You've had a crush on this girl for a while, or you've been dating for a while and it's all great. It sounds really great, but will it be the right one? Is she the one you want to dedicate all your attention to, maybe forever? It's a complicated question, but by dwelling on what matters most to you, you can start analyzing the situation and find the right answer.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Look for a Good Person
Step 1. This girl should first and foremost be nice
When looking for the right one, one of the main factors to look into is nobility of soul. It is not a question of temper, but of respect: if this person does not give any importance to the feelings of others, he is unable to maintain a healthy relationship for long.
- He should be kind to everyone. It is important that it is not only with you, but also with other people, especially those with whom it is not forced to be with (for example, the waiters). It's pretty easy to pretend to be nice for your own sake. If you notice that she is grumpy with people she doesn't think she can get an advantage from, a wake-up call will start ringing in your head: it won't be long before she starts acting like this with you too.
- This also means that it should be right. This is another important trait for nurturing a relationship. Does he invite you out for dinner every now and then? Does he give you gifts? Do you divide up household chores and other relationship responsibilities equally? This shows that he values your well-being, and this is one of the secrets to having a lasting relationship.
Step 2. Second, she should be a hard worker
You should be with a person who is willing to commit to getting something out of life. He should always give his all, or at least do it for what he deems important. A hard-working person is stable, and there will be less chance of things going wrong.
Let's take an example. He wants to buy a bag, but because he doesn't work, he doesn't have the money to do it. A mature girl would sell some of her old stuff, she just doesn't expect her parents to give it to her. Obviously, birthdays and holidays are an exception
Step 3. This girl should have values and priorities
Being together with such a person is very important for a successful relationship. These values and priorities should not align with those traditionally accepted by the rest of society, but with what you believe in and your goals. However, there are exceptions. Your girlfriend should definitely:
- Be honest. This factor is of vital importance in interpersonal relationships, whatever your character and whatever relationship it is. Any bond requires trust. If she is not being honest, then you can only expect trouble in the future.
- Accepting others for who they are, including you. If your girlfriend judges everyone, it's a matter of time before she judges you too. By constantly criticizing yourself or constantly trying to change your way of being or your appearance, it makes you realize that you deserve better and that it is not the right one.
Step 4. Try to be with a girl who fosters a trusting, non-judgmental relationship
When you are together, you should feel like you can be honest. You should feel able to be yourself in his company. You should feel free to cry, act awkward, as if you could do all those things with her that you usually wouldn't do in front of others.
If you tell her a deeply personal story (for example, you think you are depressed or want to become an astronaut), she should not respond by laughing or dismissing you. He should try to help you, or at least avoid discouraging you, however much he disagrees with you
Method 2 of 3: Look for a good mate
Step 1. Pay attention to how it makes you feel
The feelings you experience with her are a far from irrelevant factor in deciding if she is the right one. You should feel better when you are together, your inwardness and your life should feel better. You should feel more confident and happy. You should miss him when he's not there. And she shouldn't make you feel weak or stupid. It shouldn't make you feel anxious or fearful of always saying or doing the wrong thing. Being with her should feel natural and give you positive feelings.
There are people who, unknowingly or not, end up being with girls who make them suffer, angry or live tense like a violin string. It's not a problem to feel like this if it's a flirt that is destined to end, but it is undoubtedly a wake-up call if you imagine being with someone forever. Relationships like this rarely work long-term. You will only condemn yourself to problems after problems if in the heat of the moment you decide that she is the one
Step 2. Look for a girl who can bring out the best in you
When we decide to be in a relationship, we should choose a person who makes us better. If you're with a girl who brings out the worst in you, then it's perfectly useless. Analyze your relationship to understand it. Does it motivate you to overcome yourself? It is a factor not to be overlooked in order to know if it is the right one.
Does it encourage you to improve yourself and your life? Are you always finding a way to help you achieve your goals? Does it make you want the best for your future? Does it make you want to work hard? These are all positive signs
Step 3. Look for a girl who is at least as committed to making the relationship flourish
When two people are together, they should both be willing to invest equally in the relationship, striving to make it more and more beautiful and satisfying. If she wants you to do everything and change for her, but isn't willing to lift a finger to improve herself, that's not good at all. On the other hand, if she feels like committing herself, the relationship will work.
- Let's take an example. Every now and then, he should arrange an appointment and invite you instead of letting you always propose everything.
- This does not mean that it must always be proactive. If you both have a relaxed approach, that's not a problem at all. The important thing is that your attitudes and needs are on the same wavelength.
Step 4. Pay attention to her displays of affection
You shouldn't be with someone who takes you for granted. See if she thanks you or shows gratitude when you do something nice for her. You should also examine whether she behaves this way herself, at least from time to time. It is essential to concretely demonstrate your affection.
Don't be mad if it doesn't give you huge or blatant surprises. Not everyone has time or money to spend on big things. Small things, like cooking your favorite dish or writing you a love letter, are enough to let you know that she thinks of you and show you that she cares
Step 5. She should be willing to share responsibility
If you are an adult by now and live alone in a house or apartment, see if they are happy to accept the division of tasks and finances. Sure, maybe your contribution is higher than hers, but she should at least do her part. This shows that she is loyal, dedicated and honest. Have you no intention of helping? Then it will become a burden in the long run.
Sometimes, dividing the personal and financial contribution equally does not mean doing it exactly. For example, if you share an apartment, you shouldn't have to pay the rent in half. Instead, each of you should bring in about 30% of your income, which is considered a financially responsible sum. What does it all mean? If you earn 4000 euros a month and she 1600, you should pay 1200, while she 500
Step 6. This person should help find a balance
Having something in common is very important in a relationship. Obviously, it is better to be together with a girl like you. However, having differences in certain aspects of life is not a disadvantage. In fact, this helps to make a fair contribution to the relationship, without losing sight of yourself.
For example, maybe you are organized but shy, while she is messy but sociable. It can help you become more outgoing, but you can help her find order in her life
Step 7. Choose a girl who proves fair even when you fight
It is normal to have squabbles in a relationship. It happens, and often indicates a healthy relationship. Nonetheless, your girlfriend should be loyal even in this case. He should not insult you or give low blows: this signal would indicate a serious disrespect. Also, he shouldn't blackmail you into winning it. She must be willing to argue until a compromise is found.
For example, he shouldn't bring up the problem with your dad's alcoholism every time you fight about coming home late. It is not fair to you and it does not have a useful impact on the actual reason for the discussion
Method 3 of 3: Look for a Kindred Person
Step 1. Look for a girl who shares your interests
You should have the opportunity to do different activities together, so that you always find opportunities to spend time with friends. You should be able to converse. Choosing someone with similar passions is essential to make sure you don't have any future problems in this area.
You can start a relationship with something in common already, but it is also possible to develop mutual interests over time. Try a hobby together to cultivate new passions. For example, go to a language course. You can find free classes online or enroll in a nearby school
Step 2. You should share values and priorities with this person
The girl you decide to be with should have a similar outlook on life to yours. It is one of the main aspects to understand if it is the right one. But we're not talking about socially accepted values or priorities - they should be similar to yours. This will prevent tensions and conflicts over time.
- For example, if your woman is a staunch conservative and you are very liberal, you will find yourself faced with numerous philosophical differences. Over time, this has the potential to dent mutual respect.
- However, if you can find commonalities despite different values and priorities, you can still make the relationship work. It can be observed in people of different religions. Maybe he is Jewish and she is a Christian, but both are devoted and believe in God, and that's enough. Sometimes, what you deeply believe in is more important than the details.
Step 3. Find a girl to share goals with
You should have similar goals in life if you want to cultivate a long-term relationship. Of course, they can vary over time, but in principle they should remain the same. This is because your goals set you on a certain path in life, and the same happens to her. When two paths separate, the relationship suffers, becoming rather complicated or even unmanageable.
For example, it's not a problem if she decides not to go to college and you don't care either. On the other hand, if academic education and ambition are a must for you, you will end up with a challenging relationship
Step 4. Try to be with a girl who understands your friends and has good friends
You shouldn't always be alone. Relationships with other people often play an important role in the health of a romantic relationship. There are two reasons for this. First of all, one must have a life outside the bond; secondly, your girlfriend should interact with your friends and respect them. Similarly, you have to get along with his parents yourself.
- For example, if her friends are hateful and are always trying to get her away from you, you should realize that they will be a huge obstacle in your path.
- Determine what you are going to do to solve this problem. If it is a problem that weighs heavily on the relationship and your girlfriend doesn't seem willing to intervene, you will have problems. Maybe it's time to be with someone else. But first, you should discuss it and find a solution that works for both of you.
Step 5. Try to be with a girl from the past or experiences similar to yours
Sure, that's not a prerequisite for having a happy relationship, but it's certainly a great bonus. People who grew up in similar environments or who have had more or less the same life experiences tend to understand each other better, often see it in the same way and have a better chance of bonding with each other. If your girlfriend's life looks a lot like yours, your relationship will be easier in some ways.
For example, you may have both grown up in close contact with difficult brothers, sisters, or relatives. A person who hasn't had such difficulties would struggle to understand why you don't want to go home for the holidays, but someone who has gone through similar experiences will be happy to spend these moments solely in your company
Advice
- She remembers birthdays, anniversaries and everything that is important to her. Don't stress yourself out too much - you don't have to surprise her every time a certain opportunity arises. But every now and then, buy her a little gift or organize a date to let her know you care. Surprises don't have to be habitual, otherwise you'll look clingy or obsessive.
- Learn to be yourself, in any situation. In particular, you need to feel comfortable and believe in yourself in any social context. Understanding your true nature is the best way there is to demonstrate confidence, a trait that almost all women find attractive. While not having explored this suggestion in the article (it was not the right place), consider it essential to find the right girl and, above all, to be successful in every field of life.
Warnings
- It often happens that a man wears a mask with the woman he feels attracted to. This is wrong: do not act differently when you are with her. Always be yourself, with anyone. Tease her, flirt with her, don't shut yourself up. Above all, live peacefully in your own skin and in his company. A woman realizes if a man is confident and is acting spontaneously. Nothing is sexier than a guy who knows who he is and what he wants.
- Don't pretend to be what you are not, just be yourself.
- Compliments are good, but they shouldn't just focus on the physical aspect. Obviously, most girls like to get some from time to time, especially at the right time. However, overdoing her body appreciation can make her feel like a sex object, not a girlfriend or future wife.
- Try to avoid self-centered women and taken only by themselves. They are often superficial and manipulative, almost always insecure.
- When you meet a woman and, in particular, you think she might be the one, you need to actually get involved in serious conversations that require careful listening. Avoid talking incessantly about yourself. Ask her questions that you would be able to do only by knowing information that emerged during a deep dialogue. If you're not sure what to ask her, just ask her how she felt (and why) at a specific moment in the story or anecdote she is telling you. Will appreciate your understanding.
- If you are still small, do not rush to have an intimate relationship.
- Never be unpleasant or argumentative towards him - he will think you are insecure.
- If you are an adult looking for the right woman, pay particular attention to your choice: the idea is to get married only once.
- When you need to have your say, please speak up. You don't have to just smile and agree with the boss, unless he is telling you something important and interrupting it would be rude.
