In almost all professional environments, interacting with one's colleagues is inevitable. Unfortunately, you may come across another employee you don't get along with. It is important to know how to live with someone on a professional level, even if your personal relationships are difficult. By learning how to move around the office and how to manage this type of situation from an emotional point of view, you will be able to work side by side even with those you don't like.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Getting Around the Office
Step 1. Try to limit social interactions
It's not always possible to completely avoid a coworker, but you can try to minimize encounters with him. This is probably the easiest way to deal with the situation.
- Some interactions are inevitable, especially if you work in direct contact. However, you can not chat with him in the canteen or during breaks. If you notice your colleague arriving, politely apologize by saying, "Well, I have to get back to work. Nice to see you."
- When interacting with your colleague, keep a professional attitude. Avoid talking about personal matters or matters that are irrelevant to the job you have to do, because if you are dealing with a person you don't get along with, your conversation would certainly not be pleasant.
Step 2. Be nice to the person you don't like
Many psychological studies show that it is very difficult not to like a person who values us. If your colleague gets the impression that you respect and appreciate him, his dislike of you may subside.
- Tell another colleague that you respect and appreciate the person you have a difficult relationship with. This will spread the word. If the message doesn't come directly to you, it will seem more trustworthy.
- Show a sincere interest in your colleague's opinion. People have a tendency to like those who pay attention to them and who involve them. When you get the chance, you should avoid the colleague you have a problem with, but on the rare occasions when you need to interact with him, listen carefully to what he says. This could lead him to like you.
- Even short friendly exchanges can help. A simple "Have a nice day" can go a long way.
Step 3. Separate your professional from private life
If you have a problem with a particular coworker, follow this advice: don't socialize with him outside the office. If you always attend Friday night happy hour, avoid going to the bar and instead meet friends who don't work with you.
Step 4. File a complaint if the situation gets out of hand
Avoid protesting unnecessarily. However, you should step forward if certain behaviors interfere with your ability to do your job. Talk to the human resources department if the problem is particularly serious.
- Your superiors can help you resolve the situation if you are having difficulty doing your job. You should keep a record of your relationships for about a week if you are going to make a formal complaint, so that you have solid evidence to present to the decision maker.
- Focus on your colleague's behaviors that influence the company's performance. He speaks objectively and explains how productivity and morale are damaged by his attitude.
- Remember, this solution should be the last resort. Don't get labeled as the office spy for no good reason. Make a complaint only if your colleague harasses you, attacks you personally, and frequently behaves incorrectly, despite your attempts to remedy the situation.
Part 2 of 3: Addressing the Situation from an Emotional Point of View
Step 1. Maintain a healthy perspective
This is the best way to deal with a colleague who puts you in trouble. Stay focused on your dreams and career goals. Avoid getting carried away by petty misunderstandings.
- When you feel frustrated, consider where you want to go next year or five years from now. How important is this colleague in relation to your long-term goals? How long will you work together? Probably not for long.
- Can you learn anything from your situation? Try to view this experience as a lesson in how to deal with others. If your colleague's hostile behavior makes your job difficult, never behave like he is doing in the future.
Step 2. Detach yourself from the situation
This is easier said than done, but in some cases the best way to deal with a negative experience is to emotionally distance yourself from it. Try to ignore the behavior that is bothering you by avoiding reacting.
During the day it can be useful to adopt some relaxation techniques. You can try to keep your thoughts under control by focusing on the present as much as possible. Become aware of your body, your breathing and what surrounds you. You will avoid getting angry at your colleague's actions by focusing only on the physical plane
Step 3. Find a support group outside the office
Whatever you decide to do, don't speak ill of your colleague in front of other people who work with you. You would look bad and the rumor could get to him, making the situation worse.
From time to time, we all need to let off steam, it's normal. However, avoid doing this in the office. Talk to friends and family, not other colleagues
Part 3 of 3: Analyzing the Situation
Step 1. Consider your colleague's point of view
It is not easy to accept this, but perhaps you have done something to attract his dislike. Try to put yourself in his shoes, so as to assess whether by chance you have behaved incorrectly.
- It is often jealousy that causes dislike. Your colleague may be envious of your success or some of your qualities that he does not possess. There's nothing you can do to get rid of his jealousy, but maybe you've been putting on a bit of air or bragging about your accomplishments lately. In that case, you put fuel on the fire.
- People may mistake shyness for rudeness. If you don't interact with your co-worker often, he may think you are a cold person. With a friendlier attitude, you will improve the situation.
- Do other people in the office appreciate you? If not, your attitude may be hostile. Ask a colleague you have a good relationship with for an honest opinion about your behavior. Try to find out if you are doing something that pushes others away.
Step 2. Think back to previous interactions with your colleague
Think carefully about all relationships you have had. In some cases, it may be just one bad episode that has drawn his dislikes. You may have said or done something that made him hostile towards you.
- It can be a simple gesture, such as not keeping the elevator doors open for him. Or you may have inadvertently said something offensive, such as a comment about his clothing that he misinterpreted.
- If you think you've made a mistake in the past, offer your coworker your sincere apology. If his dislike stems from a simple misunderstanding, you will likely be able to resolve the situation with a short conversation.
Step 3. Assess your stress levels
Think honestly about how upset you feel about the situation. If you are unable to separate your professional life from your private life, it may be worth looking for another job. Keep in mind, however, that you will find difficult people in any field of work. If hostile coworkers have a big impact on your well-being, perhaps you should talk to a psychologist to learn how to manage stress.
