An identity crisis can occur at any age and in any set of circumstances, yet it is always disconcerting, whatever the conditions. How we perceive ourselves is vital to our happiness and when that perception cracks, it can be devastating. Learning to regain one's identity can help overcome an existential crisis and regain serenity.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Finding Out Who You Are
Step 1. Find your identity
The search for one's identity occurs more frequently during adolescence. Many kids put themselves to the test by playing the role of various characters and confronting different values from those with which they grew up. This attitude plays an important role during growth and, without such research, as adults there is the risk of finding oneself with an identity matured with little awareness. If you have never faced this path in your life, by trying your hand now you have the opportunity to take an important step to solve your identity crisis.
- Reflect on the qualities and characteristics that define you as you are today.
- Examine your values. What is most important to you? What principles determine how you live? How were they formed and how did they influence the choice of those values?
- Evaluate whether the qualities and values that belong to you have changed over the course of your life or have remained nearly the same. Whether they have changed or not, analyze why it happened.
Step 2. Identify what is critical to you
It happens sometimes to feel adrift. When this happens, it is important to understand what are the cornerstones on which your daily life rests. For many people, relationships with others are the most important. Friends, relatives, colleagues and partners all form a network of relationships that we choose to surround ourselves with.
- Think about the relationships you care about. How did these relationships shape you, for better or for worse?
- Now think about why these relationships are important to you. Why do you choose to surround yourself with certain people?
- If interpersonal relationships don't matter to you, think about the reason behind it. Are you a person who is not interested in getting to know others? Do you appreciate this feature of yours or would you rather modify it?
- Ask yourself honestly if you would be the same person without the relationships you have had throughout your life.
Step 3. Examine your interests
In addition to relationships with others, personal interests are often what help people have a certain balance in their life. Whether you realize it or not, interpersonal relationships, passions, and hobbies probably take up most of your free time, in addition to work or school commitments. Maybe the choice of certain interests depends on your personality and your subjectivity, or maybe your perception of yourself has shaped around those interests. In both cases, the latter are essential to fully understand who you are.
- Think about how you spend your free time. Which interests or hobbies do you devote the most time and energy to?
- Now consider why these interests are important to you. Have you always had them? Did they accompany you from an early age or have you started growing them recently? Why did you undertake to deepen them?
- Ask yourself honestly if you would still be the same person without these interests.
Step 4. Imagine how you could show the best part of yourself in the future
To have a more confident perception of yourself and gain more confidence in who you want to be, imagine what you would be like in the future if you developed the best part of yourself. This exercise leads you to examine who you are today. Then imagine and write how you could work to bring out the best part of you, so that it fully pervades your personality.
- Find about twenty minutes to perform this visualization exercise.
- Imagine your life in the near future, focusing on those aspects that could prove to be the most beneficial.
- Write down the details of what you have imagined about yourself.
- Think about how your vision of yourself could turn into reality. Remember the future you have imagined at any time in your life you feel hindered or cluttered, and use it to focus on yourself.
Part 2 of 4: Recovering from a Loss or Change
Step 1. Review your life
It can be devastating to suffer a loss or a change, but it is an opportunity that allows us to evaluate who we are and what we are doing. It is very likely that today's goals and dreams are different than they were five or ten years ago, and you may not be able to see the changes that have occurred over time due to habits and various circumstances.
- Whenever you experience a loss or sudden change, use it as an opportunity to reexamine and reevaluate your life. For example, many see the passing of a loved one as something that wakes them up and leads them to behave differently or stop putting off long-term goals. Losing a job can also be a wake-up call to finding a job that increases happiness and personal satisfaction.
- Ask yourself sincerely if your current personal goals and values are the same as they used to be. If not, find a way to integrate new goals and values into your life.
Step 2. Open up to change
Many people are afraid of change, especially if it is a rather important turning point that seems to alter the balance of their life. However, change is not always a bad thing: in fact, it is normal and healthy for situations to evolve; some experts advise that anyone going through a phase of change should adapt and change their identity instead of opposing an inevitable evolution.
- Ask yourself if, in ten or twenty years, you will regret not having taken the opportunity to try something new or to do something differently.
- Give yourself the opportunity to go through a self-discovery process. Try to understand what you want most in life and find a way to achieve that goal by working hard.
- When you imagine yourself in the future, don't forget that that person is always you. Don't expect to become a different individual. Rather, this visualization will make you wiser and more aware of who you are now, without moving away from your inner self.
Step 3. Learn more about your options
Some people, when fired or otherwise lose their jobs, can go through an identity crisis and don't know what to do or how to pick up the pieces. Some experts suggest that to better cope with the loss of a beloved job, you need to consider other options, trying to do the same job in a different context.
- Consider working as a freelancer within the same industry. It may not be your ideal business, but it will allow you to continue working in a field you enjoy and rediscover a purpose.
- Try building a network of contacts. Some job positions are communicated only within one sector, to other employees. This is why it can be extremely useful to build a network of contacts with other professionals in your field of work. It opens the door to new opportunities that you might otherwise miss and can make you feel part of a larger community of professionals animated by a shared vision.
- Learn new habits that help you get where you want to go. By doing the same things you've been doing for years, you probably won't be able to go down different paths, so work hard to make the necessary changes.
Part 3 of 4: Finding a Purpose
Step 1. Live by your values
Your values are fundamental to the person you are. They lead you to shape your identity in various ways. One of the simplest ways to find a purpose in life is to always integrate within it the values you consider important.
- If kindness and understanding are part of your values, find ways to be kind and understanding every day.
- If faith is one of your values, profess your religion regularly.
- If nurturing a sense of community is one of your values, make friends with your neighbors and try to arrange a meeting a month to get together.
Step 2. Do something you are passionate about
If you're passionate about your job, your happiness will depend on it. If you don't like it, that's not a problem - you just have to find something that excites you outside of the workplace. Having something engaging can help you feel more satisfied and give you a purpose to pursue.
- Start doing what you enjoy and make you happy (as long as it doesn't endanger you and is legitimate). There is no reason to put off what excites you most. Many people find ways to cultivate their passions by doing a job in full autonomy. You have to work hard, but you can leave by finding the time to do what makes you happy.
- If there's nothing you're passionate about right now, find something else. Analyze your values as a whole to orient yourself on something that could bring joy to your life. Alternatively, pursue a new hobby. Learn to play a musical instrument, take a class, or go to a hobby store and ask an employee for suggestions for starting a manual job.
Step 3. Go outdoors
Some people find that spending some time outdoors gives them a sense of fulfillment. There are also therapeutic treatments that use outdoor activities, such as hiking and camping, to help people overcome psychological problems and addictions.
Search the Internet to find parks and trails near your home. You just have to make sure you follow all necessary precautions and bring someone with you if you are new to the area or are a beginner
Step 4. Get in touch with your spirituality
Religion is not for everyone and it is not certain that anyone can find the purpose of their life there. However, some believe that faith and attendance in a religious community are useful for feeling in tune with something that is outside of them. Even non-religious practices based on a certain spiritual involvement, such as classical meditation and mindfulness meditation, have been shown to have positive effects on people's psychological well-being.
- Try using meditation to feel more balanced. Focus on something, such as thinking about your person, achieving self-perception or finding your life purpose. Then focus on your breathing, ignoring all the thoughts that condition your mind from the outside. Breathe through your nostrils and think about the sensation of the air coming in and out. Continue in this way for as long as you like and try to extend the session each time you meditate.
- Using the web, he studies the various religions present in the world. Each faith has a number of values and principles, some of which may match yours.
- Talk to believing friends or family members. They are likely to have a broader view and could help you examine the practices and beliefs of various religions if this topic interests you.
Part 4 of 4: Strengthening Your Identity
Step 1. Work on your reports
Friends, family and partners are all points of reference for most people. A strong bond with family or friends can also help you feel more stable from an identity point of view and offer a sense of belonging.
- Call or email friends and / or family. Contact the people you hang out with often as well as those you see from time to time.
- Let friends and family know that you care about them and would like to spend more time together.
- Invite them to have coffee, eat out, see a movie in the cinema, grab a drink or go on an adventure together. By dedicating time and energy to building stronger relationships, you will be able to feel happier and more confident in the way you perceive yourself.
Step 2. Find ways to grow personally
If you find that religion, athletics, philosophy, art, travel or any other passion satisfies you and makes you grow, follow what is most important to you. Let yourself be shaped and modified by giving in to your passions. Recognize that what appeals to you is worth taking pleasure in, and seek to enrich your life by cultivating these interests on a daily or weekly basis.
Step 3. Commit to achieving your goals
A great way to feel satisfied is to receive recognition and achieve achievements in the professional field. Regardless of what you do, if you work hard to do your homework well, you will make well-deserved profits. While there is of course a lot more to life than working, a career helps strengthen us and gives us purpose.
