If you're a lesbian or bisexual, it can sometimes be hard to find a girl. If you're not sure how to ask a girl out on a date, follow these instructions. They might help you.
Steps
Step 1. Make us friends
If you only see her at school or work, try to get to know her outside of that context. Try to get his phone number or email. Go shopping with her maybe. Do something that interests both of you and that won't blow her off while hitting on her.
Step 2. Find out how he views the LGBT world
Ask her what she thinks about homosexuality, homophobia, etc. If she seems disgusted by the idea or uncomfortable, try to listen to her reasons on the subject. In most cases, homophobia is just ignorance or fear.
Step 3. Find out if she is lesbian or bisexual
Just because she has nothing against the gay community doesn't mean she is homosexual.
Step 4. Pay attention to body language
It can be easier if you already know that the other person likes you. It's harder if you don't know, so look for signs that might let you know what it's trying to tell you. Sometimes the other person may be too shy to tell you clearly, but they may send you messages to make you understand.
Step 5. If she has nothing against the gay community, find a subtle way to tell her that you are bisexual or lesbian
Before you do this, you definitely need to tell your friends (if they don't already know). If you can't tell your friends, you certainly won't be able to tell the girl you like. You can't spit it out in the middle of a conversation about food. Wait for a similar topic to be touched upon, and find a way to tell him if you feel comfortable.
Step 6. If you know she is bisexual or lesbian, give her signals to let her know you like her
You have to be very brave and first of all tell your friends that you are gay. Once you tell them, you can go out with her more often than you did before. Increase physical contact (hugs, handshakes). She tries to look very disappointed if she can't go out with you sometimes.
Step 7. If she has noticed the signs at this point and does not seem to mind your attention at all, she is very likely to reciprocate your feelings
If you haven't noticed the signs, continue until he notices it.
Step 8. Gather all your courage and confess your feelings to her
Ask her on a date and take her to a place you both love. If he says no, don't stress her out. Try to remain friends with him, even if it will be difficult at first.
Advice
- Try to buy her something she told you she wanted to take, like a book or a sweater. This will show her that you have been careful and know what she wants.
- Pay attention to what he says he loves and hates. You certainly don't want to offend her by talking about something she obviously doesn't like.
- Help her if she needs anything. If he thinks you are an artist or a writer and wants advice, give it to him. It also works in reverse. Compliment her on a picture or story (or other hobbies) and ask her to teach you something. This will make her feel confident and happy.
- If you're sure she's a lesbian / bisexual, don't wait too long to declare yourself or someone else will.
- Let some time pass between one step and the next. Don't rush things.
- Try offering her a coffee / tea (depending on what she likes). Ask her what her favorite is, and then buy it for her.
Warnings
- DO NOT change for her. Just as a straight girl shouldn't change for a boy, a gay or bisexual girl shouldn't change for another girl.
- If you're a lesbian or bisexual and she's strongly averse to the gay community, she probably is better not to spend too much time there. The result could be getting hurt and / or being the victim of a stereotype.
- If she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, then she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. Do not dwell on it too much and don't insist until she says yes, because you are more likely to reduce your chances.
- If he's straight, don't try to change it. It does not bring anything good.
