In the excitement of newly blossomed love, it seems so easy and natural to express your feelings to your partner. Yet, after marriage, many couples sink into routine and end up taking the other's presence for granted. Don't let another day go by without expressing your love. Follow these steps to show your wife or husband that you love him deeply.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Part One: Demonstrate Love with Actions
Step 1. Start small
Small gestures can make a huge difference when they come from the heart. All it takes is a little effort. Basically, your wife or husband just wants to know that they are in your thoughts. Here is a list of things you can do without spending anything or with a minimal amount:
- Suggest a walk to take after dinner.
- Turn a bedroom into a dance floor and ask your spouse to dance.
- Experience camping in your own backyard.
- In bed, read something for your spouse (with or without humorous commentary).
- Go to the gym together (according to some couples, after sex is great).
- He mentions a possible romantic holiday but keeps the secret on the details.
Step 2. Gradually move to more noticeable gestures
It is a positive idea to alternate small worldly gestures with more important and meaningful actions. The latter need more effort and may cost a little (but it is not necessarily!), However it will be worth it when you see your spouse screaming with joy and wriggling with enthusiasm!
- Prepare a video montage of your wedding night.
- Contact your in-laws and organize a surprise birthday party.
- Recreate your first date, first kiss or first fight.
- Compose a love song dedicated to your spouse and record it (it can be serious or with a touch of irony).
- Create a collection of short stories that focus on the beginning of your relationship.
Step 3. Show your love with thoughtful gestures
Small tricks are enough, such as a hot bath, a massage, washing the dishes or writing a poem. Pick something they might particularly like. But remember to put your heart into it; doing it unwillingly will do no good. If you want to show your affection without enthusiasm and dragging your feet, it's best not to.
- Buy exactly what you want. If your husband wants a toolbox of a certain brand, or your wife dreams of a Fendi handbag, they might be disappointed if you buy something similar that doesn't exactly match their desire.
- Create something personal to show your commitment. Buying a certain object is not a big effort, but it takes dedication to compose a poem, write it and frame it. Such a gesture would show your concern.
- Many small gestures are easier to put into practice than a single important act. If you think that something spectacular can remedy all your shortcomings, you are wrong. Plus, it's much easier to do small things on a regular basis than to work hard to create a big effect. Think small and act consistently.
Step 4. Spend time with your spouse
This aspect is often underestimated, but dedicating your time to one person is a great demonstration of love. Turn off your cell phone, TV, computer and radio, sit on the sofa and savor the time you spend together. This is a great opportunity to offer your support, so make yourself available to him.
- Organize an evening just for the two of you once a month. Children, commitments and apathy can be a hindrance, but you should try to carve out some time for yourself and have dinner alone, or go to the movies together at least once a month. These moments of intimacy are really useful for rekindling the passion.
- If you have a doubt, just ask! People love to talk about themselves and your spouse is no different. Spice up discussions by asking "how", "what" and "when" rather than accepting monosyllabic responses. The most enjoyable conversations arise from intriguing questions. Become an expert.
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Interested in his past.
Some are surprised to learn the details of their spouse's youth. Show interest in his or her past to show how much you care about him or her.
Method 2 of 3: Part Two: Show Love with Words
Step 1. Express your love
An open and clear dialogue will allow your spouse to understand how much you love him. By speaking openly, you will be able to share your feelings so that your partner perceives them clearly. You could say "My heart starts to beat faster every time I see you" or "I think about you a lot during the day and, every time, I smile". Just be honest.
- Compliment him on his skills and achievements. Try to find out what makes him the most proud (in case you don't already know) and compliment him on it. If your husband thinks he is an intellectual, praise him for his ingenuity; if your wife thinks she has a good eye for fashion, compliment her style.
- Get in the habit of talking about your feelings. Don't be shy, but externalize what you feel. Share your emotions. Tell your spouse even the small daily trifles, so he will feel more involved in your life.
Step 2. You must always tell the truth
Sincerity is part of love, because it shows trust and respect. The truth doesn't have to be positive to be important. It just has to correspond to reality. Show your unconditional love, but not unconditional acceptance. Be willing to be corrected by your spouse.
- Don't raise your voice, don't use biased tones, and don't generalize with terms like "always" and "constantly". Doing so would make the truth harsher than it really is.
- Don't be persuaded by the common notion that you shouldn't try to make your partner better. Trust me, your spouse would like you to tell him the truth.
- Use kind words to indicate your partner's flaws and offer constructive advice for improvement. If it is a particularly sensitive person, try to balance criticism with praise.
Step 3. Try to find out which "Language of Love" you prefer
Do you know that he appreciates romantic phrases? Or maybe he feels more loved when you make a small gesture for him? Some love to receive little gifts, others just caresses. Everyone perceives true love differently, so don't rely on your preferences, but on your partner's.
- Some things to know about women: It is important to show your affection physically. Men often don't show their love with physical contact, yet a small gesture like a kiss on the neck or a spontaneous hug is all she needs. Don't consider it a way to reassure her; think it is a demonstration of your love.
- Some things to know about men: Men often think that physical contact is a superfluous or even overwhelming display of affection. That doesn't mean you can't show your love to him, but you have to realize that those gestures aren't as important to him. Give your husband a chance to put his feelings into words, but don't mistreat him if he can't.
Method 3 of 3: Part Three: Demonstrate Love Through Trust
Step 1. Remember that actions often matter more than words
It is not enough to say one thing, you have to put it into practice. Sometimes, for your spouse, it can be annoying to be told that you want to do something but, in the end, you never get to work. If you don't follow action with words, you will begin to lose your credibility and your spouse will have less faith in you.
Find no justifications. They might be legitimate, but they seem like a simple excuse. Gather all your courage, admit you made a mistake and try harder next time. Your spouse will notice your effort
Step 2. You must be confident that your partner will notice your commitment
Love is not a race: it is not about getting your due or being equal. Trust me, he realizes he's lucky to have you.
- Don't constantly ask for confirmation. It is important to receive proof of his love from time to time, but you must learn to live without it, even if you desperately need it. If you've just given your husband a wonderful gift and, for some reason, he doesn't seem enthusiastic about it, don't question his love because, in any case, he will have appreciated both the thought and your efforts, so put aside the doubts.
- You have to trust your partner and let him be himself. Unless you have a history of infidelity, try to trust her sense of responsibility and decisions in your absence. If he goes out for a beer with friends, or attends a bachelor party, you have to trust him. He will honor your trust if you give it to him.
Step 3. Remember what love is
It is an act of will, not a passionate feeling or a calculated consequence of experience. Although love is different for each person and each of us demonstrates it differently, we often need to take a step back and give priority to the needs of the other.
- Think back to the last time your spouse made you smile. What did he say to make you feel like the luckiest person in the world? What can you come up with to make him feel the same way?
- Don't ever back down for him. In this fast-paced society we are always busy, busy, yet it seems like you never have time for anything. Are you willing to make an exception to help your spouse, doing something for him to take away a burden or make things easier for him?
- Have his car oil changed; iron his shirt on an important day or before an interview; make him a cocktail when he gets back from work.
- Bring her breakfast in bed; give her a shopping voucher and offer her to go shopping with her friends; mow the lawn, clean the gutters or prune the trees.
- In love it can happen to make mistakes and that is why forgiveness is a vital element for the survival of marriage. Also, if you are willing to be tolerant, chances are you will receive the same kind of understanding as well.
- A marriage requires constant commitment. Listen to your spouse, without interrupting him or undermining his words. Pay attention to his speech; if you are already thinking about what to answer, it means that you are not really listening.
- Take your spouse to different places, such as for dinner, to see a movie, or on vacation.
- Remember that courtesies and love are intimately connected. If you love your spouse, you need to try to meet their needs. The moment you start importing to do things your way or however you like, you automatically stop showing your love.
