Arguing with a partner, family member, or colleague can help explain, help, destroy, or harm. Most people agree that conflicts are exhausting. If you're trying to avoid them, there are some things you can do right away to stop and prevent a fight.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Ending a Quarrel
Step 1. Be aware of the other person's problems
If she caused the fight or reacted irrationally to your concerns, tell her. For example, you might say, "I realize this question is really important to you," or, "I know you think my idea isn't good at all, but I think it is."
If the quarrel starts to heat up or escalates quickly, get out of the situation. Tell the other person that you need a break before you start arguing again
Step 2. Calmly discuss your concerns
Make the conversation as emotionally balanced as you can, without yelling or blaming each other. Instead, express your arguments concisely and precisely. It will be easier for the other person to respond to specific cases rather than simplifications or generic accusations.
While it may be difficult, limit the conflict to one or two main issues. The fight shouldn't turn into a confrontation involving every single flaw in your relationship or friendship
Step 3. Give the other party a chance to speak
This means that you should actively listen to what he says. Don't try to catch the weaknesses in his reasoning or argument. Instead, listen to what he is really trying to tell you, whether or not it is what you want to hear.
Don't rush the other person when they are talking. Allowing her to raise her concerns at her own pace will make her feel respected and listened to
Step 4. Answer her with respect
If you disagree with what she is saying, justify her concerns instead of arguing with her. Before answering, it may be helpful to take a few moments to collect your thoughts. This way you will avoid unintentionally saying something that could hurt her. For example, you might say, "Now I understand why you are so upset."
Meeting her halfway will make her feel more likely to react positively to your thoughts
Step 5. Work on body language
This is just as important as avoiding yelling, cursing or insulting. Employ body language that suggests a willingness to communicate, for example by keeping your arms open and a relaxed posture. Good eye contact is also a key element of effective communication.
Avoid defensive postures, such as crossing your arms, pointing fingers, hiding your hands, or avoiding eye contact. These are all signs of a lack of willingness to dialogue
Step 6. Use humor
Don't think that a debate must necessarily take on a serious tone. If you can take this point of view and you think the other person is receptive enough, you can say a line or two. This will ease the tension and let her know that you are not being defensive or taking things personally.
Never make a joke against the other person. It will only make the conflict worse
Method 2 of 3: Preventing Conflicts
Step 1. Continue to be a good listener
Never stubbornly cling to an opinion. Instead, always listen carefully to what the other person thinks or has to say. If it refers to something that worries you, take it seriously and respond, or apologize.
Listening actively and responding to the interlocutor will make general communication easier
Step 2. Avoid having to always be right
This attitude is a great source of conflict. Try to get rid of the need to always be right. Instead, learn to go with the flow and communicate without worrying about who is "wrong" or "right".
At first it may be difficult for you to get rid of this temptation; however, you may find that your stress level is lowered. Without the need to always be right, you can begin to appreciate things and respect the other person
Step 3. If it is a relationship conflict, take some time to be alone
Sometimes being with the same person for too long can get stressful. Giving yourself some solitude could be a break and can help reduce tension and make you appreciate each other more during your time together.
Spending time with your friends can improve your mental attitude, making you more positive and likable. Your partner or your partner may also need some time to be themselves with their friends
Step 4. Put yourself in the other person's shoes
This will improve your empathy and awareness of what she is going through. Don't wait for a fight to consider what's happening to her. Instead, try to regularly understand his problems and joys. This will make you feel more in tune and less in conflict.
Step 5. Schedule important discussions
If something starts to worry you, plan how you will communicate it to the other person. Determine what you will say, as well as how and when you will do it. Speak concisely and precisely.
Avoid raising issues in the excitement of the moment or without having previously thought about it. If you did, you are more likely to end up blaming the other person, reacting emotionally, and sparking an argument
Step 6. Seek counseling or mediation
If you find that you are still having trouble dealing with conflicts, go for help. Ask the other person if they are willing to undergo psychological therapy or seek mediation. If you don't want to, consider seeing a counselor on your own. While this decision may not solve all of your problems, you may still learn how to react and feel better about the situation you are experiencing.
Method 3 of 3: Preventing Conflicts in the Workplace
Step 1. React to problems before they turn into fights
If you start having a problem with a co-worker, start fixing the situation immediately. Don't wait for the matter to clear up on its own; otherwise, it could get worse and turn into a conflict.
Waiting and lingering before solving a problem only makes it worse. Before you even know it, the issue could take on much larger proportions and become considerably more difficult to resolve
Step 2. Resolve the matter in person
A face-to-face meeting is a respectful way of dealing with problems, especially when compared to an exchange of emails or messages. When communicating electronically, it is much easier to say something offensive or argumentative.
In case you need to communicate electronically, be aware of the tone and choice of words you use, since the meaning of what you say cannot be interpreted with the help of body language and gestures
Step 3. Choose your battles
This is well known advice. Often, in a workplace that hosts many people, conflict is inevitable. Daily disputes, squabbles and arguments can arise from a multitude of issues. You need to determine what is important to you and your job. Resolve conflicts before they can harm your occupation and work environment.
Smaller problems can be mere annoyances. Learn to ignore these minor issues before they start piling up and causing you worry
Step 4. Resolve the differences completely
Don't let the problems persist. Even if you addressed the problem as soon as it arose, you also need to make sure that you are happy with the solution. Make sure that you and your colleague respect each other and are both happy with the conflict ending.
Remember that you will need to maintain a professional relationship with the other person. As soon as the matter has been resolved, get rid of it. Don't mull over past problems; otherwise, they will continue to affect your working relationship
Step 5. Rely on the help of a mediator
Don't be afraid to ask the human resources department for assistance. Sometimes, the presence of third parties can ease tension and reduce the emotional charge of a conflict.
