It is never a pleasant situation to tell someone that they are putting on a few extra pounds, especially if that person is your spouse. If we are concerned about the health of a loved one, we need to proceed with caution when bringing this up, because the way everyone perceives their weight brings up a flood of emotional and self-esteem issues.
However, by getting your spouse to become aware of his overweight, you can save his life or, at the very least, help improve his quality of life. Many serious diseases, ranging from cancer to heart disease, diabetes and stroke, have a direct relationship with obesity. What's more, being overweight can limit the enjoyment of many activities, as well as being a health risk. While it will not be easy to tell your spouse to cut down on sweets, this gesture could save his life, and thanks to your intervention and the support you are ready to give, he will be able to rise again in the guise of a more energetic, healthy and happy person..
Steps
Step 1. Start the conversation as soon as possible
Even if your weight is never stable, don't wait until your husband or wife has put on so much weight that you need to seek medical attention to lose weight. If it has gained around 4-7 pounds and doesn't seem to be losing it, now is the time to take action.
The best time to start is when he complains about something, whether it's about the difficulty of putting on an old pair of pants or that he doesn't like the way he looks in front of the mirror. These are exemplary cases where both can be on the same wavelength
Step 2. Address this issue with care and consideration
Whatever your reason for putting on weight, it's important to respect what he feels when you tap this button. Start asking how he feels. Don't start by saying "you're fat". Your spouse trusts in your love and it will be devastating to be attacked for her looks by someone she trusts. Instead, address the issue by highlighting health issues, any lack of energy and vitality, and make sure you analyze the issue together, as a team effort.
- Find a quiet time when you can talk quietly. Start the conversation by saying that you are concerned about his health.
- Be aware that they may view their weight gain from a different point of view than yours. He may be aware that his clothes no longer fit him as they used to, but he doesn't necessarily care about it as much as you do. The fact that you don't see it as a major health problem could be a wake-up call.
- Try to get to the root of the problem so that you can properly address this issue. If you believe the problem is due to psychological distress, encourage him to seek medical help. If it comes to work-related stress, ask him to speak honestly about the decisions to be made in the workplace: maybe try some changes or quit and look for a different job.
Step 3. Suggest a medical check-up
Make sure your doctor checks your weight and BMI (body mass index) before expressing yourself. Ask your spouse when their last visit was. If he hasn't gone to the doctor or had a blood test within the last year, suggest that he get them so he can rule out any underlying health problems.
- Sometimes weight gain can be caused by chemical or hormonal imbalances. After giving birth, some women may have thyroid problems, which manifest themselves as unexplained weight gain. In these cases, drugs can be the solution.
- Sometimes being overweight can result from undetectable causes, such as pressure at work (stress), depression or anxiety. At other times, it can be a reaction to the loss of someone or something, such as the disappearance of a family member, a friend or a dismissal. Other triggering circumstances include ill-considered illness or dietary changes. It may be helpful to speak to a doctor if you intend to resolve psychological issues as well as physical ones.
Step 4. Consider the obstacles in the house
To give support, you need to recognize your responsibility for a spouse's weight gain. If you can eat almost everything without ever buying a pound or if you train a lot, paying attention to what you eat, it will not necessarily be the same for the other person. On the other hand, if you encourage her to be less active, this behavior can also contribute to her weight gain.
- Do you buy large quantities of junk food or are you rather lazy? If you harm the other person with your bad habits, you risk being a hindrance to their health and well-being.
- Look at home schedules. Does each of you have the time to have dinner with the family while sitting quietly at the table? Do each of you train every day? Is health a priority for the whole family or are you all too busy to find the time to dedicate yourself to your psycho-physical well-being?
Step 5. Help your spouse establish a healthy physical activity routine
Don't take anything for granted, though: ask him if he would feel better and more energetic by engaging in a new eating and sports program. I was convinced that this would be an advantageous choice, bringing to his attention reliable sources that he can check on the Internet or in books. Use whatever type of resource you prefer.
If you have a mobile device, download an exercise app and food diary. It can be a fun and easy way to help your spouse keep track of fitness and nutrition control goals. You can offer to do the same by sharing results and updates on a regular basis
Step 6. Follow the advice you give yourself and work towards getting your spouse back in shape
If you show interest in this program, lead by example if you aren't already. Put the need to stay healthy before everything else, even if you don't get fat when you eat junk food. If you already follow a clean and fat-free diet and train at least five days a week, share your habits more actively with the person you love, involving them in cooking, shopping, physical activity or other aspects useful for them. acquire a greater awareness of how a healthy lifestyle is established.
- Invite her to work out with you outdoors or in the gym. Teach her your favorite exercises - they might thrill her as much as they thrill you.
- Engage in physical activities that you can do together or as a family. Go jogging and sign up for some local marathon, join a football or basketball team or try tennis.
- Make a list of the foods you both like and cook them healthily. Take a cooking class and discover new recipes to make the healthiest foods delicious.
- Remove all obstacles in the house, such as junk food. It is much more difficult to gain weight if you don't have foods available that make you fat.
Step 7. Encourage the whole family to cook and eat healthily
One of the best ways to lose weight is to feed the body with healthy foods. Educate yourself, your spouse, and other family members to consume foods that boost metabolism and provide the right energy throughout the day. It is a good idea to consider your doctor's help, as each person has their own needs which depend on their physical condition, metabolism and age.
- Learn about portions, i.e. the quantities considered healthy and normal, and those that are excessive. Consult the LARN (Nutrient Reference Intake Levels) that the Italian Society of Human Nutrition (SINU) offers through a nutritional document that can be used for research and nutritional planning of the Italian population.
- Instead of having three large meals, consider preparing six or seven small meals to keep your blood sugar levels and cravings at bay. This method does not work for everyone, but if it helps your family, it can be useful for distributing food consumption throughout the day in a healthy way. If you have diabetes or other problems, talk to your doctor before drastically changing your diet.
- Try using different types of spices and herbs if you want to add flavor and character to healthy foods without adding calories. However, beware of anything that contains monosodium glutamate and artificial substances. Try not to alter the flavors and not make your dishes too elaborate.
- Cut back on restaurant visits. While it's convenient, eating at restaurants more than once a week can make you gain weight quickly because you don't know how your food is prepared or how many calories you consume precisely.
- It makes you want to eat homemade food. Get the whole family to sit down and choose what they like best for lunch, as long as it's non-calorie, unprocessed, so you can make them at home and take them to work, college, school and wherever it's needed. So, make sure you always have the necessary ingredients on hand and make sure everyone lends a hand every morning so that you don't waste time. By doing this, you will save the whole family from the temptation to eat fatty foods at lunchtime.
Step 8. Celebrate the results
Don't forget to celebrate even the smallest wins. If your spouse loses two pounds in a week, go to the movies together or book him a manicure or massage. Make every success stand out by celebrating properly so he knows you cheer for him. Here are other ways to celebrate an achievement:
- Take the family to the beach or the park.
- Go to the theater or to a concert.
- Write a love letter telling your husband or wife how proud you are of the goal they have achieved, or just to express your love.
- Get him a new piece of clothing (one size smaller, of course) from his favorite brand.
- Bring him a bouquet of flowers, a new book from his favorite author, or an inedible thought.
Advice
- The simplest way is to alternate between a healthy but expensive reward and a cheap and unhealthy one. If you go to fast food once a month, it will be a reward that will keep expectations high, while eating sandwiches and stir-fries every day will make you fat and even boring. You need to understand what to eat, while decreasing the high-calorie rewards, so that they benefit when granted. Once a year, those who need to lose weight should have the opportunity to eat whatever they want, for example, on their birthday. If he has eaten well all year, the habit of eating small meals will limit the quantities planned for the birthday binge.
- If your spouse is able to achieve a normal weight, encourage him to eat proper nutrition and exercise, but don't push him to lose any more weight. Maintain the good habits that underpin a health-conscious lifestyle.
- Be kind and always give your support. If he gets it wrong, keep encouraging him to eat healthily and train the next day, as if nothing had happened. Don't scold him and don't get angry. Changing your eating habits and lifestyle takes time and patience.
- A diet that includes periodic fasts can cause permanent weight gain, because the metabolism changes to assimilate food more efficiently and accumulate calories, turning them into fat cells. Sometimes, after doing prolonged fasts, a person can actually gain 500-900g per week, even if they are low on energy and lose muscle mass. This is why diets that promise "fast weight loss" are not a good solution. A stable and healthy pace, worth celebrating, hovers around a loss of 500-900g per week.
- It is more effective to make a series of gradual and sustainable changes than a strict diet. Add healthier food in small portions, then gradually increase the amount for about a month to get the person used to the new flavor. On the contrary, by drastically modifying his entire diet, he will face annoying digestive problems for two or three months: diarrhea, constipation, gas, cramps. In this way, she is not encouraged to follow the new diet, but will only pay the cost.
- Many diseases cause uncontrollable weight gain. Side effects caused by many prescription drugs, medical conditions, genetics, and many other factors can cause sudden or gradual weight gain. It is useful to counter them with diet and exercise, but sometimes it is not enough. Try to find out more, especially by checking the instruction leaflet of the medicines to find out if weight gain is included among the side effects.
- People who quit smoking gain an average of 5 kilos.
- Breastfeeding women lose pregnancy weight quickly, often without conscious effort. Women who bottle feed undergo a biological reaction whereby the body continues to accumulate weight to feed the child, as if the fat cells do not realize that the baby is already born. So, if your wife has chosen to bottle feed your baby, be very kind and supportive if she has difficulty losing weight. It will be an uphill struggle for her, tougher than most women.
- Men face a similar battle around the age of 25-30, when the metabolic change affects a young body, full of energy, capable of eating and burning everything with a single intensive training session, transforming it into a more burly and robust physique.. It can also happen that fatty deposits form on enlarged muscles. It is not something that can be prevented: it is age that advances. It can happen to women to some extent, too, but most have children before age-related changes occur.
- Wait for the best time to open the conversation. The right one is when your spouse complains about something - maybe he is having trouble putting on an old pair of pants, is out of breath to climb stairs, or other inconveniences caused by weight gain. In such circumstances, you will be on the same page, and your research and support can turn the irritation of the moment into a serious revenge plan.
- Go to the library and borrow popular books on weight loss, fitness, and healthy lifestyle habits. Spread them around the house for your husband or wife to read. You too, though, would do well to consult them so that you can make some suggestions.
Warnings
- Look out for symptoms that indicate obsessive behavior, such as excessive physical activity or self-imposed fasting. The emotional impact of being a weight-impaired spouse, coupled with the fear of losing a loved one, could cause some people to overreact and hurt. Frequently reassure your husband or wife of your love and that you want to give all your support. Get help immediately if you start losing too much weight too quickly.
- Never use vanity as a reason to encourage weight loss. If you focus on the outward appearance, you will lead the other person to wonder why you find this more important factor than their psycho-physical well-being, risking to hurt them emotionally and create continuous friction in your relationship.
- If after some serious discussion about this issue you realize that your spouse is offended, doesn't want to control his weight, has no interest in taking steps to prevent any health complications, and hates the gym, forget it! Don't grumble and don't scold him. You just risk destroying your relationship and dampening her interest in taking action.
