There are many ways to spice up your couple's life in the bedroom. Changing the decor, exploring your fantasies, or maybe buying a new piece of underwear - these are all things that can go a long way in keeping your sex life exciting. In some cases, spicing things up might also include making a commitment to overcome relationship problems with your partner.
Steps
Method 1 of 6: Creating the Right Environment
Step 1. Make your bedroom an oasis
Spend some time and money turning your bedroom into an escape from the outside world. If it looks like a hotel room, it will be easier to escape from the everyday routine and lead to a more satisfying sex life.
- Install soundproof curtains on the windows, put soft and luxurious blankets on the bed.
- If you have pets, make sure they are out of the room during your intimate encounters. If your dog jumps on the bed and decides he wants to be pampered too, it could really turn off all the excitement.
Step 2. Get softer bedding
On average, people with silk sheets have more intimate relationships per week than people with traditional blankets.
Step 3. Add some purple to the room
Studies have shown that those with purple blankets or furniture in their bedroom have more intimate relationships per week than those who don't.
- Other colors that performed well in the study are red, blue, pink, and black.
- The colors to avoid are gray, green and beige.
Step 4. Use pillows to make sex more enjoyable
You can use them in many ways to improve sexual positions. Make sure you have plenty of comfortable pillows on the bed!
Step 5. Raise the temperature (literally)
Couples are more likely to be intimate in a warm room, where being lightly clothed (or naked) is pleasant. That said, if it gets too hot in the room, it becomes more difficult to provide good sexual performance for both of you.
Try to get a temperature between 20 ° C and 21 ° C, according to your preferences
Step 6. Keep the bed clean
Sheets that smell of sweat (and who knows what else) are less sexy than clean ones. Make sure you keep the bed clean and fragrant by washing the sheets regularly.
You could also sprinkle deodorant on your sheets to make them smell good. In this case, be sure not to overdo it; too strong a scent can be annoying
Step 7. Keep the room tidy
Make sure that dirty clothes are in their basket and that there are no other objects in sight to remind you of the housework to do during intimate intercourse. Seeing something to fix can distract and stress you out.
Step 8. Keep sex-related items in a special box
Condoms, toys, costumes, lubricants; put everything you probably use during intimate encounters in a box or drawer dedicated exclusively to that type of object.
This way, during intimacy, you won't be forced to search everywhere for what you need
Step 9. Create a sexy playlist
Music and intimacy are a great match; as one expert claims, they both stimulate the primitive part of our brain.
The recommended tracks have a sexy rhythm that evokes the sinuous movement of the waves, but you can really use anything that gives you that kind of stimulus
Step 10. Light some candles
Candles go way beyond setting the mood - their flattering light enhances your physical appearance. Avoid choosing those with a too intense scent; those may not be suitable.
- To be safe, choose unscented candles;
- If you really want to use scented ones, try one of these flavors: pumpkin, licorice, lavender, cinnamon, or cucumber. Avoid cherries, cranberries, chocolate, and smoky scents.
Step 11. Log out
Instead of being distracted by television, cell phone or tablet when you go to bed, commit to "being together", to pamper yourself and relax. In this way, intimate relationships become more probable.
Resist the urge to check your phone while intimate with someone. One study showed that one in ten people do this. If you fall into that category, eliminate the temptation by leaving the phone in another room, in silent mode
Method 2 of 6: Change How You Do It
Step 1. Experience intimacy against a wall
This is especially sexy if you do it as soon as your partner walks in the door; you can kiss her, then push her against the wall and continue. It will feel like you can't help but have it.
- Don't be offended if he has to leave for a moment to go to the bathroom, put down heavy bags, take off his jacket, etc.
- Standing upright makes intimacy more stimulating, as the blood flows downward.
- Make sure your partner trusts you before trying this approach. If she has been assaulted or assaulted in the past, you should talk to her before doing so, as it may trigger painful memories.
Step 2. Go very slowly
Make a commitment to slow everything down and enjoy each other's company, no matter how excited you are. Take the time to kiss and touch each other, without immediately jumping to the "heavier" things.
- Keep going slowly, even when you get to the hardest things!
- Experts say going slowly can also help solve sexual problems and improve self-esteem.
Step 3. Talk more
Try talking provocatively or at least sighing and panting during intimate intercourse with your partner. Expressing your appreciation verbally will likely excite your partner even more.
It might give you a laugh, but once you get used to it, it can be very inspiring
Step 4. Try a spontaneous quickie
The so-called "quickie" (a very short but passionate intercourse) is a great way to add passion and excitement to your relationship. You can do it anywhere; the idea is that mutual passion cannot wait.
Just make sure you have enough time (don't be late for an important appointment) and that you're in a safe place where you won't get caught
Step 5. Make a red light film
Dim the lights and recover during intimacy. This is a fun and relatively safe way to feel transgressive. Just make sure you don't accidentally post the video on the internet!
If you are afraid of posting the video by accident, turn off Wi-Fi and data on the device you use to film it. Afterward, permanently delete the video, or save it to a USB stick and delete it from there
Step 6. Use toys and accessories
Handcuffs, feathers, scarves, and other sex toys can help spice up your romantic encounters.
- Gently stroking the erogenous zones with a feather can be very stimulating;
- A blindfold helps to empower the other senses.
Step 7. Pay some attention to the neglected areas of your partner's body
During sexual intercourse, don't get to the most obvious areas right away. Kiss the neck, chest, belly, legs; taste the whole body of your partner.
You may want to consider pouring honey, chocolate, or cream onto each other's skin and then licking it
Method 3 of 6: Play Games
Step 1. Use sexy dice
Almost all sex shops sell dice with red light orders printed on them; for example, a roll of the dice could result in "Kissing" and "Neck". This is a fun game to explore each other all over the body.
Step 2. Compete for who will see their fantasy realized
Start by writing a fantasy on a sheet of paper. So, pick a game (e.g. poker, chess, Monopoly or even a video game). The winner gets his or her fantasy as a prize.
- Choose realistic patterns. Make sure you don't hurt the other person's feelings and don't have too expensive dreams.
- Choose the game wisely. A game of Monopoly can take hours; that's not a problem, but only if you don't plan on putting your fantasy into action right after the game, because you may both be tired!
Step 3. Organize a sexy treasure hunt
Hide messages containing codes and riddles for your partner to find. You should take her to a sexy place where you are waiting for her.
Make sure the clues and puzzles aren't too hard to solve, otherwise you will wait a long time and your partner may come to you frustrated and tired instead of being horny
Method 4 of 6: Take advantage of clothing
Step 1. Wear sexy clothes at unusual times
Do your laundry, brush your teeth, make your bed, etc. by wearing sexy underwear. Let your partner see you; he will probably enjoy the show and get excited.
- Doing this even when you are alone can help put you in the mood, because you will be looking forward to your partner coming home and getting aroused seeing you.
- If you usually go half-naked around the house already, you may have to raise the bar even further, for example by buying some particularly sexy new underwear.
Step 2. Put on some costumes
If your partner appreciates humor or loves role-playing, you could pretend to be a butler or firefighter when she gets home.
Step 3. Put on heels
If you are a woman, wearing heels during intimacy with your partner could add that extra touch of sexy and make your legs look even longer and curvy.
However, pay attention to where you put your feet; heels can hurt
Method 5 of 6: Create Wait
Step 1. Send provocative messages to your partner
Choose the words appropriate to your partner's situation and tastes; if she doesn't like talking explicitly about sex, send suggestive messages. If, on the other hand, he has no problems, you can write more stringent sentences.
- Example: "I can't stop thinking about last night.;)"
- Example: "Mmmh this morning you were so sexy on the way out of the house… I can't wait to be home to throw you on the bed!"
Step 2. Watch a red light movie together
Watching a pornographic movie can be a fun way to get aroused. If in doubt, choose the erotic parody of a movie that you both like; if nothing else, you'll end up laughing at how bad it is.
If you are unsure, watching an erotic movie may not be a good choice, as you may feel inferior to the people you see on screen. It should be a fun thing, not an experience that leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth
Step 3. Touch your partner more often
Non-explicitly sexual physical contact can help develop intimacy between you.
- While your partner makes coffee or breakfast, walk behind her, wrap your arms around her hips and kiss her gently on the neck.
- When you are out for dinner or an aperitif, gently stroke her leg, bringing your hand as high as possible without making her uncomfortable. This should let her know that you are thinking about intimacy with her.
- Exchanging massages is another great way to create arousal with physical contact.
Step 4. Do a striptease
This is advice most often followed by women, but men can too. Find a song that puts you in the mood, think of a striptease to go with it, set the mood (candles, curtains, etc.) and stage it for your partner.
- You can do a very simple striptease or a complex one. The important thing is to be yourself and do something that makes you feel good.
- If you are funny and you like to make your partner laugh, do a comedy dance; if you are a slower and more passionate type, integrate those qualities into the striptease.
- If you can't dance, practice taking off your clothes in a provocative way without dancing.
Method 6 of 6: Create a Bond with your Partner
Step 1. Make a commitment to resolve any issues you may have
A boring sex life doesn't necessarily indicate that you have problems, but difficulties in a relationship can cause problems in the bedroom.
- If you think your boring sex life may reflect problems in your relationship, you need to talk to your partner about your concerns.
- It may be helpful to take some time to write down your thoughts in a journal. This helps you to understand more clearly what to say to your partner.
- If one of you has issues with shame, emotional distance, or insecurity during sex, it can be difficult to get aroused. Talking about these things can improve your intimacy.
Step 2. Spend quality time together
Arrange a regular appointment at least once a month and a short pampering session a couple of times a week. Make these commitments and stick to them.
- Activities like these make your partner realize that you value your relationship and make you feel closer.
- The stronger emotional bonds you develop from these activities will also lead to more intense physical relationships.
Step 3. Do new things together
Engaging in new activities together is a great way to get out of the rut and bond with your partner. Experiencing something unusual with her allows you to create shared memories and feel like a team.
The thrill of trying something new can translate into excitement in the bedroom
Step 4. Cook together
This activity is a great way to bond with your partner. You could maybe try aphrodisiac recipes.
The most common aphrodisiacs include oysters, salmon, pine nuts and foods that contain capsaicin
Step 5. Exercise together
Almost all people know the feeling of euphoria that follows training. This phenomenon occurs because exercise stimulates the production of dopamine, the hormone that makes you feel good and stimulates libido.
- Even if you don't start kissing immediately after exercise, working out together improves intimacy and self-esteem.
- If physical activity isn't your thing, think about other things you can do together on a regular basis, like cooking, fishing, playing, or other hobbies that you both enjoy.
Step 6. Laugh together
Watch a comedy show, TV series, or funny movie. Studies have shown that laughing stimulates the cardiovascular system, improving performance in bed.
Laughing together can also help you have fun despite the stresses you face in life. It is important to make time to laugh when you are together, no matter how difficult your life is
Step 7. Make your partner feel wanted
For men, as well as for women, feeling wanted is very important to feeling arousal and comfortable in the bedroom. There are many ways to make your partner feel wanted. Some of them include compliments, physical contacts and provocative messages.
Making nice gestures for your partner outside the room can also make her feel wanted. It may be enough to tell her to relax while you wash the dishes or bring her a cake when you get home to have a positive effect
Step 8. Go to a sex shop together
Agree to buy something, be it a pair of sexy dice, an erotic novel, lube or something more adventurous.
Have fun while you are there; some of the things you will see are absolutely hilarious and there is no harm in laughing. Just try not to make too much noise, otherwise you might disturb other customers
Step 9. Make a commitment to have intimate sex with your partner every day for a month
Explain that you'd like to spice things up a little by setting up a daily intimate date for a month. Setting such a schedule may seem too rigid an idea, but it creates a lot of anticipation.
If your partner accepts, you could talk about it together and maybe organize a calendar of things to do each day. It doesn't need to be too specific; for example, for a day you could write "a quickie" or "use a toy"
Advice
- Develop your self-esteem by learning new activities, taking a course, etc. Take the time to do things that feel like you are improving. This helps you feel secure and valuable, increasing the likelihood of intimate relationships with your partner.
- If you're still not having sex with your partner, the tips in this article are still valid to spice up your couple's life in the bedroom.
- It's important to keep a positive attitude while you and your partner try to spice things up in the bedroom. Some attempts will not work, while others will be successful. The important thing is not to be discouraged and keep trying!
