Sometimes, it is difficult to be introverted, especially when you want to interact with others but don't know how to do it. Introverted types don't want to avoid friends or social relationships. On the contrary, they draw energy when they are on their own and find socializing to be physically stressful. However, being introverted doesn't mean you can't or don't want to have friends.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Meeting New People
Step 1. Find a group to share the same interests with
If you attend certain groups, such as those that form in reading circles or cooking classes, or take part in events and conferences, you have the opportunity to meet people and discover interesting things. Subscribers are the ideal people you can talk to, because you already know you have something in common with them. More importantly, this environment offers you conversation starters during the first few approaches, preventing you from making mundane speeches, which many introverts detest.
Step 2. Make a social life
You will most likely not make new friends by staying at home, so you will have to go find them. Popular social events or places are a great way to start making new friends. Look for some events and accept the invitations. Start saying "yes!", Even if it is difficult or you prefer to stay indoors.
- For people who want to broaden their network of acquaintances there is a wide choice between various associations and groups. You will feel more comfortable talking when you know that people are in one place for the same reasons as you.
- If the company you work for or your friends are organizing a meeting, offer your help. You will have something to do during the evening, besides meeting other people. If a conversation seems too long, you can always apologize by saying that you need to take care of the organization.
- If it costs you to go somewhere, try to balance things out. Indulge in some social life, but also try to carve out some time for yourself. This way you won't feel guilty if you take part in any event or if you decline an invitation.
Step 3. Use your body to communicate readiness
If you are in a place and want people to approach you, let them know they are welcome. If your body shows a certain openness, you will be more accessible to the eyes of others.
- Take up the space you are in. Keep your head straight, don't hunch your shoulders and take long steps. This will make you seem more confident and people will want to talk to you.
- Don't cross your arms. The folded arms are the classic position that indicates closure. If, on the other hand, you keep them open, you will seem more available to those who want to talk to you.
Step 4. Say hello to people
It matters little if this gesture does not initiate any conversation. With a simple greeting you convey your cordiality to people. People may not always want to talk, but in the meantime, leave a way of communication open if they want to talk.
Step 5. Start a conversation by sharing something
You can break the ice by saying something about you. It must not be particularly personal or particularly confidential. A simple joke, like "I'm new here" or "This is my first time in this place", will let the other person know that you would like to talk to them and at the same time allow them to know something about you.
Step 6. Ask open-ended questions
This kind of question gives your interlocutor the opportunity to answer freely and suggests that you want to learn more about him. Many people love to talk about themselves and what they think, and sometimes they respond by asking other questions.
- If you're attending an event, like a conference or class, a few questions about the context you're in is a great place to start. "What do you think of the relationship?" it can be effective and places common interest at the center of the conversation.
- If you are talking to a person you know, but not particularly well, a more vague question like, "How are you?"
- If you are talking to a stranger, try asking them something personal, without exaggerating, such as, "What do you like to do on the weekend?" or "Is there any favorite place in town?".
Step 7. Get used to socializing
If you intend to improve the ability to interact with others, the only way to do it is the same one you use when you intend to perfect any other skill: practice. Don't feel pressured to meet new people every day, but at least try to say hello and introduce yourself to strangers. While most conversations don't get you anywhere, that's not a problem. Your goal is to make yourself comfortable when you go out so that you can get to know the people you want to talk to.
To practice, try to imitate the behavior of people you like or admire. An example to follow can offer you some ideas on how to act among people. Find a more outgoing friend who is willing to help you
Part 2 of 2: Making New Friends
Step 1. Be yourself
Focus on your interests and you will be able to find people to share them with. Shared passions are an excellent basis for friendships.
When talking to someone you have recently met, avoid intervening in controversial discussions. There is nothing wrong with showing interest in topics like politics or religion, but by going straight to the heart of the matter, you risk alienating people. Of course, it doesn't apply if you are in a group of people who have a similar vision to yours on certain topics
Step 2. Make contact
To befriend someone, you need to put in some little effort. Call, send messages or arrange a date out of the context in which you met. It doesn't hurt to be a little pushy. Since you are the introverted type, what seems over the top to your eyes may be interesting to the other person.
- To stay in touch with people, try to organize something, especially if it's feasible. Even if it fails, they will understand that you want to see them again and may offer you some other programs.
- Be specific when making an invitation. For example, instead of saying, "We have to go out sometime", try "Would you like to see Spielberg's new movie next Saturday?". This way the meeting is more likely to take place.
Step 3. Reply
If someone has looked for you, return the gesture with a phone call or a message. You can wait a bit before calling him back, but if you don't, you risk alienating those who want to be friends with you.
If you refuse to get in touch with a phone call or in any other way, you are not introverted. It could be shyness or maybe even depression, but they are very different from introversion
Step 4. Use different forms of communication
Communicating does not necessarily mean calling. An introverted character is likely not to like talking on the phone because certain cues that come up in a face-to-face conversation, such as body language, are often absent and conversation control is weaker. Text messages, video chats, and even old-fashioned letters are all great ways to keep in touch. You just need to agree on the best way to communicate.
Step 5. Be patient
Friendship is a journey and it takes its time to blossom. Tolerate some initial awkwardness, remembering that the situation will get easier and easier as you go along. Even if you're not sure you can do it, just pretend until it comes naturally to you.
Advice
- Sometimes introverted types are mistaken for disliking or judgmental individuals. Maybe not everyone will approach you because they don't understand how you relate to others. You will need to be proactive to encourage them to learn more.
- Smile and laugh when you want! You do well to show your emotions, especially the positive ones.
- You will probably not be able to connect with a particular person, even after you have spoken several times. It's not a problem. You can't be everyone's friend, so turn the page and move on.
