Winning a conflict at work is impossible. Winning a conflict means getting the result that 'you' want, regardless of what 'other' people want. If the problem has not been solved, it will simply recur later. So it is much better to resolve a labor conflict than to overcome it. Unresolved conflicts make people unhappy at work and can lead to antagonism, disrupt communication, make work groups inefficient, lead to stress and lower productivity. Here are the main steps for resolving a workplace conflict.
Steps
Step 1. Understand that workplace conflicts are inevitable
Whenever people commit and get fired, or when changes occur and new ideas emerge, conflicts and disagreements easily arise. This does not mean that you have to rejoice in conflict or create problems just for the sake of it, but that when conflict arises it is not the end of the world. It could be the beginning of an interesting learning process. Conflicts are the signal that people are involved enough to strongly disagree with a certain situation. The trick is not to allow the conflict to last forever.
Step 2. Manage conflicts before and not after
Resolve a conflict as soon as it starts, or it will get worse over time. Conflicts at work do not emerge from something that "has been said" but from what "has not been" said! Everyone expects others to admit they are wrong and the more time passes, the more unpleasant the situation can become. Stopping the "waiting game" is necessary to prevent it from getting to this point.
Step 3. Request kindly.
If someone has done something that upset you, or if you don't understand their point of view or behavior, "asking" can make a difference. Never assume that people do things to annoy you. Sometimes there can be a good reason that that person behaves in a certain way (even if it is something that really bothers you) and that way you can eliminate a possible conflict right away. Ask a question directly - a question, not an accusation: say "I was wondering why you did 'X' yesterday", or "I noticed you often do 'Y'. Why?". "Why the hell you always do 'Z'!" is a less constructive sentence.
Step 4. Invite the other person to talk about the situation
A conversation that takes place in a hurry, at your desk, between emails and phone calls solves nothing. You need a place where no one disturbs you and enough time to deal with the situation.
Step 5. Observe
Analyze what you see in a neutral and objective way. This is the time when you describe the facts as objectively as possible. What is happening? When and how is it happening? What does the other person do and, equally importantly, what do you do? When analyzing these elements, you must evaluate only the observable facts and not draw conclusions or make assumptions about what the other person thinks or does: you can say, "I have noticed that you always criticize me in meetings" because this is a verifiable fact. You cannot say "I noticed that you have stopped respecting my ideas" because this assumes that you have drawn conclusions about the other person's behavior.
Step 6. Apologize
Apologize for your responsibility in the conflict. Usually everyone involved has a share of responsibility for creating and continuing the conflict. Remember: you are not taking full responsibility, you are taking responsibility for what you have done to contribute to this situation.
Step 7. Appreciation
Praise the other party involved in the conflict. Tell him why you think it is important to fix it. This may be difficult, as few find it easy to be able to praise and appreciate a person with whom they strongly disagree, but it is a great way to overcome the situation.
Step 8. Identify the consequences
How has the conflict affected you and the company? What's the problem? Identifying the consequences of the conflict brings to light the reasons why it is important to resolve it. It also helps the participants to look within themselves, observing the conflict "from the outside".
Step 9. Define a goal
What can be a satisfying result? Setting a goal is essential for both parties to know what they want to achieve. This makes the final result much more enjoyable.
Step 10. Request
Ask for specific actions to be implemented immediately. For example: "My proposal is to introduce a new rule: in meetings, when someone makes a proposal and the other disagrees, we start by saying which aspects of that idea are positive and then which ones could be improved., should we start attacking each other like we always have, I suggest that everyone apologize and talk about it privately, rather than in front of the whole group. to evaluate together how it went? What do you think?"
Step 11. Find a mediation
Some conflicts cannot be resolved by the participants themselves and a mediator can be of help. Mediation involves a neutral third party who specializes in mediation, who is experienced and trusted by the people involved in the conflict. A good mediator will help the litigants find their own solution, will not provide any advice, and will not push towards any specific solution.
Pay attention to the broker you choose. The mediator (or mediators) should be someone with a specific training in mediation, have a lot of experience in mediation and have already dealt with mediation under someone else's supervision. Otherwise it could do more damage than anything else.
Step 12. Consult a lawyer
Some conflicts involve frictions that have legal implications or that concern the legal sphere. Whistleblowers of internal violations should have legal protection and may face issues regardless of the existing hierarchy. If the conflict results from a fraud to get money from the government, the whistleblower may need to follow special procedures to protect their rights. The False Testimony Act requires the whistleblower who discovered the fraud to file the report, and not disclose certain information to the public.
Advice
- Inviting the other person to discuss the topic may be the hardest part of the whole process. This first step can be really tough. Do it anyway!
- There is no guarantee that the method described here will resolve the employment conflict. It may or may not. But even if it doesn't work, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you've tried. You will have been able to look at the conflict in a detached way, trying to transform it in a positive and constructive way. Nobody will be able to ask you to do more.
- Regardless of what happens, stay optimistic. This helps.
- Even if it is difficult to do this, it is good to arrive at the meeting with your colleagues ready to listen carefully to other people. Likewise, ask others to listen to you respectfully without interrupting you.
- To further clarify a disagreement, one technique you can use is to have the other write a list of conflicts and problems on a blackboard. Sit silently while the other person explains each point. When the person is done, go back to the list and repeat the points in your own words, as accurately as possible. This way, the person will know that you have listened and understood. Then write "your" list and do the same process but reversing the roles. Usually being clear during a conflict makes it easier to find a common solution.
- Information on how to handle particular conflicts due to a passive-aggressive colleague can be found at.
- Information on laws protecting whistleblowers is at:
- More information on passive aggression can be found here:
