In a marriage, there are times when the tension is high and the distances can widen. Many factors, such as stress, fatigue, and lack of interest can affect your relationship with your husband and your life as a couple. If you are already in a similar situation or just want to rekindle your relationship, try rekindling the romance and opening up communications. If there is a lack of trust in the relationship, try to rebuild it.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Wooing Your Husband
Step 1. Make appointments
Invite your husband out. Take it to dinner, to the movies or to dance. Prepare a picnic for the two of you. Ask them to have lunch together on a weekday, or ride a bike for brunch on a relaxed weekend. Make it clear that it is a date: no one else is invited, not even the children.
Dress well. Organize events for which you will have to wear different clothes than ordinary ones. You can go to an elegant dinner, a dance class or a themed event. You might even go swimming
Step 2. Plan sexual intercourse
Couples stop making love regularly for many different reasons. The habits you had early in the relationship don't necessarily teach you to maintain an active sex life later on. Establish times and ways to have sex. If it always happened in the evening, but you're too tired now, find other times of the day.
- Take a shower together, or throw yourself into bed before dinner.
- Think about your pleasure. Explain truthfully what brings you to orgasm, what hurts you, and what bores you. Ask what you want: altruism is the death of sex.
- Ask him what he wants in return and satisfy him as he did with you.
- Arrange an appointment and think about creative details (candles, costumes, trying something new).
- It will be exciting waiting to put your plan into action.
- Respect the plan! Otherwise the preparation will have been useless.
Step 3. Tap it
The intimacy achieved with physical contact cannot be overlooked. Even if your sex life isn't great, you should still find a way to make your bodies meet. Hug him when he gets home, when he needs reassurance or just when you feel like it. Exchange back rubs or offer him one when he feels pain.
- Give him a kiss when he leaves the house or when he comes back.
- Take care of each other. Offer to brush his hair or apply cream. Ask him to help you with the zip or tie his tie.
- Make eye contact when you speak. This detail creates a strong sensory bond.
Step 4. Take a trip
A change of scenery allows you to break the routine. Take a vacation together, without other people. Go for a weekend or just for one night if you can't stay away for long. Plan a vacation that's not too stressful.
- For example, if one of you is always driving for work, plan a vacation where you won't be behind the wheel. Take the train, the plane or walk to the hotel.
- Take a dip in the past. Take a vacation to a place where you have had a great time together. Don't try to recreate that experience exactly, but repeat the activities you enjoyed the most. Relive the good times and create new memories.
Part 2 of 3: Interacting Differently
Step 1. Tell him what you appreciate about him
Expressing gratitude towards her can greatly strengthen your relationship. Think about everything you like about him: his character, his actions and what he does for you. Find a moment of calm and tell him exactly how you feel. If necessary, write what you want to say.
- Make it a habit to thank him specifically for the kind gestures he does for you.
- Don't just say "Thank you". Praise his adorable qualities that lead him to behave kindly.
- Instead of just saying, "Thank you for making me dinner. It tasted great!", You can say, "Thank you for making me dinner. I noticed that instead of getting mad at me for being grumpy, you realized I was tired and hungry. excellent cook, but also a really caring person ".
- Compliment him too. You will bring the seduction back into your relationship.
Step 2. Spend some quality time together
Find the time to consider yourself every day. Spend at least an hour a week alone, focusing only on you. You can eat, walk or just sit on the sofa after the kids have gone to sleep.
Don't touch on certain topics in moments together. Avoid everything you normally talk about (work, children, health or money problems) for at least the first twenty minutes together. Discuss your less serious interests, news, or anything that doesn't affect your daily worries
Step 3. Try new activities
Sign up for a class and learn something together, such as a language, a type of cuisine or a dance. Visit places you've never seen. Set up an appointment where you try something new. The novelty will make your relationship seem young and renewed; moreover, you will be able to discover an unfamiliar side of your partner.
Play. Couples who have fun and laugh together have better marriages. Throw snowballs at each other, tease each other with affection, play with the ball and tell jokes
Step 4. Limit criticism and advice
In some cases, you will have different opinions than your partner or he will do something silly or clumsy. Try not to criticize him more than once a day. Before you speak, ask yourself if it's really worth it.
When your husband complains, listen to him. Instead of giving him advice, offer your compassion. You can suggest what to do when he asks, or give him a new point of view if he can't find a solution to a problem. However, in most cases, you'd better just listen
Step 5. Fill in the gaps in your relationship
Start the interactions you miss the most. If you feel like you're no longer talking, start a conversation. If you go out all the time, ask him to go to dinner. If you take the first step, you may be pushing him to return the favor.
- If he doesn't reciprocate, make requests. For example, if you take all the photos during your family vacation and are therefore never in the frame, pass the camera over to him.
- Try taking the first step, then ask your husband to do the same. Leave frustration as the last answer. If you find that you are not satisfied, calmly explain how you feel.
Part 3 of 3: Rebuilding Trust
Step 1. Communicate after a betrayal
If you or your husband did something that broke the other person's trust, talk about it openly. Express your experience without trying to influence your husband's reaction.
Write your thoughts in a letter so that you present them well
Step 2. Apologize or ask for an apology
To rebuild trust, the person who made a mistake must apologize. If you've cheated on your husband, tell him you're sorry. Admit the mistakes you've made and the impact you think they have had on him. Explain why it was a mistake and promise not to repeat it.
If he cheated on you, ask for a sincere apology. If he's not ready to do it to you, he's not ready to love you again
Step 3. Talk
After the apology, discuss the incident that caused the rift. Do not dwell on the most painful details, but clarify what happened, the causes and reasons why it was difficult.
Step 4. Set yourself goals
Write down how you would like the relationship to progress and ask your husband to do the same. You may find that you both want changes. Rebuilding trust can have the positive effect of strengthening certain aspects of your relationship.
If you find that your goals are different, find compromises to achieve them all. For example, if your husband would like to spend more time with you, while you want more space alone, try planning quality time together and periods when you stay apart
Step 5. Try couples therapy
Look for a psychologist who specializes in helping couples in your situation. If there has been an act of infidelity, find a professional who specializes in marital therapy. If you can't get your husband to join therapy, go to the therapist alone.
