"It is difficult to be humble when you are perfect in everything". So goes an old country song. Of course, few people believe they are perfect in every respect. However, it can be difficult to be humble, especially if you live in an environment that encourages competition and individuality. Even in a society like ours, humility is an important virtue. Learning to be humble is central to many religious traditions, and humility can help you develop better and richer relationships with other people.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Accepting Your Limits
Step 1. Admit that you are not always the best in whole or in part
No matter how talented you are, there will always be someone who can do something better than you. Observe these people and see them as an incentive to improve.
- Even if you are 'the best in the world' in your field, there will always be things that you will fail and that you may never be able to learn.
- Recognizing your limitations does not mean giving up your dreams or stopping learning new things and improving your skills.
Step 2. Recognize your flaws
We judge others because it is much easier than looking within ourselves. Unfortunately, it is an unproductive, and often harmful, habit. Judging others ruins relationships and prevents new ones from being born. Worse still, it keeps us from improving.
- We always judge others, often without realizing it. As an exercise, try to notice when you judge another person or a group of people, and when you do, judge yourself. Consider how to improve yourself.
- Work on your flaws. Remember that growing and improving is a lifelong process.
Step 3. Be grateful for what you have
Suppose you graduated with honors after attending one of the most prestigious universities. You definitely deserve all the recognition possible for your many hours of study and your perseverance. However, keep in mind that there are people who are as smart as you are and who are as committed as you who may have received less support from their parents, grew up in a different context, or perhaps made poor choices in their lifetime. It may happen to you that you find yourself in the same position as them.
- Always remember that a bad choice of the past can condition and make your life completely different today and, above all, that today could be the day when you will make the right choices for your tomorrow.
- While you have undoubtedly worked hard to get what you have, you would not have been able to do it all without the support of other people. Everything we do is the result of what many other people have done to us. Our character is formed thanks to the people around us. This allows us to improve and gives us the necessary impetus to achieve our goals.
Step 4. Don't be afraid to make mistakes
Part of being humble is understanding that we all make mistakes. When you understand this, you will have freed yourself from a great burden. None of us can claim to know everything. Everyone knows only a small part of the infinite knowledge that has accumulated over the centuries.
Furthermore, each person experiences a small slice of the present and cannot know anything about the future
Step 5. Admit your mistakes
While you may fear that people will be angry or frustrated about your mistakes, it is always better to admit them rather than deny that you made them. Whether you are wrong as a boss, parent or friend, people will appreciate that you admit that you are not perfect and that you are working to improve yourself and the situation. Saying that you are wrong will show that you are not selfish, stubborn, or do not want to appear imperfect.
Admitting mistakes increases the respect people have for you, whether it's your children or your colleagues
Step 6. Avoid bragging
Being proud of your accomplishments and having healthy self-esteem is fine, but nobody likes it when a person is constantly trying to draw attention to themselves. If you think you have accomplished something really important, it is very likely that people have already noticed it and that they respect you more because of your humility.
This doesn't mean you have to lie about your achievements; if someone asks you if you have run in a marathon, answer yes; but don't start telling what a champion you are if you aren't asked
Step 7. Behave politely during conversations
Humble people don't need to shyly wallpaper - being humble doesn't mean you don't have any self-esteem. A humble person should still closely follow anyone involved in the conversation and should not treat anyone with arrogance. As a humble person, you should recognize that everyone, including you, has their own dreams and goals and that everyone may want to talk about their goals or opinions.
Step 8. Don't take all the credit
We are human beings and our personality has a lot to do with the influence and guidance of other people. Countless people have supported you and helped you become who you are so that you can make your dreams come true. Being proud of your accomplishments is fine, but keep in mind that no one ever gets to do something completely on their own, and that, as people, we all help each other achieve our goals.
Share the love. There is nothing less humble than a person who takes all credit for a thing he didn't do
Part 2 of 3: Appreciate Others
Step 1. Appreciate other people's talents and qualities
Commit to looking at others and appreciating the things they do, and more generally, appreciating people for who they are. Try to understand that each of us is different and enjoy the opportunity to deal with different people. Keep your personal tastes and preferences, but train yourself to separate your opinions from your fears; you will be able to appreciate your neighbor more and you will be more humble.
Being able to appreciate the talents and qualities of others can also help you recognize those qualities you want to achieve or improve in yourself
Step 2. Avoid comparing yourself to others
It is almost impossible to be humble when we try to be better or better than others. Instead, try to describe things more objectively. Instead of saying someone is the best guitarist ever, describe what you like about his skills… or just say you like his style. Forget the simplistic and meaningless comparisons and you will be able to live without worrying if you are better than others.
Each individual is unique and it is impossible to truly say who is "the best" at something
Step 3. Don't be afraid to defer to the judgment of others
It's easy to admit to making mistakes and not always being right. But it's harder to admit that in many cases other people - even those who disagree with you - are right. Committing to your spouse's wishes, to a law you disagree with, or in some cases to your child's opinion takes your ability to recognize your limitations to the next level.
Instead of simply saying that you are not foolproof, act on the facts
Step 4. Look for help in the texts
This is another way of appreciating others. Study moral texts and proverbs about humility. Pray for it, meditate on the words you read and do whatever takes your attention away from yourself. You can read particularly inspiring biographies, memoirs, the Bible, essays on how to improve your life, or any other text that makes you feel humble and helps you appreciate what others have to offer.
If you are not the spiritual type, consider the scientific method. Science requires humility. It is necessary to overcome preconceived notions and judgments and understand that you do not know as much as you think you know
Step 5. Continue to accept the teachings
Find people who inspire you, and ask them to mentor you. When someone accepts, clear boundaries, confidence and discernment will be required. As soon as you think you have nothing more to learn, quickly get back down to earth. Accepting the teachings means that there is always something to learn in life.
You can be more humble by taking lessons on a topic you know nothing about, such as pottery or word processing, so you can understand that you need to allow others to teach you
Step 6. Help others
A large part of being humble is respecting others, and to do so you will have to help them. Treat other people as your equal and help them, because it is the right thing to do. It is said that when you help someone who cannot help you, you have learned to be humble. Helping people in need will make you appreciate what you have even more and make you less proud.
Of course, don't brag about the volunteer work you do
Step 7. Stay last
If you always try to take things first and always get first in line, try to give priority to others - for example, the elderly, the disabled, children or people in a hurry.
Ask yourself if you really need to be first at all costs; the answer should always be "no"
Step 8. Compliment others
Do it with someone you love or even just a vague acquaintance, just because you feel like it. Tell your girlfriend how beautiful she is today, your co-worker who has a nice haircut, or the supermarket cashier that you like her earrings. Or you can go deeper and compliment an individual's personal qualities. Give at least one compliment a day and you will see how much people have to offer.
Focus on the positive characteristics of others, rather than their flaws
Step 9. Apologize
If you were wrong, admit it and apologize. While saying "I'm sorry" to someone can be painful, you need to get over your pride and apologize for what you did. This shows the person that you value it and that you are aware of your mistake. Put your pride aside, say you're sorry, and show that you truly regret your actions.
- Make eye contact when you apologize to show how much you care.
- Don't be wrong yet. Apologizing doesn't give you permission to do it again.
Step 10. Listen more than you talk
To appreciate others and be humble, you need to listen. The next time you start a conversation, let the other person do the talking, don't interrupt him, ask pertinent questions. Even if you want to contribute to the conversation, make a habit of letting others express themselves more than you do so you don't pass for someone who is only interested in their own life.
Ask questions to show that you fully understand what the other person is saying to you. It is not enough to wait for the other to stop talking and then you can start
Part 3 of 3: Rediscover the Sense of Wonder
Step 1. Rejuvenate your sense of wonder
As individuals, we know very little, so we should wonder more often than we do. Children are able to do this and this curiosity makes them attentive observers and excellent listeners. Do you really know how a microwave oven works? Could you build one? And a car? Your brain? A rose?
The disenchanted attitude of those who "have already seen everything" makes us feel much more important. Marvel as a child and not only will you be humbler, you will also be more ready to learn
Step 2. Be kind
A kind spirit is the first step towards humility. Use "Aikido" when you have to face a conflict: absorb the negativity of other people's attacks and turn it into something positive by trying to understand the reason for that anger and reacting with kindness and respect. Kindness will help you rediscover the sense of wonder and focus on the positive aspects of life.
Step 3. Spend more time in nature
Take a walk in the park. Stay near a waterfall. See the world from the top of a mountain. Go on a long hike. Swim in the ocean. Find your way to surround yourself with nature and take the time to truly appreciate it. Close your eyes and feel the breeze on your face. You feel small in front of nature, you develop your sense of wonder and respect all the things that were before you, and that will still be there when you leave.
Spending more time in contact with nature shows you how big and complicated the world is and that you are not at the center of it
Step 4. Practice yoga
It is an exercise in love and gratitude, it makes you develop a sense of wonder about your breath, your body and the love and kindness around you. It shows you how fleeting your time on earth is, so you can appreciate it even more. Get in the habit of doing yoga at least twice a week and reap all the physical and emotional benefits of it.
Yoga is based on humility. There is no point in bragging about being able to maintain a certain yoga position, as yoga is based on individual rhythms
Step 5. Spend more time with the children
Children have an ability to wonder about the world that an adult has lost by now. Spend time with them, see how they appreciate the things around them, how they are always curious and how they derive pleasure and joy from little things. For a child, a flower, a roll of toilet paper can be the most fantastic things in the world… at least for an afternoon.
Being close to the children reminds you how magical the world is
Advice
- Try to always keep a loving and kind heart; you never know when someone needs you.
- Learn to admit when you're wrong and don't let your pride make you believe your actions were justified …
- Remember that being humble has many benefits. Humility will make you live happier, it will help you overcome difficult times and improve your relationships with others. It is also an essential quality for learning well. If you think you know everything, you won't be open enough to new acquaintances. Humility is also an excellent tool for personal growth. After all, if you feel superior, you won't feel pushed to improve. Finally, being humble allows you to be honest with yourself.
- Ask questions when you don't know, when you know little, and even when you think you know everything.
- It's okay to talk about yourself, but make an effort to ask your interlocutor something about it as well.
- Never brag about what you have and don't give in order to receive.
- Be kind and thoughtful. Help others and remind them that you are there for it.
- Seek advice from wise and trustworthy people and help from responsible people if lack of humility is your weakness. Pride leads to ruin and prevention is much better than cure.
- Appreciate your skills. Being humble doesn't mean not feeling good about yourself. Self-esteem and pride are two different things. Both come from recognizing your talents and qualities, but pride, which leads to arrogance, is rooted in insecurity. Think about your abilities and be grateful.
- Help people, especially the poor, the weak, etc.
- A life dedicated to others gives more satisfaction than a selfish life.
- Before you think about yourself, think about others. Before you think you need someone, think about who might need you.
Warnings
- Don't confuse being humble with being servile (flatter someone for your own gain). It is a mistake that is often made, but the two attitudes are completely different.
- Pretending to be humble is not the same as being humble, and often people who pretend do it to get praise. Other people will recognize this attitude, and even if you manage to deceive someone, you won't get the same benefits that true humility can give you.
- While humility is a great gift, don't overdo it by becoming a doormat. Remember, everything should be taken in moderation.
