It can be difficult to carry on a relationship. To be able to spend some time together, it often feels like you have to compete with the rest of the world. A healthy relationship is based on complicity and communication. Your boyfriend probably thinks there is no problem between you, but maybe he's drifting away due to various tensions in his life. Either way, it may be time to take control of the relationship and get things back to normal.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Identify the Problem
Step 1. Examine the situation
Ask yourself what could lead your boyfriend to drift away from you. Maybe it's stress at work, some health problem, anxiety or family issues.
- The key to solving any problem is to understand the root cause. Do not assume that their departure is due to something you have done.
- Don't think it's "your fault".
Step 2. Don't panic
By stressing yourself out of the state of your relationship, you will only make things worse. Stress often arises from assumptions made on incomplete data. If you feel anger building, take a few deep breaths to clear your mind.
Step 3. Talk to him
The key to a successful relationship is to communicate openly and honestly. Try to have him sit down and talk to him about your state of mind. Don't push him or get aggressive. Tell him you'd like to spend more time with him. Ask him if he needs to get a weight off him.
- You may have a hard time talking about how you feel, even with your boyfriend. An important aspect in any relationship is to confide in your partner. If you want your relationship to work, you both need to open up.
- Be aware of body language. Has his arms folded? Do you keep them crossed too? Is the conversation starting to take on harsh tones? If you notice these details, take a step back. You both probably feel that you are not being listened to.
Step 4. Refresh his memory
Let your boyfriend know you miss him, but you might also remind him of what he misses when he's not around you. Physical intimacy is a healthy aspect of a relationship. You don't have to sleep with him, but try to tell him that you enjoy being around him.
Assess the situation before trying any more intimate gestures. If he's not in the mood for romance, don't force him
Step 5. Stop making yourself useful
If you do his laundry, stop. If you always cook dinner, eat out every now and then. Don't be hostile to him, but let him know how hard you work for him. Your time is precious, so you don't have to take advantage of it.
This tactic will likely generate some tension between you. However, looking for the cause of your problems can help clarify the situation
Part 2 of 3: Collaborate
Step 1. Make an appointment to spend an evening together
Find a night where both of you can make time for each other and stick to the schedule. Ask them to go out together one night a week. You don't have to do anything great, but tell him you'd love it if your relationship became a priority.
Step 2. Find something you both like
Take a walk. Go out to eat. Propose various alternatives until you find the ones that are right for you. Try to think back to when you met and what you enjoyed doing together.
Use your creativity and try new things to stimulate the relationship. Offer him activities that you know he likes and encourage him to do the same with you
Step 3. Laugh
Laughter can help bring people together, especially in a tense situation. When spending time together, try watching a funny movie or going to a cabaret. You can also try to tell yourself some jokes. Don't underestimate the power of good humor.
- Another way to trigger laughter is to tickle yourself. It is a gesture that shows affection and playfulness. It's a fantastic example of how you can give and take in a romantic relationship.
- Tickling also has the benefit of causing sexual arousal in adults.
Step 4. Look for a compromise
Accept that your boyfriend may decide to do things you don't like. Be aware of their needs. If he likes to watch television while you prefer to go out, plan to see a movie one night and go out the next.
This also applies to discussions. If you find that an argument is escalating, take the time to examine the situation. Don't think about who "will win the battle". The goal is to preserve the relationship. Remember the phrase "we agree not to agree"
Step 5. Try to be friends with his friends
You don't have to change your way of being to fit them. Just be cheerful and positive. Equally, ask your boyfriend to spend some time with your friends.
In this regard, make sure that both of you respect each other's boundaries. Don't assume that he will always ask you to join him and his friends. At the same time, don't feel obligated to invite him wherever you go
Step 6. Be respectful
Give him his space and grant him his independence. Even if the goal is to get him to spend more time with you, don't choke him, otherwise you risk pushing him further away.
- Don't expect it to change. Support him and accept his friendships.
- Don't play with him. Don't try to "win him back" by making yourself less available. By creating a drama, you will only make things worse
Part 3 of 3: Take care of yourself
Step 1. Be strong
Having self-confidence is a highly valued quality. This is an attractive requirement in a partner. Even if you're dealing with a boyfriend who neglects you, don't be disheartened. Treat yourself well and trust yourself.
- If you convey confidence, chances are your boyfriend will notice and want to spend more time with you.
- Choose clothes that make you feel sexy. If you've always wondered what you would look like with a new hair color, try dyeing them. Do it for yourself. It is important to feel good about yourself.
Step 2. Be independent
When your boyfriend wants to go out without you - and he does - find a fun way to keep busy.
Go out with your friends or pursue a hobby you've always found interesting
Step 3. Maintain a healthy lifestyle
By exercising, not only will you keep yourself in shape, but you will also improve your mood and help reduce stress.
Even if there are no particular problems in the relationship, it is important to take care of your body
Step 4. Be positive
The best way to attract people (therefore, even your boyfriend) is to try to be happy with yourself. A positive attitude is a surefire way to get noticed by your man. Happiness is contagious.
Try meditating to clear your mind and stimulate a positive attitude
Advice
- A girlfriend is still a friend. Try to be around him when he needs it and make sure he does the same with you too.
- The tips in this article aren't aimed exclusively at girls. If you're a guy and you feel like your girlfriend is neglecting you, most of these tips can help you.
- You can't change anyone. Don't even try, because it won't work. This is not what a relationship is based on.
