Massaging your wife's back can be a very intimate experience. You need time to focus on his needs; you don't have to go blind, take your time to create a relaxing atmosphere. The music, the lights and the candles are all perfect details which, together with the massage, help you relax your muscles and release the tension that you experience during the day; don't forget the oils. Your wife will surely be grateful for all the attention you give her.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Preparing for the Massage
Step 1. Prepare yourself mentally to focus on her
Remember that the massage is to help you relax; your goal is to improve the time you spend together through more intimate contact. You need to prepare yourself to fully focus on your wife for at least half an hour, if not more. Think about the things she likes when she relaxes and take them into consideration to create the perfect setting for the massage.
Step 2. Find a room or place that offers a lot of privacy
For best results, your back must be fully exposed; this means that she will probably have to remain topless. You must therefore choose a very intimate place away from the sight of neighbors and children; if you have children, you should close the door.
- The bedroom can be the ideal setting for a massage; however, be prepared to have to stay on your lap most of the time. You may need plenty of towels to prevent oils from staining your sheets, pillows, or duvet.
- Don't give her the massage on the couch; while it may be comfortable, it offers little room for maneuver to apply the right pressure.
Step 3. Find an appropriate surface to proceed
Even if you don't have a massage table, you can definitely find plenty of places for her to lie down; you need a surface on which he can lie down comfortably without getting cold. You need a shelf that offers a lot of support; since you have to press on your back, avoid waterbeds.
Step 4. Play some relaxing music
If she has a favorite album or band that she likes to listen to when she's relaxing, give her this chance; if not, find some relaxing songs anyway. If you have no idea about it, you can go to your local music store, where you will surely find a wide choice. Avoid the radio if possible, because you can't choose songs, there are commercial breaks, and the commentator can talk between songs.
You can quickly find relaxing songs online or using a smartphone app; some streaming services also offer customizable ad-free playlists
Step 5. Set the mood with scented oils
Essential oils used for aromatherapy can offer the right touch to the environment. If you know that there are unpleasant smells in the room, you will surely want some good scent to spread. Orange blossom oil, for example, has a fragrance that conveys a calming sensation.
You can use different essential oils to enrich the massage; lavender is particularly relaxing when used in this context
Step 6. Light up the room with candles
Usually, electric light does not induce relaxation, as it is often quite aggressive to the eyes. The natural light from the candles is sufficient to perform the massage, but not so strong as to spoil the atmosphere; remember that the room must induce calm and be inviting, the light of the candles creates a very warm and welcoming environment.
If you use hot essential oils, you must choose odorless candles, to avoid mixing scents; you can however opt for scented candles instead of essential oils
Step 7. Have massage oil on hand
You need to have some to pay as much attention to your muscles as possible. The oil reduces friction and allows you to press without dragging or pulling the skin with your hands or fingers. Get an adequate amount of massage oil to put on both hands and on your wife's back.
The bottles of oil can cause a lot of mess and dirty, in case you have to apply other products during the massage; Then consider wrapping the bottle with a small cloth and rubber band or pour the oil into a container for liquids, such as a small cup with a spout
Step 8. Make plenty of towels available for various purposes
You can use several, especially cotton ones, for numerous actions; they can be used to absorb excess oil or to cover certain parts of the body when needed. If your wife is lying on her back, she might want to have one below her knees or rolled up under her feet to relax them.
If she wants to undress completely for the massage, use a towel to cover her buttocks and upper thighs if she feels too exposed
Step 9. Do some stretching exercises in the hands, arms and fingers to avoid cramps
If you have never massaged someone or it has been a while since the last time, be prepared for the fact that you will feel a little sore; you need to stretch the muscles of your hands and wrists a little before starting the massage. To do this, place both hands open in front of you with your fingers extended and push the fingers of one with the fingertips of the other; repeat for the other hand.
Another stretching exercise involves squeezing a stress ball; this allows you to strengthen the fingers to make a more intense massage
Part 2 of 2: Give her a Relaxing Massage
Step 1. Take some time to set up the environment and prepare the initial details
As she begins to relax, worry about the finishing touches; light the candles and put on the music. Wait until your wife is ready before proceeding; if you start preparing the room before it arrives, it may not feel able to release tension. Also, you should avoid leaving candles burning unattended, as they could ignite other objects.
Step 2. Give your wife time to take off her upper body clothing, bra, and lie down on her face
When she is ready for the massage, she will probably do it naturally. If she feels uncomfortable taking off her bra, you can let her lie down before taking it off; However, be aware that the oil could stain the garment if it is not removed once it is in place.
Step 3. Apply the oil to your hands and back
Unless you're used to spreading it directly on your skin, start by applying it to your hands and then rub them on your back. If you feel like you need more oil, pour more on your hands and repeat; continue until your hands begin to slide easily over your entire back. Make sure you massage your shoulders, neck and hips as well.
Step 4. Start from the shoulders
Most of the tension accumulates in this part of the body. To begin, cup your hands on your shoulders and gently squeeze them to apply pressure to the muscles; apply constant pressure even with your fingers. Avoid the collarbone, but move left and right from the neck to the arms and vice versa.
- One technique is to place the thumbs on the back of the shoulders and press. While keeping your fingers still in the same position, move your thumbs along your back and neck with each squeeze. Move your fingers and hands periodically to ensure a complete massage.
- Don't forget the neck and upper arms. For the neck, you simply gently massage the nape and sides with your fingertips and thumbs; for the arms, work from the outside of the shoulders and massage the top. Apply equal pressure with your fingers and thumbs and slide your hands with each squeeze.
Step 5. Proceed to firmly knead the sides of the back using your thumbs and other fingers
Once your shoulders are massaged, move towards your back; start making circular movements with your fingertips, opening and closing your hands slightly. As you move onto your back, massage the muscles on the sides of your spine with your thumbs, using your other fingers to massage your hips.
- Don't touch her spine or any other area that makes her tickle or painful. The spine should not be massaged; if you press too hard, you can cause intense unwanted pain (or even injury). In addition, you should also avoid any tickling, pinching, pushing, scratching or slapping, if not required, as it usually alters the relaxed mood.
- If you weren't doing circular motions, your fingers should move to and from the palm about 3-5 cm.
- Keep your fingers straight throughout the procedure to provide more coverage and evenly distribute pressure. Try to apply even pressure with the base of the fingers instead of the tips.
Step 6. Slide your hands along the sides of your back
After manipulating the back and hips, you can make more harmonious movements. Slide your open hands, with palms facing down, along the entire back, from the lumbar area to the shoulders and arms; then proceed in reverse, from the shoulders to the lower back. Repeat this movement several times, remembering to press steadily; if you feel a lot of friction, add a little oil as needed.
Step 7. Use your body weight to apply pressure
As you proceed with the massage, you notice that your hands begin to get tired; then assume a position that allows you to apply pressure with the weight of the body itself. Be careful not to overdo it, you don't have to hurt her; however, it is important to use your body weight to give your hands a break. This technique is especially useful when you slide your hands along your back.
Advice
- Spend more time massaging the areas that your wife finds particularly pleasant (for example the shoulders, neck and lower back).
- If you start to feel ticklish, try to make slower movements, with a firmer touch using your whole open hand; adding more oil can also help.
Warnings
- Do not stand up and do not walk on her back, you need to focus on muscle massage; let the chiropractor take care of the spine.
- If you have long fingernails or very rough hands, you could make her uncomfortable or even scratch her. use a lot of oil to avoid accidentally hurting her.
- Do not apply pressure to your spine, you could cause serious injury if you do it inadequately.
