"Oh, love is a tortuous thing, no one is wise enough to discover all that it contains", wrote the poet William Butler Yeats. It can be difficult to tell whether a person is in love with you or not, even if you've been dating for some time. But remember that love can be expressed in many different ways: if you can recognize the characteristics of a long-term commitment and you are also able to pay attention to both the words and actions of your girlfriend, you will be able to understand if she loves you or not..
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Recognizing the Signs of Serious Commitment
Step 1. Be aware of the difference between falling in love and loving someone
Falling in love with someone can also involve complicated feelings, but generally it is a passive and emotional experience. Continuing to love someone, on the other hand, can be incredibly difficult and requires an active and committed approach to the relationship.
- Think of "love" as an action that you need to keep repeating and supporting as the relationship progresses. Evaluate if your girlfriend actively contributes and nurtures your relationship, if your relationship is as good as when you fell in love, if not even better.
- Through her actions and words, your girlfriend may indicate that she wants to strengthen your relationship and engage in the relationship every day, even in ways that may seem small and insignificant.
Step 2. Evaluate how you both handle conflicts in your relationship
Many of the couples with poor conflict resolution skills end up arguing, running away, or avoiding dialogue. Some quarrel and remain angry with each other for a long time, sometimes harboring a grudge or resentment for months on end. Others run away and avoid uncomfortable or difficult problems by burying their heads in the sand. Still others become emotionally blocked and withdrawn, preventing their partner from trying to communicate and discuss the problem.
- Successful couples who want to commit to a serious relationship will try to resolve any problems they encounter. They will focus on resolving the issue, instead of attacking each other or excluding each other.
- In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to forgive and forget, as if any grievances are not discussed and resolved, they could lead to other scenes and conflicts over time, undermining the foundations of the relationship in the long run. relationship.
Step 3. Assess if you have similar life priorities and goals
It's an important aspect of your commitment to your girlfriend, as well as her commitment to you.
Opposites can also attract each other, but they are unlikely to be suitable for a serious relationship. A certain compatibility in tastes and preferences, as well as in values, priorities and life goals, will help build a lasting relationship between you and your girlfriend
Step 4. Find out if you and your girlfriend have the same conception of intimacy
Authors Ronald Adler and Russel Proctor II have identified four dimensions that allow us to feel united with the person we love: a physical dimension, an emotional dimension, an intellectual dimension and a dimension related to shared activities. Complete the following exercise to figure out if you and your girlfriend have all four dimensions in common:
- Write down the four dimensions in a vertical list. At the top of the list shows the names of partner A and partner B.
- Write next to each dimension if, in your opinion, it is "required", "recommended" or "optional".
- Pass the list to your girlfriend and have her evaluate the four dimensions in turn. Or ask her questions and write down her answers.
- The more "obligatory-obligatory" and "obligatory-advisable" combinations between you and your girlfriend, the higher the chances of a long-term intimate relationship. Since no relationship is static, especially a healthy one between two people who love each other, your personal assessments may evolve, becoming even more compatible over time.
- Understanding each other's priorities, especially in these fundamental areas, will help you ensure the long-term success of your relationship and continue to love the other person.
Step 5. Ask friends and family what they think about your girlfriend
If the people closest to you encourage you to leave her and walk away, it may mean she's not the right one for you.
While it's important to trust your instincts and emotions, it's good that your friends and family support your relationship with your girlfriend and think you have good long-term potential
Method 2 of 3: Pay Attention to Your Girlfriend's Words and Actions
Step 1. Listen to her tone of voice when she talks to you
Compare that to what he assumes when he talks to others. If he uses a tender, loving voice when he talks to you, chances are he thinks you are important in his life and cares a lot about you.
Step 2. Notice if he wants to spend most of his time with you and if he calls you often
Investing time in a relationship is an important indicator of serious commitment, especially if your partner is trying to balance other important chores like school, work, and family. If your girlfriend feels serious about you, she will tend to spend the time she has available to be alone with you.
Love induces the release of serotonin in the brain; High levels of this substance are believed to constantly make you think about your partner. The more your partner calls or talks to you, the more he will be thinking about you, which is a (chemical) sign of the love he feels for you
Step 3. Try to notice if she asks you how your day went when you meet
While it may seem like a small gesture, doing so will show you that she is interested in even the smallest details in your life. By being interested, it will also keep communication between you open and will shape your relationship in the name of mutual support.
Step 4. Find out if he respects your opinion and judgment
You may have opposing political views, or different opinions on how to make risotto in the best way. Beyond these differences, however, she should be willing to listen to your point of view and treat your views with respect and interest.
- If your girlfriend really cares about you, she will be available to listen to your opinions and ideas, as well as to discuss in a civilized and respectful way any points you might disagree on.
- She should also feel willing to share with you the decisions she makes, from the more mundane aspects, such as choosing the restaurant to eat for dinner, to the more important questions, such as whether or not to accept a new job at work. Even if she doesn't always follow your advice, she should still be interested in what you have to say and take it into consideration.
Step 5. Try to figure out if he avoids checking you and constantly asking yourself where you are
A partner who really cares about you will give you the benefit of the doubt and won't poke around your cell phone, or check your credit card statement to figure out where or who you've been with, as they are committed to trust. of you one hundred percent.
This type of trust shows genuine interest and is a sign of a long-term commitment
Step 6. Find out if your girlfriend makes you feel good about yourself
A partner who cares about you will boost your self-esteem. It will offer you positive support and make you feel loved.
It does not mean that your relationship will always have to be idyllic, but in general you should feel that being with your girlfriend increases your self-esteem and that she is ready to offer her support, instead of undermining your confidence and pushing you to think negatively.. If you are with a person who makes you feel good, not only will you want to spend more time with them, but you will maintain a more positive perception of yourself even when you are not together
Method 3 of 3: Discuss Your Feelings
Step 1. Find an intimate and private opportunity
A declaration of love, from you or him, could be more difficult to make in a crowded room; prepare a candlelit dinner or take it to a quiet park, where you can have a deep conversation about your feelings.
In this way you will both be at ease, you will be more inclined to speak honestly and openly
Step 2. Be honest and direct
Speaking openly and firmly will give you a better chance of understanding what your girlfriend really feels about you.
Step 3. Don't be afraid to show your emotions
Your girlfriend may need some encouragement to talk to you about her feelings, so don't be shy and don't be afraid to express how you feel.
