How could that happen? You are a middle-aged person and incredibly fit, with your whole life ahead of you and suddenly there is a little boy who, as he grows up, will call you "grandfather". Sure, you'll be a terrific grandfather, but if you want to do things right, then you'll need to learn how to give your grandson lots of love and affection, while knowing your limitations.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Spending Time with Your Granddaughter
Step 1. Give your grandson lots of love
Since you are a grandfather, one of the most important things you can do is pour a lot of love on your grandson. Kiss and hug him, letting him know how much he means to you. Tell him how handsome and smart he is and how much fun you enjoy being with him. Show him that not a day goes by that you don't think about him. Be as loving and caring as possible, because that's the most important thing you can do.
- Be loving. It is important to give hugs, kisses and a lot of love.
- If you are proud to be a grandfather, know that other people will line up to be with your grandson, not just the parents and the rest of the grandparents. Be patient and you will have a chance to give him all your love.
Step 2. Spoil your nephew a little
Of course, grandparents are known to spoil their grandchildren. Even if you don't intend to spoil his diet by just giving him cookies and sweet things, you should indulge a little by breaking the rules just enough to spend time together in a fun and carefree way. Let him know how special he is and give him a little surprise or treat from time to time so he knows how important he is to you.
There is no need to spoil him with expensive gifts that he will forget in a few weeks, but you could give him a precious thought that he will always remember
Step 3. Tell him your family story
As a grandfather, one of your duties is to tell your grandson what life was like when you were little. While he may roll his eyes or act casually at first, it is important to talk to him about what your parents and grandparents were like and what life was like, so that he better understands and appreciates the world he lives in today and that he probably it's very different from where you grew up. While it may not seem like it very much at first, it will be very grateful to you someday.
- Invite him to look at a photo album together, as you tell him life stories about all family members so that he can relive those moments before his eyes.
- A fun activity you can do with your grandson is to do a family tree together.
Step 4. Be present during the milestones of his life
Since you are a grandfather, one of the most important things to do is to be present during the important stages in your grandson's life, which is when he learns to walk and talk, when he starts his first day of school or even when he passes from elementary to middle school. When he looks back on these important moments in his life, he will know that his grandfather was present at every step of his life.
Support and encourage him when needed. He will need you in difficult times
Step 5. Don't make preferences
If you are lucky enough to have more than one grandchild, you need to learn to love them equally, even if your lovely little niece always tells you how much she loves you, while another likes to throw food in your face. If you show your preferences, your grandchildren will point this out and anyone who isn't your favorite may suffer from this. Just like parents, it is important to love all grandchildren equally so that each of them can grow in the light of your love.
Learn to appreciate what makes each nephew different and make each of them behave differently from their siblings, unless they have to take a good example from them
Step 6. Listen to it
Another important way to give your grandchild the affection he deserves is to sit down and really listen to him. Since you are a grandfather, you may be more used to talking than listening, but if you intend to show him that you care, then you will need to make him understand that what he says is important. Have him sit on your lap or in front of you at the table, make eye contact with him and invite him to tell what happened to him during the day, what he is looking forward to doing on the weekend or just what is going on for him. mind. Listening to him seriously will make a big difference.
Put the newspaper away, turn off the TV and avoid other distractions. Give it your full attention
Step 7. Take it outside
Accept the reality. Most kids spend too much time in front of the television, computer, or even cell phone. As a grandfather, also wishing that you are less addicted to technology than your grandson is, it is your job to take him out. You could ask him to help you out in the garden, take a walk around town, or even play ball together. The important thing is to instill in him an interest in the outdoors. He will thank you, even if he may initially complain.
- Make it move. In addition to encouraging your grandson to go out, you should motivate him to stay active, which should go hand in hand with outdoor activities. If you are on the beach, play Frisbee or swim together.
- If you are in the park, play tag or have fun throwing rings or playing another game. Most children don't get a lot of physical activity, so it's important to keep them active and energetic.
Part 2 of 3: Helping Your Grandson Build His Character
Step 1. Don't let them break too many rules
While spoiling him to a certain extent is every grandparent's full right, you shouldn't indulge so much that he completely ignores the rules set by his parents, inevitably causing conflict. Don't overlook bedtime, food restrictions, or time restrictions for watching TV. While it may be pleasant at first to allow him to break the rules, eventually this behavior risks causing confusion in his household. Therefore, you should make your grandson realize that the rules are meant to be followed.
- Instead, help him understand why parental rules are important.
- If you disagree with one of the parents' rules, you can try talking to them (although it's best to avoid giving advice on this topic), but don't tell your grandson that this is a wrong rule.
Step 2. Teach your grandson
Another thing a grandfather can do is tell his grandchildren what life was like when he was little. Show him that the world is constantly and rapidly growing and that he shouldn't take anything for granted. If you are familiar with history, politics, music or whatever, then share your knowledge with him as much as you can. In this way, you will help him become an educated and mature adult.
- Spend time reading the paper with him and answer any questions he might ask you.
- If he's studying a history lesson, see how you can contribute by leveraging your knowledge and experience.
Step 3. Ask him to teach you something
While you probably think that, as a grandfather, you have infinite wisdom to share with your grandson, you shouldn't underestimate what he can do either. He lives in a different world than the one you grew up in and is likely to teach you something, like texting or meeting Justin Beiber. Show him that you too have a lot to learn and that he has a lot to offer you. This way his self-esteem will increase.
Don't hesitate to ask him for a hand. He will be proud to be able to help his grandfather
Step 4. Infuse him with civic sense
Another thing you can do as a grandfather is to teach him the importance of being a good citizen of the world. You could show him how things are recycled, how to behave in a friendly way to neighbors, and in a respectful way towards others. Remember that you are a role model for him, so if you are a good citizen, your grandson will do the same.
- Explain good manners, how to be polite, and how to respect the privacy of others.
- Even the most basic tasks, such as putting the shopping cart back in place or holding the door for those who have to pass, can help them become a good citizen.
Step 5. If Grandma is there, show him how close you are
If you and your wife are helping to raise your grandchild, then you should stick to the same rules and regulations. By doing this, you will be able to maintain consistency in the family and treat any grandchild in the same way, without giving the impression that the best grandfather is the least severe among you. You should also behave towards your wife with affection and kindness and use your relationship as a model of love and dedication that your grandchildren may someday aspire to.
Be affectionate with your wife in front of your grandson and make your relationship a good example of how a relationship is built
Step 6. Don't criticize it
Of course, you can reprimand your grandson when he misbehaves, but avoid being overly critical or he will lose confidence in himself. You should praise him as much as possible and only criticize him if you think you are giving him an important lesson that will serve him in life. He should turn to you for love and advice, not to be discouraged.
If you want to criticize him, hold back. Criticism is only good if it is constructive, not if it hurts him for free
Step 7. Be nice to parents
If you intend to help your grandson be strong and build his character, then you don't have to criticize the parents in front of him. If they owe you money or are giving you too many responsibilities, you need to set these things aside for your grandchild's welfare. If he hears you criticizing his parents, he will think he has the right to do the same and will get into a bad habit.
It goes without saying that when it comes to arguing with parents, you should treat them with kindness and respect and avoid arguing with them in front of your grandchild
Part 3 of 3: Adapting to the New Role
Step 1. Help parents as much as possible
Since you have become a grandfather, you can try to make yourself useful, within your means and limits. Help parents take care of their children by running small errands for them or helping out around the house when possible. You should be there as parents do as they adjust to their new life, and give love, support, and help. When a child arrives, you need to be more available than usual.
If you don't live near your parents, you can plan to visit them and spend some time helping them to bond with your new grandchild
Step 2. Try not to get overwhelmed by new responsibilities
While it is important to help new parents, you shouldn't let your responsibilities as a grandfather take over your life or you risk feeling overwhelmed and not having time to do what you want. You may also not be physically able to help out as much as you wish and feel too proud to say so.
While you will be thrilled to spend time with your new grandchild, you need to be open and honest with parents about what you can do without straining
Step 3. Save your life
While you are certainly anxious and excited to be a grandfather, especially if you are the only grandparent in the family, you need to make sure you keep your life despite the new responsibilities. Keep your usual hours to meet up with friends, make time to cook, fish, go for walks or whatever else you normally enjoy doing, and also to relax by reading a good book. It is important to have a life of your own so that you are not overly absorbed in that of your new grandchild.
- Don't neglect time with friends and your wife and continue to do the same activities you enjoyed before your grandchild was born, whether it's playing tennis, reading the newspaper, or gardening.
- Remember that there will likely be other grandparents who will want to share your responsibilities with you, so don't expect to spend all the time with your grandchild.
Step 4. Do not give advice on education
While you may have a thousand ideas on how to raise children, because you have probably raised ten healthy and happy children, when it comes to giving advice to parents, it's best to keep your mouth shut unless your opinion is asked. Remember that you are the grandfather and not the father and accept that your role in the life of grandchildren is not the same as that of a parent.
If parents ask you for advice, you should give it without criticizing. Consider that things have changed since you raised your children, so take this into account when giving advice
Step 5. Make sure parents have time to be alone
Even if as a grandparent you enjoy spending time with the whole family, it is best to give parents some time to be together without the children. For the well-being of the relationship, it is important to remain alone, even if you miss the children. Make sure they have some time to relax and understand their need to be alone sometimes.
Make sure the parents go out together one night at least once or twice a month. If they insist that they don't need time to be alone away from their children, encourage them to do so
Advice
- Don't be too generous, or you'll run out of cash.
- You can't be perfect. The important thing is to do your best.
- Don't encourage your grandchildren when they start arguing with each other.
Warnings
- Avoid listening to songs that contain bad words in front of your grandson.
- If you set a bad example for your grandson, you will have problems with parents.
- There is no need to swear unless you hit your head against the sideboard, throwing thirty bottles at you.
-
Not smoking!
in front of your nephew, otherwise when he grows up he will follow your example.
