If you feel like your friends are always making fun of you, you should probably reconsider your relationship and ask yourself if they really are your friends. With bullies, however, the situation is different, because they simply try to provoke you. A true friend would never do something that can annoy you a lot. Teasing between friends is normal, but if you just feel like you are getting it, or if you are always the subject of your peers' pranks, you don't have to put the best face on a bad situation. By learning to recognize teasing, you will be able to defend yourself better.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Minimize Teasing
Step 1. Learn to make self-mockery
It can be very difficult to laugh at your mistakes if you are embarrassed and afraid to look bad, but this is a very important step. Young people can be very cruel and often behave with much less education than adults do. If you are visibly irritated, some people may take the opportunity to hit you when you are vulnerable and tease you even more.
- It's especially important to play down if you've made an obvious mistake in public, such as spilling a drink, tripping over something, or dropping an object you're carrying.
- Notice how the most popular guys react in similar situations. Usually they will be the first to make a joke ("Today is a really bad day! I stumble on everything!"). They will probably be made fun of by their friends for their clumsiness anyway, because this also happens in groups of "cool" kids. However, after a few minutes, they will roll their eyes and tell their friends to stop, convincing everyone to start talking about something else.
- Don't be too angry. Everyone does something awkward from time to time. Try to forget what happened and turn the page; this will make your friends understand that the episode is already a thing of the past.
- In the beginning this attitude will not come naturally to you, so you will have to force yourself to do it. With practice, however, it will get easier!
Step 2. Be confident
You don't have to be sure all the time, but do everything you can to make that impression; if you convey this message, people will make fun of you less, because your attitude will intimidate them. If they cannot predict what you will say, they will not risk making fun of you; they will be afraid to look foolish if I have the answer ready.
- Try speaking slower. When you are nervous, you have a tendency to speed up the pace of the conversation. Slow down and you will seem more confident.
- Pay attention to your body language. It might sound cliché, but try to keep your back straight, your shoulders back, and your head up. This bearing not only makes you look more confident, it even makes you feel more confident.
- Talk to your elderly neighbor, one of your mom's friends, or your younger brother's friend. Talk to people you know won't make fun of you, in a situation where your friends don't make you feel nervous. The more you practice, the easier it will be to talk to people in times of stress.
- Remember that people probably don't care about you as much as you think. All the guys your age, including the most popular ones, think only of themselves. They won't pay any attention to you, because they're too worried about saying something stupid in the presence of the person they have a crush on or having their friends notice their hair is a mess today. So, don't believe that all eyes will be on you when you walk into the room. In most cases this is not the case.
Step 3. Accept the teasing
In some cases, you can turn them into an advantage if it's something that doesn't bother you much or if you suspect the other person is jealous of you. A great example is when guys make fun of their friends for dressing up, especially if they think they're trying to impress a girl. Instead of getting angry, you can just accept the comment by saying, "Yep, it's a really new hat… and it looks great on me too!"
Step 4. Pretend nothing
This approach is not the simplest, but if you can master it, it is extremely effective in many awkward social situations. When you are teased, just shrug your shoulders and show yourself slightly annoyed, but never angry. Inside, try to think, "Okay, guys. We've had enough fun, it's time to grow up."
- Don't ignore the jokes completely, don't give the impression that you are angry or take the situation too seriously.
- Don't say you agree and don't put yourself down or you will encourage your friends to be even meaner.
Method 2 of 4: Counter
Step 1. Learn to fight back
The ability to respond to other people's jokes without being too mean is very important in life. A sense of humor, in fact, is part of everyday social relations. If you can joke and always have the answer ready, other people will start making fun of you less.
Some people make fun of friends and partners to show affection; they really think they're funny. They will admire you a lot if you can joke without taking it
Step 2. Reject accusations to the sender in a playful way
For example, if a friend suddenly starts teasing you about a girl, you can say, "Why do you care so much about my love life lately?" Or, if he makes jokes about your new look, you can say, "Since when did my hair become the main topic of conversation in our group?".
Step 3. Take notes
Be careful when you are in the company of someone who is able to deflect criticism and who always has the answer ready when he is mocked. Notice how he approaches the problem, what he says, and what reaction he gets. When someone is making fun of you, try to think "What would that person say in this situation?".
Step 4. Use the "Yes and that's not all …" method
Maybe your friends make fun of you because they sense that you are changing and are afraid that you may become too mature for them. They make fun of you because it's easier than evolving; changes can be frightening. React to their jokes by taking them one step further, so you can prove that you are still the same person as ever and that they don't have to feel threatened.
- If a friend makes fun of you for wearing a new leather jacket, saying "How's Fonzie doing?", Answer: "Good and I will not stop there. Tomorrow I will jump with the bike over a tank of sharks".
- If you wear a new scarf and a friend says "Bella! Did your girlfriend lend it to you?", You say, "Sure, and I'm wearing her panties too."
Method 3 of 4: Improve Your Friendship
Step 1. Tell your friends that their behavior is bothering you
Among friends, it's common to make fun of yourself, but if this happens so often that it annoys you, the situation has probably gotten out of hand. Maybe they themselves don't even realize they are making you feel bad. Make sure you talk to each one alone in private, away from the rest of the group. If you try to end the problem during a prank, you could make things worse.
- Be clear about your expectations. Was there a particular incident that bothered you? What could your friend have done differently that you would have been able to accept?
- Remember that teasing is part of the personality of many people; some of your friends won't be able to avoid making jokes forever. Don't try to force them to make you a promise they can't keep. This would only lead to resentment among you.
- Try to be specific. If you consider it a taboo subject, ask your friends if they can stop making fun of you about it. Or, if one of your friends in particular is inciting others to make fun of you, ask everyone to pay attention to this and not get carried away.
- Avoid blaming your friends, as this will cause them to get defensive. Don't say phrases like "Why are you always so mean to me?" Instead try something like, "It bothers me a lot when people make fun of me about my weight, can you defend me when everyone starts doing it?".
- Let your friends know that if they try to meet you, you won't be mad. You can say: "We have been friends for years right? This is the only thing that bothers me … if you are careful in the future, there are no problems".
- If you know that in some cases you react badly to teasing or if you can't be self-mocking when you should, explain to your friends that you are working on your flaws. Try saying, "I know that in some cases I am too sensitive and I am trying to correct this attitude. Isn't it that you could treat me better until I have tougher skin?".
- However, if your friends are misbehaving, don't accept it. In some cases, people hide bullying by telling their victims "Come on, have a laugh!" or "You don't have a sense of humor!". Don't blame yourself if you find yourself in a similar situation.
Step 2. Ask your friends if something is bothering them
Some people make fun of you because they have a problem with you and aren't brave enough to face it directly. They will try to mention it during conversations, pretending it is a joke. If you suspect this is your situation, take your friend aside privately and ask him if he wants to talk to you about something. Explain to him that his teasing lately has seemed pretty mean and that you would like to know the reason for his attitude.
- Try this approach with friends who suddenly start teasing you or who have been making pretty cruel comments lately.
- There may simply be a communication problem between the two of you which, once cleared up, will lead to an end to the teasing.
Step 3. Try to understand why they do this
In some cases, friends make fun of you because they feel threatened by you, especially if they think you are becoming more popular than them. They only try to get the attention of the group, even if it is a negative light. They believe that if they make you feel smaller, they will look better.
- If you suddenly get teased more than usual and can't understand why, maybe people are starting to see you as more attractive or more confident than you used to be. In this case, smile - things are great!
- Think about whether something has happened in your friend's life that makes him feel insecure. He may let off steam with you to divert attention from himself. This is probably nothing personal.
Step 4. Be willing to let it go
Don't be too angry and don't expect an apology. A good friend will apologize to you without needing to ask once they realize that you are really angry. However, if you try to make him feel guilty when he doesn't really think he has done anything serious, only resentment will arise between you. If you want to maintain a friendship with this person, explain that if they try to make fun of you less, there will be no problems between you.
If a friend continues to tease you after allowing you to try to change, it may be time to end your relationship. Negative people in your life can cause a lot of stress
Method 4 of 4: Confronting the Bullies
Step 1. Go on the attack
As the saying goes, "offense is the best defense". If you think you have the skills to do this, one of the ways to avoid being teased is to stop the problem in its tracks. For example, if a classmate is always making fun of you at break time, try to deal with him right away. You can jokingly say, "Hey, it's 11am. Time to talk about my hair again." The most important aspect of this strategy is to make your attacker look boring and predictable.
- If you can make the bully's friends laugh, you can reflect his teasing on him. People who torment others often go to groups where everyone jokes.
- Being embarrassed in front of your friends is a bully's worst nightmare.
Step 2. Take control of the situation
If you feel like you can take a more aggressive approach, you can try to take command of the conversation again. You may even be able to calm the bully down if you understand what is causing him to annoy you. Also, if you can put yourself in his shoes, you can find an alternative method to resolve the situation without resorting to a fight.
- Whenever a bully asks you a question, respond by asking him to explain himself ("Why do you think so?" Or "What makes you think I did this?").
- Be careful not to lose your temper and not to sound sarcastic because you will only make him angry.
Step 3. Always avoid making fun of other people
If you get caught making fun of someone else you immediately lose your moral credibility, even if you are taking revenge on the friends who torment you the most. If you start acting like them, they'll think you're playing their game. Some guys enjoy teasing and have no problem receiving it; maybe they are girls tempered by four older brothers. As soon as you participate in the joke, it becomes permissible to target you. Defend yourself, but don't be too bad.
Step 4. Report the bully's behavior
If the situation gets too bad and you don't know how to regain control, it's time to talk to your parents or a teacher. They may be able to find a way to deal with the problem without the rumor spreading that you "spied".
- You need to be careful with this strategy, because if the bully finds out that you were reporting their behavior, they will treat you even worse.
- Your safety and mental health are more important than your reputation. If you are afraid that a bully will turn to violence, it is your duty to say something, in order to safeguard yourself and all the other children who are being abused.
