.
Visit the websites, social networking pages, or physical places that meet your needs. In the current digital age, there are indeed many ways to connect with others and stay connected by forming a community
Part 2 of 3: Taking the First Steps
Step 1. Start working towards your goals today
One of the most difficult steps to take to progress towards success is the first. Get started immediately. Even if you are not yet clear what your strategy should be, follow your instincts. Do something that relates to your goals. After taking the first step, congratulate yourself on taking that important path. You will certainly be more motivated to work hard if you can feel a sense of immediate progress.
- For example, if your goal is to "eat healthier", go to the supermarket to buy fresh fruit and vegetables. Throw out any junk food in the pantry. Search the web for new healthy recipes. The sum of these small, simple gestures to perform will make a noticeable difference.
- If you want to learn something new, start practicing now. If you dream of becoming an excellent musician, tune your guitar and play the basic chords. Start reading DIY learning books. Whatever goal you wish to achieve, there is definitely a way to take immediate action.
Step 2. Stick to your action plan
If you have put into practice the advice presented so far, you should have a clear idea of the actions you need to take to achieve your goal. Now is the time to get down to business.
Let's go back to the example of the three-room apartment in the center: in this case the first thing to do will be to visit the websites of different real estate agencies to look for solutions that meet your needs. Calculate exactly your budget and the amount of the advance. Open a deposit account in which to allocate the money for the deposit, then start saving. Build your creditworthiness by paying your debts and bills on time
Step 3. Mentally visualize when you will achieve success
Several studies have shown that visualization techniques can contribute to better results. There are two main forms of visualization: one related to the process, the other to the final result. Use both to have a better chance of achieving your goals.
- Visualize the result: imagine yourself getting what you want. Make the image as detailed and concrete as possible. Dwell on the intensity of your positive emotions, the moments when people congratulate you, the feeling of pride and happiness.
- Visualize the process: Imagine the steps you need to take to pursue your goal. For example, if you want to start a small business of your own, view every action you are about to take to achieve that result. Create an image of yourself as you prepare your business plan, apply for that new business loan, promote your project with investors, etc.
- Visualizing the process helps the brain "gather potential memories". Psychologists say that thanks to this technique you will feel that you have a better chance of success since to some extent your brain will already have the feeling that it has achieved it.
Step 4. Make a list of your goals
Reread it daily. Mentally reiterate them no less than once a day. Go through your list when you wake up in the morning and again before bedtime. Evaluate what you have done today to get closer to each single goal.
When you reach one of the goals listed, don't just delete it. Move it to a second list, the one dedicated to "goals achieved". Sometimes we focus on what we have not achieved by forgetting all that we have achieved. Keep this other list handy too, it will be a great source of motivation
Step 5. Ask for directions
Find a mentor or someone who can guide you having already walked the same steps as you. His advice will help you not to make the same mistakes and to have a broader view on what to do. Consult with your mentor regularly, listening to his or her suggestions carefully.
More complex subjects should not be studied on a self-taught basis. Just like in school, it's easier to let yourself be guided by a teacher who knows the right formula for success. He will be able to explain to you how you can overcome obstacles and will be happy to celebrate with you when you have reached your goal. A good mentor will be just as proud of your positive results as you are
Part 3 of 3: Going Through the Process
Step 1. Learn to recognize the "false hope syndrome"
You most likely understand the meaning of this expression if you have ever compiled a list of New Year's resolutions. Psychologists describe this syndrome by dividing it into three phases: 1) give oneself a goal, 2) be surprised to realize that it is not so easy to achieve, 3) give up.
- The false hope syndrome occurs especially when we expect our every action to guarantee immediate results. For example, if the desired goal is to "improve fitness", after two weeks of exercise we may feel disappointed because we do not yet see any visible benefits. Establishing precise deadlines can help not create unrealistic expectations.
- The same syndrome can present itself when the initial enthusiasm decreases. The goal of "learning to play the guitar" might get you excited at first, when you can choose and buy a new instrument, learn the first chords, and so on. Soon after, though, the time will come to practice every day, to get comfortable with chord progression, to endure the formation of calluses, and that's when you may lose momentum. Setting intermediate goals and celebrating every little success can help you stay energized and motivated.
Step 2. Consider challenges as opportunities to learn
The results of the studies carried out show that people who are able to treat problems as experiences that help them grow tend to have more confidence in their chances of success. If you view challenges, difficulties or mistakes as "failures", blaming yourself at every opportunity, you risk focusing solely on the past rather than making all the effort to move forward.
- Research findings also show that people who manage to achieve their goals did not face fewer obstacles than those who gave up. The difference is in how the former judge mishaps. Remember that every impediment is an opportunity to learn how to do better next time.
- Often, even chasing perfectionism brings with it the disadvantage of not being able to consider mistakes as opportunities to improve ourselves. When you set unattainable standards, you increase the chances of failing to make your dreams come true.
- Try to be understanding with yourself. Don't forget that, as a human being, you tend to make mistakes and face numerous challenges every day.
- Positive thinking technique is known to help people learn from their mistakes and accept their flaws rather than being blocked by them. The next time you find yourself blaming yourself for an outcome that you consider a failure, remember that you can learn from any experience, no matter how unpleasant it may be right now.
Step 3. Give credit to every win
Much of achieving a goal is a matter of perception. Celebrate even the smallest wins. If you want to get an eight on your math report card, celebrate every time you get a good grade on a test. If you want to become a lawyer, celebrate every step that brings you closer to your goal, such as being accepted into law school, passing an exam, being admitted to the bar, and finally finding a job.
- Celebrate each intermediate stage. Some goals will take years of hard work. Recognize and reward yourself for the time you spent pursuing your dreams. Learning takes commitment and a lot of practice. Feel proud of the many efforts made.
- Celebrate even the most modest successes. For example, if your goal is to "eat a healthier diet" and you have been able to turn down a piece of cake, congratulate yourself on your willpower.
Step 4. Keep the passion alive
Whatever your goal, there is a reason you have decided to pursue it. This is something you want to achieve for your future. Let yourself be guided by passion, reminding yourself which is the final destination you want to reach can give you the strength you need to overcome difficult or less pleasant moments. Sometimes, to cross a high goal it is essential to take the most difficult path.
Step 5. Rework your goals when needed
Sometimes life brings with it unexpected events, which force us to change our initial plans. Don't be afraid to reconsider what you have previously decided by formulating a new strategy. In some cases, you may even find that you have lost interest in a goal that you once considered important.
- Running into obstacles is inevitable, so you shouldn't automatically give up on pursuing your goals. Try to understand the reasons for this impediment. Is it something you can control or not? Act accordingly.
- Evaluate new opportunities. Some of the most beautiful events in life occur in a completely unexpected way. Embrace new opportunities if they can help you progress to your final destination or if they offer you the opportunity to set new or better goals.
Step 6. Insist
Take note of every little success you achieve. Each positive result serves to improve your self-esteem because it shows that you have been able to achieve the goals you have set for yourself. Recall all your past successes when you run into difficulties.
- Remember that difficulties do not imply failure. Author J. K. Rowling, who wrote the Harry Potter series of novels, had her work rejected twelve consecutive times before finding a publisher willing to trust her. The teacher of the famous inventor Thomas Edison told him that he was "too stupid to learn anything". Oprah Winfrey lost her first job as a television reporter because she was deemed "unsuitable for TV".
- In some cases it is the negative opinion of others that gives us the strength to pursue our goals and see our dreams come true.
