It is not always possible to avoid a conflict, but that does not mean that the conflict itself cannot be resolved. The next time you have an argument with someone, first take a deep breath and try to calm down a little, then focus on how to effectively manage the conflict with the person in front of you. Follow these steps to effectively resolve the dispute.
Steps
Step 1. Stay calm
As soon as you realize that you are starting to argue with someone, try to suggest that you and your opponent take some time to freshen up, and then try to agree with them a time and place to discuss and resolve the conflict..
Step 2. Make a list of your concerns
Before meeting with the other person, sit down and write down exactly what you think led to the fight, as this may help you resolve the conflict later.
Step 3. Allow the other person to speak
You will certainly be able to explain all your points, but be sure to let the other person speak so that they explain their concerns. Let your interlocutor speak, even if you disagree, because interrupting him will only result in aggravating the conflict.
Step 4. Ask questions
If you don't understand the other person's points, then ask him further questions. Make an effort to wait until there is a pause in the conversation, so that you can be sure that the other person is done explaining their reasons, and that you don't think you are just interrupting them.
Step 5. Be creative
Try to think of all possible solutions on how to fix the problem. Both of you should try to thoroughly analyze the reasons for your conflict before you meet, and then again when you meet and start the discussion. In order to effectively resolve the conflict, let your debate go in any direction, as long as this does not negatively heat the situation.
Step 6. Take breaks
If you feel that one of you, or both of you, is getting too emotional, feel free to take as many breaks as necessary. Take your time if your tone of voice happens to be getting too loud - before one of you says something too offensive.
Step 7. Try not to speak through denials
Focus on the positive instead of saying things like "can't", "can't", "can't do", "can't do", or too many "no". Negative words will only make the conflict more difficult to resolve.
Step 8. Be aware of your emotions
If you feel that you are getting angry, take a break or try to find a way to calm down. Take any kind of break before making the mistake of saying something you might regret.
Step 9. Find a compromise
In many conflicts, never one of the two people is completely in the wrong, so try to find a compromise that can satisfy both.
Step 10. Try to find something you can agree on
You may find yourself facing a conflict that cannot be resolved with just a single discussion. Try to find some part of the topic you are discussing that you can both agree on, and come back to the heart of the matter later. Indeed, more than one discussion may be needed to effectively resolve the conflict.
Advice
- If you are wrong, don't be afraid to say you're sorry.
- If you love this person, don't ridicule them to feel better or to "protect yourself".
- Stay in control of your emotions and behavior. Communicate your needs without threatening or frightening others.
