Are you tired of constantly trying to be popular? Have you tried this several times in the past without success and now have you had enough? Being unpopular does not mean that you are unpleasant or unable to form a friendship. In fact, many so-called "unpopular" kids create strong and lasting friendships with other unpopular kids.
Steps
Step 1. Understand that not all popular people in school end up being successful adults
Those who reach "the pinnacle of popularity" in high school, or who speak of this period as the best part of their lives, sometimes have a dramatic drop after school (ie, they don't go anywhere).
Step 2. Observe all the popular people around you
Would you really want to be their friend? Do you really like what they do? How do they treat others and how do they make them feel? Would you like to do the things they do all the time to be popular, or would you rather have a deeper and more varied life?
Step 3. Compare them to your sincere friends, who may not be very popular at school, but who would never speak ill of you behind your back
Estimate your friends for the positive and real things they bring to your life.
Step 4. Remember that being popular doesn't mean having good grades, sincere friendships, or people who care about your well-being or needs
Step 5. Understand that by being happy with yourself, your looks and your grades, your compassion and sense of humor will make you a better person and help you feel better about yourself in the future
Step 6. Improve your social interaction skills for the right reasons
Usually, the cause of your "unpopularity" is simply social ineptitude. By improving your social interaction skills you will help other aspects of your life as well.
Step 7. Read Charles Bukowski
This lonely author never suffers from loneliness and his books are the most requested by inmates, who are probably the loneliest people in the world.
Step 8. Understand that being popular is not important at all
Even if popular people go to super parties, chances are there are just a lot of drunk people drinking to escape a sense of loneliness. Remember that you are stronger than them and that you face adversity in a positive way.
Step 9. Strive to enjoy friendships instead of trying to be popular
Popularity is a concept that doesn't really exist. The guys you consider popular only have one group of friends, just like you. Stay loyal to your friends because, to them, you are already popular.
Step 10. Remember that even if you're not the most popular guy, that's okay because maybe he wouldn't do it for you and maybe there's a reason why you don't get along with someone
Sometimes, popular people are hit from behind by hundreds of other people; however, if you hang out with sincere friends, you are less likely to be hit from behind.
Advice
- "Popular" people spend so much time cultivating their social life to the point that they can't finish anything else. Often, these people are so insecure that they feel the need to "be popular" to gain self-confidence.
- Understand the difference between "being popular" and "having a lot of friends". While "being popular" means belonging to a certain circle and behaving in a "compatible" way, "having many friends" means having mutual relationships with people who improve the quality of yours and their lives.
- Often, popular kids have problems at home and therefore want to feel confident trying to be popular! Remember that high school doesn't last forever and that after that there is the real world!
- Identify people who are "less popular" than you and help them become more popular by becoming friends with them. Advise each other on how to improve your social interactions.
