Contraceptives are methods used by women to avoid becoming pregnant. Although they are effective against pregnancy, not all contraceptives protect both partners from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). If you are sexually active, but don't want to tell your parents, there are ways to have safe sex without them knowing.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Preparing for Contraceptives
Step 1. Find out about your rights
Research your country's laws that protect minors. In many cases, it is necessary to undergo a gynecological examination to be prescribed contraceptives. Teenagers under the age of 18 do not need parental consent to be examined by the doctor and can go to the gynecologist without parental permission.
- You can go to family clinics to get advice and prescription drugs with the maximum guarantee of privacy.
- Not all countries can obtain contraceptives without parental permission. However, in Italy the legislation provides for access to drugs even for minors, without the consent of parents or guardians. Before you go to the pharmacy to get them, find out about your rights.
Step 2. Find a reputable medical center
Once you have done all the necessary research, you need to find a clinic or a health center, it could be a gynecologist's surgery, a clinic, the school's medical center or the gynecological center for minors.
- Even if it is allowed in your country to take contraceptives without parental consent, it is still important to go to a specialized center to receive the appropriate treatment in a discreet manner. You can contact the local health authority in your area to find the nearest center.
- Call the center and find out about the rights of minors. Remember that you have every right to know and to ask questions.
- Make sure you tell the clinic that you want to keep the information confidential. It may not be necessary to make this clarification, as medical and personal data should be confidential regardless, but further verification can further reassure you.
Step 3. Decide how you want to pay
Gynecological examinations are not always free. If your parents have private insurance, your medical visits probably could also be covered by the insurance plan. But if you want to keep the visit secret, it is not advisable to take advantage of this policy.
Family clinics offer a free gynecology service for minors, but if you go to a private gynecologist you will have to pay for the visit. However, there are professionals who offer "pro bono" visits once a week or a month to their office
Step 4. Know the risks
Since many contraceptives are for oral use or are inserted into the vagina, they may have side effects. You also need to be consistent in taking the drug if you want to avoid unwanted pregnancies.
- If you have decided to take the pill, take it as directed; forgetting even one, you can risk getting pregnant; if you miss several doses, the risk increases further.
- Some contraceptives can trigger negative reactions, talk to your doctor or read the leaflet to learn about them.
Step 5. Consider discussing birth control with your parents or guardian
It's a good idea to consider talking to them about sexual intercourse and a birth control method. Sometimes, girls are afraid to admit that they do or even think about sex; they believe that parents may be disappointed or angry. Think of them: do you really believe they may have problems with this? Don't you think they could accept it instead?
- One way to understand how they react to this issue is to approach it almost by chance. Tell them that at school they give out condoms for free, inform them about your friends' sexual issues and experiences, ask general questions about sex. The way they react can let you know if you can speak openly with them.
- Observe how they treat your boyfriend. Are they strict with him? Are they happy or not that you have found a person to date? How do they react to the idea that you can kiss him?
- If you think talking to your parents is the right thing to do, be honest with them; by choosing to take contraceptives, you show them that you are responsible and mature.
Part 2 of 2: Choosing Contraceptives
Step 1. Get a prescription for the pill
Birth control pills, also called oral contraceptives, are pills that contain hormones to be taken by mouth. When taken correctly, they are 99% effective in preventing births.
- The pill should be taken every day, preferably at the same time every day.
- If you are trying to hide it from parents, take it at a time when you know you are alone, such as in the morning or in the evening. If you spend a night away from home, remember to take the pack with you so you don't forget to take your daily dose.
- Find a safe and private place to hide them. Most likely, parents look inside the bathroom cabinet, bedside tables or under the mattress. Instead, you need to find a more imaginative place, like a DVD container or an old school book. Put them in your purse, in the inner compartment of your handbag or in a sock in the drawer. Make sure the place you choose to hide the pills isn't too visible or obvious to a parent who wants to snoop through your stuff.
- Even if you don't have private insurance, most birth control pills cost around 10 to 40 euros, but there are loanable ones, for which you only pay the ticket for the prescription (2-3 euros).
- Ask the gynecologist if he gives you a free sample; can offer you a free trial for up to three months.
- It is extremely important to remember that oral contraceptives do not prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Just because you want to avoid getting pregnant doesn't mean you're protected from STDs and HIV.
Step 2. Choose an intrauterine device
This contraceptive method, more often called simply IUD or spiral, consists of a small plastic "T" shaped accessory that is inserted into the uterus. Only the gynecologist can perform this surgery and it is an extremely effective method of avoiding unwanted pregnancies.
- The IUD can be hidden from parents; the only person who is able to notice his presence is your partner.
- It is a long-term contraceptive, it can last between 5 and 12 years. It is possible to remove it, but it is not recommended to do it on a whim; choosing a spiral is a serious commitment.
- The price may vary. It might cost nothing, like up to 900 euros. Talk to your gynecologist to make sure this is the right choice for you.
- Even this birth control method does not prevent possible sexually transmitted diseases or HIV.
Step 3. Choose your patch, ring or injection
If you feel like taking the pill is too zealous and the spiral is too demanding, you can try one of these three solutions.
- The patch is applied to the arm once every three weeks; during the fourth week it must be removed. A prescription is required for this method.
- It may not be the best method for you if your goal is to hide birth control from parents. If they see the area the patch is on, they may ask you questions or uncover you. If you are serious about keeping contraceptive use secret from your parents, the patch is probably the last option you should choose.
- Another method is injection; hormones are injected into the arm and their effect lasts up to three months. This is an extremely effective solution, as long as you consistently submit to quarterly reminders on time. This is a method that guarantees maximum privacy. Neither the parents nor the partner can know you are giving the injection, unless you tell them yourself.
- The birth control ring is instead a device that is inserted into the vagina. It stays inside for three weeks and then needs to be taken off for a week. It is a safe, effective method, and you can get it with a prescription; parents can't see it when you are using it. As long as you keep the replacement hidden, discard the old ring with the new packaging discreetly and carefully, parents should not find it. However, the partner notices that he is using it.
- The ring can be completely loanable or cost up to 80 euros, depending on the model.
- Know that none of these three methods protect you from STDs or HIV.
Step 4. Buy condoms
It is one of the simplest methods of contraception; both male and female ones are available and you can find them in well-stocked pharmacies and supermarkets. If you feel too uncomfortable about buying them in a store or fear that your parents will find you, remember that most clinics and counseling centers offer them for free, as do some schools.
- Make sure you hide the condoms in a safe and inconspicuous place. Keep them in a DVD container, in an old book, in a sock inside the drawer or in your purse. Avoid placing them in an obvious place where parents can see them, such as in the bathroom, under the bed, in the pillowcase or bedside table.
- Condoms not only prevent pregnancy, but also protect against sexually transmitted diseases and HIV. Even if you use one of the other birth control methods, you can still use a condom during sexual intercourse. Protecting yourself from STIs and HIV is equally important for safety, responsible sex, and to avoid getting pregnant. This method protects both you and your partner.
- Make sure you use condoms correctly to avoid pregnancy or illness; it must be put on before any exchange of sexual fluids. Make sure it is worn properly to prevent it from breaking; otherwise, you could get pregnant or get sick.
- The condom should only be used once, you must never reuse it. This means that you should always have several on hand, to avoid making irresponsible decisions.
- Don't rely on your partner for condoms. Girls who want to have safe sex need to worry about buying them. Don't let anyone say you should have unprotected sex. Some people believe that sex is more enjoyable without condoms, but know that it is just as fulfilling and, more importantly, it is safe. Take control of your body and your sexual health - regardless of your gender. Protect yourself and have safe sex.
Step 5. Make a secret appointment with the gynecologist
Regardless of the birth control method you use, you need to see a doctor. This carries the risk that your parents may find out. Be cautious and discreet when you go to the clinic to avoid any questions.
- If you can, go to another city. If you live in a small town, this may be the only way to keep the news from spreading. The doctor and healthcare staff are required to respect the confidentiality of information, but other patients in the waiting room and other people in the parking lot may see and talk to you. If you live in a busy city, this may not be a problem; however, the ideal would be to visit a doctor in another neighborhood.
- Keep all the reports and documents related to your gynecological examinations hidden. Put them in a folder with documents covering other topics or put them in a book.
- Do not give your home phone number to the gynecologist. If possible, you should only leave your mobile number with him. You must prevent the medical center from calling home when you are away and notifying your parents of the visit.
- While you don't have to go to a clinic to buy condoms, you still need to be discreet when buying condoms. Get them at a shop or pharmacy where no one can see you. If all the people in your city shop at the main retailer, don't buy them at the same store; someone might see you wandering around the condom shelf and inform your parents.
