For many younger girls it can be difficult to find a guy their age who is mature and distinguished enough to be worth their time. While it can be a great experience dating someone a few years older, know that an older boyfriend is looking for something else than a guy your age. Since you are a few years apart, it can be quite a challenge to seduce an older man.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Evaluating the Reasons That Drive You to Attend it
Step 1. Ask yourself why you want an older boyfriend
There are many reasons why you might want a relationship with a guy a few years older than you. We tend to consider older people to be more sophisticated and mature. Most of the time that's true, but that's not always the case. Some of them, in fact, are as immature as they were when they were young.
Step 2. Make sure you want a relationship for the right reasons
You should try to establish a romantic relationship with a person because you feel a real connection with them. There's no point in dating an older guy because you think you'll look smarter that way. So, before committing to a relationship, you need to feel absolutely ready, especially if you are looking to date someone older than you.
Step 3. Consider how the age difference might affect the relationship
If two people are in different stages of their life, it is possible that communication problems may arise. For example, while you want to go to a party with your older boyfriend, he may be going through a time in his life when, considering he has had enough fun, he prefers to spend an evening at home. In some cases, it can be difficult to feel a sense of equality in a romantic relationship when one person has more life experiences than the other. Therefore, be aware of these potential problems before getting engaged.
On the other hand, some argue that age is just a question of numbers. There is no real reason why people of different ages cannot bond on a deeper level
Step 4. Prepare for criticism
If there is a noticeable age difference between you and your boyfriend, you need to prepare yourself for a number of problems that you wouldn't normally have thought of. Even if your relationship is perfect, other people may make bad assumptions about a relationship characterized by the age gap. There is not much that can be done to dismiss these clichés. Ultimately, it's about your relationship, not theirs, so you don't have to be influenced by others' perspectives.
If you are under the age of 18, you should consider the legal consequences that those older than you might face. If the age difference is so huge that it creates legal problems in the case of sexual intercourse, avoid going all the way
Part 2 of 4: Interacting with Him
Step 1. First, become his friend
Theoretically, when you have the intention of establishing a serious relationship, you should try to forge a friendship before a feeling of love arises. Do whatever it takes to spend your time with him. Ask him out as you normally would with a friend. If there is harmony and you are emotionally predisposed, there is a good chance that over time, things will start to take their turn. In the meantime, however, you should simply enjoy your outings as mere friends.
Step 2. Let him take the lead
Unless the boy in question is exceptionally shy, despite being a few years older than you, it is not so absurd to think that, thanks to his life experiences, he is the one to take the first step. Some men may feel self-conscious instead of being resourceful, especially with women younger than themselves.
If he seems too shy to make the first move, consider taking the initiative. Therefore, do not hesitate if he has reported his interest to you, but has not come forward during your meetings
Step 3. Treat him as an equal
It can be a difficult task for anyone looking to seduce older guys. Although instinctively you may feel completely overwhelmed by him, this will only show your age. Instead, try to put the age factor aside when interacting with him. If it makes you feel more comfortable, pretend it is the same age as you. Usually, for a relationship to continue successfully, a certain balance needs to be found.
Step 4. Look him in the eye
Eye contact is a very powerful and important ingredient in non-verbal communication, especially when flirting. If you're attracted to a guy, you can convey a lot of things to him just by looking him in the eye and holding his gaze. Courtship involves an endless array of behaviors, but most of the time it begins with constant eye contact.
If accompanied by a few smiles, it's even better. In this way, you will communicate to the guy in front of you that there is nothing to fear in your eyes, but that you are motivated by very good reasons
Step 5. Smile at him
Smiles are a universal language that conveys warmth and affection. If you smile at the guy you're interested in, he'll reciprocate by communicating positive feelings to you. If he notices that you are smiling at him and reacts in the same way, it is very likely that he is interested in you.
Step 6. Give him some compliments
Emphasizing some positive side can be interpreted as a form of courtship. By complimenting him on his appearance or a character trait that you find attractive, you will let him know that you care. Of course, make sure it's sincere. People are usually able to tell when a compliment doesn't come from the heart.
Step 7. Try to respect your limits
Since the guy you like is older than you, it is possible that he has different ideas about what he wants from a relationship with a woman. If on the one hand you feel compelled to give in, on the other you should only do what makes you comfortable.
Part 3 of 4: Growing and Maturing
Step 1. Start dating people older than you
It can be difficult to emotionally connect with people older than yours if you are not used to being with them. This is why it is best to try to surround yourself with people who are a few years older. Make friends with people who are in the same age range as your boyfriend so you don't have a hard time hanging out with people who are more experienced than you. It can be difficult if you don't have older friends. However, if you have siblings who are a few years older than you, you may want to try joining them when they go out.
If you intend to befriend older kids, you won't be able to continue to depend on your classmates. Extracurricular activities, such as sports, are a great way to get to know people of different ages who have interests in common. If you work, there will likely be bigger collaborators you can get to know more about
Step 2. Complete everything you propose to do
Reliability is a quality that belongs to mature people. Regardless of the age of the guy you're trying to win over, it will benefit you if people can think of you as a girl of your word. If you promise something, do everything you can to keep your intentions true. Don't upset your plans. When words are followed by facts, everything you say will acquire a greater weight in the eyes of others, even those of the guy you like.
Step 3. Be proud of yourself
Self-esteem is an important indicator of maturity. It is natural to feel insecure during adolescence. If you want to grab the attention of an older boy, you will need to achieve the degree of confidence that characterizes his age. Challenge any negative thoughts that cross your mind and banish them, convincing yourself that you are a nice person. Even if you have to pretend at first, eventually you will begin to really believe it.
Remember that there is no right or wrong way to gain self-esteem. There is no objectively wrong reason to have self-confidence
Step 4. Keep a journal
By writing your thoughts and the emotions you experience daily in a diary, you have the opportunity to embark on a journey to discover yourself. If you get used to updating it regularly, you will be surprised at how you can understand many sides of your character. Buy a lined notebook or open a Word file on your computer to enter your thoughts at the end of the day. If you become aware of what you think and feel from day to day, you will also be able to understand how other people see you.
Step 5. Forget about envy
If you want to prove that you are a mature girl, in addition to gaining self-confidence, you will have to put behind your past envy of other people. During adolescence, people tend to be very envious. If you want to stand out from your peers, you will have to let go of the envy of others. It is certainly easier said than done, but not impossible. Whenever you start feeling this, remember that no one is better than you. It is a waste of time to compare yourself to others.
Step 6. Avoid maligning friends and being melodramatic
Even if you are trying to become a more mature person than your age, you will likely have some difficulty in breaking free from the way of thinking that is typical of your current circle of friends. Often, when one is childish, among friends one indulges in melodramatic demonstrations or gossip. The best thing to do is to avoid these kinds of people altogether, as they do not add anything constructive to your life nor will you make a great impression if you are associated with them.
This does not mean that you have to abandon your friendships. Rather, keep dating them, but step back if the squabbles start. Of course, if a friend is sick and wants to talk to you, don't hesitate. Being mature also means being a reliable friend
Part 4 of 4: Looking Your Best
Step 1. Try a new haircut
Nothing better than a new hairstyle will attract people's attention. A new hairstyle or perm will revolutionize your appearance. You should use this opportunity to improve it and get people's attention. If you are looking to break through with a group of older kids, you will need to step away from fashion trends aimed at younger subjects. Choose an attractive, yet classy hairstyle.
It wouldn't be a bad idea to choose a haircut that suits your face shape. Ask the hairdresser for advice if you are confused
Step 2. Dress to match your age group's trends
Depending on how old you are, some clothes you wear may seem childish to an older person. While basically when it comes to fashion you should always follow your tastes, it can be easier to impress a guy with a few years older if you pay attention to the aesthetic sense that characterizes his age.
- If you are several years apart, do not dress according to the trends of your generation, otherwise you could elicit strange comments from your peers.
- It might be worth taking a look at the fashion department stores. This way you will have some insight into the latest trends.
Step 3. Don't overdo the makeup
If you are a young girl, don't try to make up for the age difference by using heavy makeup. In this way the gap will be even more pronounced. Also, you will give the impression that you are unsure of your appearance. You'll have a better chance of getting a guy if you stay true to yourself. A little makeup to bring out your natural features will be more than enough.
As a matter of fact, younger girls are not as skilled at wearing makeup as they will be as adults. In light of this, it would be better not to overdo it and slowly begin to discover the best way to bring out the features of your face
Step 4. Convey confidence through posture
Regardless of gender or age, bearing is an important aspect of expressing confidence and being attractive in the eyes of those around us. Whether you are standing or sitting, try to keep your back straight and shoulders at the same height. If you are not used to having a correct posture, it will seem a bit strange at first, but in the end it will be natural if you do not give up.
Maturity and confidence are the main ingredients to overcome any age difference, while bearing is a way to express these qualities
Advice
- In many ways, when you want to seduce an older guy, you can follow the same principles that are used to win over a peer who is equally interested in you. Core qualities, such as kindness and a sense of humor, do not go out of style at any age.
- Relationships where there is an age difference should be treated like any other romantic relationship.
Warnings
- Nothing can ever guarantee that a relationship between two people will work or not.
- Don't show interest in anyone other than the guy you like. If you show the same involvement with various male subjects, you will be regarded as a grin and it will be more difficult to get people to take you seriously.
- An age gap within a relationship can be controversial and could draw criticism from friends and family. If you really care about your relationship, don't let this risk hold you back, but be prepared just in case.
- The situation could become more complicated the older the boy you intend to conquer.
