It is not easy to start a romantic relationship. With the myriad of dating apps and romantic novels with subsequent film adaptations, it's hard not to be negatively influenced by the vast difference between expectations and reality of modern romance. While it may scare you, there are still ways to feel genuine and genuine interest in a potential partner.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Becoming Friends
Step 1. Express your interest sincerely
As the saying goes, there are a lot of fish in the sea, that is, each person has a lot of potential partners. So right from the start, you'll need to understand why you care about spending time with a particular person. It is often best not to think too much about an "date" in the early stages. Don't rush too much, as all relationships must be based on honest communication and a friendly interest in the other person.
If you often see the girl you like in public, for example at school or in your neighborhood, always say hello to her. Talking more or less with her can help you find common interests. Plus, it's a nice way to bond with someone before moving on to talk about dating. Don't be scared; be yourself and show her that you care about talking to her
Step 2. Speak confidently
If you think you will fail, it probably will. Try not to be too nervous and not to speak in a high-pitched voice; your tone would suggest that you are not convinced by your offer. If you have confidence in yourself, you will speak directly, without stammering or hesitating. This type of security is attractive and makes your interest very evident. Even if you get rejected, you will feel more confident the next time you ask a girl out.
However, if you show yourself arrogant, you will greatly limit your chances of success. There is a difference between feeling safe and assuming that she says yes. Don't be too arrogant; the honesty of your direct approach is more than enough to improve your chances
Step 3. Remember that you won't always get what you want
There are many reasons why a girl may turn down an invitation to go out with you. You shouldn't take her personally if she's not interested. You probably didn't do anything wrong. She may not want a relationship right now, or she may be dating someone else already.
Part 2 of 3: Switching from Friends to Boyfriends
Step 1. Don't rush
If you're just starting out with a girl, there's no reason to ask her out right away. If you appreciate her company, deepening your friendship by hanging out with her informally should still give you satisfaction. It will also be easier to stay friends if things don't go well. After all, you should accept the idea of staying friends if she doesn't want to go out with you.
If you already have mutual friends, be sure not to be swayed by their opinions. They have no way of knowing what exactly you feel. Even if their opinion is valid, only you and the girl will understand if your relationship can work
Step 2. Give her a compliment
Don't be too discreet. Tell her you like her necklace, her new haircut, or her sense of humor. Whichever feature you choose, be sure to be honest; no one wants to receive a fake compliment. If your words seem too forced, you may seem to be flattering her. Remember that the simplest appreciations are often the best.
Compliments on physical characteristics can work, but it may be more helpful for you to comment on a positive behavior you have seen them engage in. If you've noticed his compassion for others, try telling him. It is very difficult not to get a good result if you speak sincerely to someone about their personality or their moral compass
Step 3. Express sincere interest in his passions
When she talks to you about a topic she is passionate about, you should be excited and want to know more. Keep asking questions and digging deeper. She will understand that you are interested and that you want to get to know her better.
- Not sure what she likes? Try asking her questions about those topics so you can find out. You have to get to know it in a short time and it won't be easy if you don't investigate thoroughly.
- If you don't really care what he says, it's a clear sign that you're not compatible. You may find her attractive and have a desire to go out with her, but if you don't have common interests, your future encounters are likely to be embarrassing and unpleasant.
Step 4. Be more sensitive
Since relationships require a great level of intimacy, it's in your best interest to start conversations where you show yourself most vulnerable as soon as possible. Don't be afraid to ask questions about her family or her insecurities, especially if she introduces the topic. You shouldn't have full responsibility for taking care of her, because your relationship is just starting. However, if you want to take it to the next level, it's a good idea to let her know that you are able to hear her sensitively.
- It's a good idea to try to figure out from the start if the girl seems independent enough to have a stable relationship with you. If it seems to you that she always needs someone to talk to, she may become too attached to you and lose her independence. Make sure you both feel comfortable alone. Your relationship will be healthier if you enjoy each other's company without losing the ability to be alone.
- The same goes for your interest in a potential partner. Make sure you have an interest in that person only and don't just want one person in your life to support you or be nice to you. The relationship will be much more authentic if it is based on the other person and not on your idea of them.
Step 5. Listen carefully
The inability to listen is one of the main reasons relationships fail. Nobody likes the feeling of not being understood and it certainly isn't in your best interest to be distracted during your first few conversations, or to just talk about yourself. Make sure you adopt some of the basic active listening techniques:
- Look her in the eye often and smile.
- Use interlayers and sounds to show your interest. Expressions like "Mhmm" and "Sure" can be much more useful than you think.
- Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. This not only shows that you are listening, but also that you would like to know more about the topic you are dealing with.
- Do not play with your hands or clothes. These little distractions can make her think that you are disinterested or unable to maintain a conversation.
Step 6. Find an opportunity to ask her a question about her future plans
This is the hard part and you will have to adopt a different strategy on a case-by-case basis. The hope is that during the conversation, you will talk about a common interest that you can turn into an exchange of contact information. Here are some examples:
- A song you mentioned. Tell her you'll send it to her on Facebook.
- A bar or restaurant that you both enjoy. Suggest that they go together and use that pretext to ask for her phone number.
- A hilarious YouTube video you told her about. Everyone loves to laugh, so you can send it to them and continue the conversation.
- The love you share for a team or a TV show. Offer to go to the stadium together or watch an episode.
- All of these options are ideal, but if no occasion comes your way, you can be more transparent and just ask for her number, saying you'd like to meet her for coffee or dinner. He will likely appreciate your direct approach.
Part 3 of 3: Arrange an Appointment
Step 1. Immediately send signals of interest
Nobody likes to wait too long. If you have time to write a message and want to arrange an appointment, you can do it right away. If she has given you her contact information, there is no reason to make her wait too long; write them later on the same day or maybe the next morning, to understand what the next step is. If you think you need to prepare or if you don't have time to compose the message, you can slow down.
Step 2. Don't take too long to respond
Being in too much of a hurry to make a date can seem overwhelming, but the opposite strategy is far worse for a future relationship. It is not easy to organize future plans, but it is even more so when one of the people involved does not react promptly.
- It won't help you spend too much time in limbo between informal texting and the first date. Since you've already made your move to a real date in person, don't waste too much time and energy trying to be brilliant about texting. Choose simple, straightforward sentences. This way, you can get some quality face-to-face time.
- There are situations in which you should make room for the other person. If the girl doesn't know what she's going to do on the weekend and tells you she needs to check her schedule, don't push too hard. People have busy lives and have to do a lot of business.
- Try not to think too much about strategy when texting over the phone or Facebook. Just because she hasn't answered you after two hours doesn't mean she's not interested in you. She may be feeling nervous about your first date. Anxiety may be preventing her from responding correctly to your message and she may not know what to say.
Step 3. Be flexible in your organization
If you already have a fixed idea of how the date will go, you will end up being disappointed. You may not have time to go out for dinner and go to the movies, but one dinner is more than enough for now. You should also accept her proposals, which will show that you are more interested in spending time with her than the logistics of the appointment.
Step 4. Remember he said yes
By giving you his contact information, he has already agreed to talk to you again. As a result, don't get frustrated with issues related to arranging your appointment. She's interested in seeing you, so when you've finally got the details sorted out, she'll be happy to have some quality time with you.
