You have noticed the signs and your mind is joining the pieces of the puzzle. Your partner comes home late or stays late under the guise of working shifts. When your partner arrives home, after a silent dinner he takes refuge on the internet and avoids your questions with weird justifications … if you are worried that your love is cheating on you, and you want to find out, here are some approaches that could help you confirm yours. suspicious.
Note: Some of the tips for "spying" on your partner may be illegal in your country. Check the applicable laws before following them.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Finding Your Partner Over the Phone
Step 1. Let your fingers do the work for you
The telephone is something that unites all our lives and as time goes by it becomes more and more important. So you will be reasonably sure that their betrayal is consumed on the phone as well as in the more traditional ways.
Step 2. If you have a landline phone line, eavesdropping will be easy
- Find another appliance and plug it in somewhere in the house where your partner rarely goes. Remove the microphone so your potential whispered taunts don't get caught.
- When you hear him shout "Leave it, I'll answer it", go to your spy room and answer it too. If you have a classic handset, be careful not to pick it up too quickly and not to press the key to drop the line, otherwise you will be discovered.
Step 3. Try to record his conversations
If you're sure your future ex-partner won't call their sweetheart when you're around, but they may not resist the temptation of a sneaky phone call when you can't hear, recording the conversation is probably your best bet. If you plan ahead, you may be able to hear your partner's private conversations.
If you have a smartphone or phone that can act as a recorder, hold the earpiece close to the microphone, record the offending conversation. If you catch them red-handed, and you get enough evidence, you won't need to wait. Compare your partner with his toothbrush and suitcase and kick him out of the house. If, on the other hand, the phone call was from his friend calling to confirm the Thursday football, ignore it and come back to him with a smile
Step 4. Use a baby monitor
This is a simple and accessible way for everyone to eavesdrop. Of course it's not an ideal choice if there are no children in your life right now, but you may still be able to get away with it. Wait for a day when your partner goes "shopping" and go to an appliance store. Buy a baby monitor, a can of spray paint of the color you want to use to camouflage it and some tape of the same color to cover any bright LEDs.
- Paint the transmitter (the child / secret part) with spray paint. Cover the microphone before coloring it so you don't damage it and don't go overboard with the color. Don't risk the smell of paint betraying you.
- Hide the transmitter in a discreet place in the room where you think the licentious conversation will take place. Choose a position, where your partner is unlikely to look. Behind books, under a sofa or if you can't find better, somewhere in the bedroom or bathroom.
- Turn on the transmitter and place a small radio in the room to the volume of whispers and giggles. Go to your listening post and turn on the receiver. Can you hear the radio? If you can do it, the trap is set. If you can't, change the position of the transmitter until you can hear the mark clearly.
- When the call comes in and your partner says "I have to answer, it's for work" answer "Okay, I'm going to [the room where you placed the receiver]". Go to the room, turn on the receiver, start the tape recorder (phone, tape or any other medium) and listen to what happens next. If your suspicions are confirmed, call a taxi for your partner and buy a one-way ticket to that country from the traitor. Of course, if you hear "Okay boss, I'll get you that report tomorrow, and, wait… what is this, a transmitter?", Call a cab for you and abandon ship, because you will find yourself in rough waters.
Step 5. Make digital recordings with a digital device
As suggested by Elizabeth Wilson's Discover If He Cheats On You And With Whom guide, there is a wide selection of digital recorders, such as pens, USB sticks or fake phones that are activated by voice and that you can use. This means that you can place one in the place where your partner could call and when that happens, the electronic device will activate, like a mousetrap. Check the trap as soon as possible and good luck!
Step 6. Violate your partner's privacy and spy on their communications
Direct access to the cheating companion's phone can reveal a lot - especially his SMS and private messages on social networks. His close friends will be sincere in their advice and will say what they think. You may find sent messages more useful than received ones. Regular checks will give you an idea of how the situation is evolving. Be wary of using aliases to disguise compromising messages.
- Check his emails. Another way to communicate with your lover is to email or chat on the net. Think how useful it would be if all his emails and online conversations were emailed to you. There are programs called remote spying programs, which will record all activities of the spied computer, such as emails, private and chat messages, website history, buttons pressed and send a copy to your inbox.
- If your partner is not very careful, you could also check his computer or phone when he is not present and see his history, the applications used and look for other clues of possible cheating. You may be able to read compromising emails or hot chat messages.
- If your partner is cheating on you, they will likely try to stop you from reading their emails by protecting them with a password. To try to gain access, he tries to enter his usual passwords. If you can't log in, do a Google search for programs that can hack password-protected items.
Part 2 of 3: Using Other Methods to Monitor Your Partner
Step 1. Use all the tools at your disposal
You can get help from inanimate objects - they never talk! For example, there are hidden cameras available in unthinkable forms! They are so effective that even you would not be able to understand that they hide a great camera inside. The shapes of the hidden cameras vary from clocks up to table lamps.
Step 2. Install a GPS device
Monitor your partner's movements by placing a GPS device on their car. It will show you where it went and how long it stopped. The next time he says "I work late, honey", you can reply "I didn't know you worked in a motel!"
Step 3. Check the odometer
An inexpensive alternative to GPS is a simple check of the kilometers traveled when you are away. Write down the odometer number before he heads to work, and compare it to the one when he gets home. Is this distance consistent with the distance required to reach the workplace? A suspicious discrepancy can mean that your suspicions are well founded.
Step 4. Pay particular attention to his friendships
Who are you seeing most often? Who do you hear from most often? Are they also your friends? When you meet them, try to sense if you feel any hostility from them. Don't ask direct questions. Don't put them in the position of having to choose which side to take. What people don't say is as useful as what they say.
Step 5. Check for recent calls
If your recent calls list is cleared or locked, you can access this information online from your phone account. You will need the password to log into the account. The password used was probably chosen before the betrayal began, so you may know or guess it. Check the frequency of use and the duration of calls. Are these factors stable or have they grown? Having this information will give you clues as to the evolution of the situation.
Step 6. Look for changes in his behavior
Changes in stylistic tastes or appearance, loss or gains in weight, coldness, detachment or hostility; refusal to talk about plans for the future, seeking less responsibility, little sexual interest and the amount of attention he gives you during the day. Check for these changes and see if the situation is getting better or worse? The changes are often indications of a condition of instability.
Step 7. Try to find out if your partner has any secrets
Be vigilant to make sure your partner doesn't have a second secret phone that they use to avoid getting caught. Also, check his trash on the computer - people often delete things and forget to empty the trash.
Part 3 of 3: Trap him
Step 1. Catch him red-handed
If you truly think your partner is cheating on you and even after checking their phone calls, emails and travel all the evidence you have comes down to your instincts, then you will need to decide how much you are willing to do to make sure it is. loyal.
- Ask yourself honestly why you don't trust your partner. Is there a reason, real or imagined, to assume that your partner is or has been unfaithful? It doesn't have to be court-worthy proof, but do you have something to base your assumptions on besides instinct and sixth sense? It is common to self-believe that our partner is cheating on us, starting only from situations transformed into tests by our feelings, beliefs and insecurities.
- Just because he seems less interested in you doesn't mean he's cheating on you. Working late or hanging out with friends might not be an excuse. It often happens that couples who have been together for a long time forget why they fell in love with each other, because life can be monotonous and people relax over time, taking their partner for granted. Also, it is possible that your partner is a slave to work, has "married" to his career and rarely thinks about spending time with you.
Step 2. Make assumptions
If you think you have a real reason to be suspicious of your partner, then start with the assumption that he will take precautions not to reveal his cheating.
- She won't use her home phone or computer to communicate with her lover.
- He will not tell you to work late and instead run away for a meeting at a hotel, risking your calls going unanswered or being seen leaving the workplace early.
- He'll take advantage of the normal regimes and habits you've come to know and use that time to cheat on you. A sexual betrayal does not require a lot of time or emotional investment. They may meet in a parking lot, get in their car, drive to a motel and lock themselves in their room for half an hour and be back for shopping. He may even arrive home with purchases consistent with the shops he should have visited. So if you want to find out the truth, follow these steps:
Step 3. Prepare the trap
Get a good zoom camera, and place a GPS device on your partner (in their clothes, in their bag, etc.) or on their car. Hide a voice-activated recorder behind your bed. Then, plan a trip out of town for two - four days - and tell your partner about it.
Make your trip more believable by telling details about your schedule and the places you will visit, while actually staying in a hotel outside the city - if your partner expects to see more evidence of your trip, really book it, maybe join him for then cancel the trip at the last minute and stay close to home
Step 4. Get started
Remember to call your partner from the airport and when you arrive at your destination. If you call from your mobile, you can pretend to be everywhere. Sorry because you will be working late and you don't know if you will be able to call again in the evening.
Step 5. Check his movements with the GPS and if he leaves the house for a long time and reaches an unusual place, go there and see from afar
- Follow your partner (think about renting a car for the occasion), but don't do it if you have a tendency to lose your temper on the street or if you are very impulsive.
- If your partner returns home, park nearby and watch.
Step 6. Repeat as many times as necessary
Use the camera zoom if necessary. Check the recorder to make sure you haven't lost anything.
If you need more time, call the morning of the day you were due to return and apologize for delaying your return by a day
Step 7. Manage what you discover
If you discover something, you can confront your partner with evidence. If you find nothing, don't make your "journey" too long. In any case, don't allow this situation to continue - confront your partner with evidence or let go of your suspicions to restore stability to the relationship or end it if that were the case.
After the Discovery
Step 1. Face the consequences of discovering the truth, whatever it is
It is not pleasant to find that your partner is cheating on you. It will probably be terrible, because it will shake the foundation on which you based your life. Also, you may feel guilty about the way you stealthily learned the truth. The discovery process is heartbreaking and will shock you.
Step 2. Face your emotions
If you get solid, solid evidence that your partner is cheating on you, you will have a real reason to be unhappy. The fact is, it is better to know the truth. Over time, you will understand that even though it was a traumatic experience, it gave you the opportunity to understand that this person did not deserve you and that you have yet to find your soul mate. Seek the comfort of friends, family, and perhaps a doctor or analyst to help you get through this difficult time. Deciding whether to leave your partner is a very difficult choice that only you can make, but you can seek the support of a good network of helpers.
Step 3. Keep in mind that you may be completely wrong
If you haven't found evidence of your partner's infidelity, you now have very little reason to believe he is cheating on you. Or, if you still believe your partner is very cautious and stealthy, at least you have discovered how easy it is to set a trap for them to catch them red-handed in the future. Be sure, however, that your continuing suspicions are well founded; by now, you have probably completely betrayed his trust.
Advice
- Never underestimate your instincts - at least do some checking to allay your worries.
- Use your senses. Approach your partner when he gets back from what you believe was a date. Use your sense of smell. A different scent could mean that he has started using deodorant or aftershave again, or that he is wearing someone's perfume.
- Any sudden changes in appearance (weight loss, new clothes, etc.) could be a clue. Be careful though - all people go through difficult times which they try to remedy with renewed personal care; it's not overwhelming evidence.
- Be careful if your partner buys a second cell phone. Be even more careful if you find it by accident and it was kept hidden from you or if it was purchased without explanation. Other suspicious signs include the sudden use of pins and passwords to protect previously shared information, or keeping the phone silent most of the time.
- If you notice a sudden increase in text messages sent or received, it could be a clue.
- Be careful if your partner takes a lot of business trips. It is one of the most common clues.
- Check your partner's car for several days in a row. Look for unusual items. You can find clues like a restaurant receipt or the corner of a condom pack.
- Make jokes about cheating to gauge your partner's reactions.
- Pay attention to your partner's body language to uncover any lies. If in response to a direct question about where he was, you notice that he will touch his face, he may be hiding something.
- If you find that you have forced your partner on the defensive and that he is getting nervous, don't let it go. Continue the unpleasant conversation. Your partner may confess - or hit you with a slipper if you're completely wrong.
- Get a test to check for semen in her underwear. However, keep in mind that this is a very serious violation of your partner's privacy.
Warnings
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Be aware that how you use your spying tools may violate other people's privacy and the law. Check the laws in your area to see if what you intend to do is legal or notifiable. In most cases, the actions and use of the following items are considered illegal:
- It may be illegal to spy on a person without consent.
- It may be illegal to access another person's computer without permission.
- Using programs to crack passwords and accounts is probably illegal.
- You may not be happy with what you discover. You may not want to know the things you think you need to know.
- If your suspicions turn out to be paranoid non-factual jealousy - and your partner found out about your activities undercover - you would have caused tremendous and often irreparable damage to your relationship. Even if you aren't caught, consider seeing a psychologist.
