Going back to living with your parents after being alone, with a job and a private life, can be a difficult transition. It is possible that this leads to a lot of pretensions on their part regarding family economic matters and your role from a financial point of view, as you receive a salary and have to contribute to the running of the house. In the most extreme cases, parents can become quite demanding and try to control the lives of their children living under the same roof, even though they are now adults. This can lead to a very conflicting parent-child relationship. However, you can't deny the fact that they are the most special people in your life. During your teens it was they who supported you, loved you, guided you and taught you. Without them you wouldn't be here reading this article. If you ended up living with your parents for financial reasons or to help them cope with a health problem, rest assured that this is the right thing. If you have a hard time getting along and living under the same roof, read on!
Steps
Part 1 of 5: Respect Your Parents' Space
Step 1. First try to understand one thing:
as much as your parents love you, the house is still theirs. Although you offer a contribution from an economic point of view, the financial situation is very different compared to other types of cohabitation. Yours have certain habits and preferences that they have cultivated since they first formed a family. Think of the saying "First-come-first-first-ever". Above all, be willing to share and immediately compromise on issues that you know are very important to them, help them to safeguard their comfort and their spaces.
Part 2 of 5: Respect Your Parents' Wishes and Choices
Step 1. Always respect your parents' wishes
They are not your children, they are not in a position to please your preferences. If they want to watch a certain TV show that you don't care about, respect them and walk away. Take action, be prepared to have your own space to avoid clashes and hindrances. For example, buy a television, watch movies online, or go to a friend's house to see a show that you just can't give up, but yours doesn't care about.
Step 2. Accept that your choices will be different
From clothing to nutrition, you will make different decisions. This does not mean that your parents are wrong and you are right, or vice versa. Every single person has the right to live their life as they wish. Respect and accept their choices just as you respect and accept yours.
Step 3. Introduce your tastes, preferences and lifestyle discreetly
Never be afraid to be yourself, but always with respect. Once they understand you better and gain more information, they may be able to accept you more easily. Your tastes may also become theirs over time.
Step 4. The fact that you are now an adult does not mean that the golden rule of "obey and respect your parents" (or such a phrase) has vanished into thin air
Of course not. It is a lifelong rule. You have to live with it and try to do it with harmony. Help find a solution to unnecessary disputes.
Part 3 of 5: Keep Quiet
Step 1. Listen to your parents
When it comes to household matters, home improvement decisions and ways of implementing habits, try to respect and react positively to their preferences. Obviously after listening you will have to give an answer, but remember that it is important to listen to them when they speak and to really understand their point of view. You don't necessarily have to add something to what they tell you every time you speak. This helps prevent most conversations from turning into arguments.
Step 2. Don't generate or fuel arguments
If you know they disagree about a certain idea you want to present to them, invite them to consider your view of things and focus on its positives. This is an effective technique when you talk or reunite with your parents: give them priority to express their point of view so that you can get them to adapt more easily to what you want them to actually assimilate. However, the success of this method depends on how your parents are. If they are always dictatorial, you will sometimes find yourself forced to disagree completely with them, while if they understand you you can always talk about the various issues as they arise.
Part 4 of 5: Being an Active House Member
Step 1. Be responsible
Take care of your things. Don't expect your parents to be willing to take care of you, wash, clean and so on, just like when you were little. You are now completely independent and you have to prove it on every single occasion. If you let them help you in some areas, make sure you come to an agreement so that you can help them out with tasks of the same magnitude or that require the same effort.
Step 2. Do something for your parents
Help them often and show that you are responsible. This will allow you to create and maintain a harmonious climate in the house.
Do everything and more to take care of their needs, regardless of your differences. A parent may not say it often, but even the smallest and most insignificant gesture of a child makes him feel loved and fills the void created by the generation gap. Try making her favorite dishes, sticking a sweet note to the refrigerator, or doing a household chore that your mother or father usually does. Never forget to express all your gratitude
Part 5 of 5: Taking Care of Parents
Step 1. If your parents are elderly, keep an eye on their health
It is possible that the mood and behavioral changes of a parent over the years are due to a disease. He may be irritable or angry due to a physiological change or severe pain. Gently ask him questions to find out more about his health, help him make doctor's appointments and do whatever he needs to.
Step 2. Parents are a treasure
One day everyone will go away. Life is one, so live it right. If you are lucky enough to have both parents, remember that they are too special to be taken for granted. One day, when you are the same age, you will realize that life is really short. Live your daily life in a way that forms memories that make you smile when one day you look back and think about your loved ones.
While you can't tolerate their countless maddening habits, remember that they have always been present in your life, and don't think that exactly the same thing hasn't happened to them because of your behaviors. They too had to endure the countless maddening habits you had as a child or teenager, perhaps even as an adult. Having patience is the key to being happy
Step 3. Don't forget your fortunes
Millions of people are homeless because they don't have a family and / or friend they can rely on. When your parents start complaining about something, feel grateful that they've given you shelter, without you having to sleep on the sidewalk.
- If you see your parents as a gift, rather than a nuisance, you will appreciate the fruits of their hard work and unconditional love. Remember that as a child you too will have had your hard times, yet they have always considered you a blessing. Treating them the same way they treated you is the only way to reward their kindness.
- Remember that you are lucky to have parents. Imagine what your life would be like without them. When they leave their spirit will remain, but they will not be physically present and you will not be able to hug them. Don't feel bad about living with your parents. They love you more than you can imagine. If you have a problem, share it with them and come to a compromise, don't make a scene or a tantrum.
- Don't treat them like they're a burden. If you consider them an added responsibility, then you will hardly be able to enjoy coexistence. Try to appreciate their presence, just like a child, on the other hand you certainly liked being with them as a child. Remember that the roles have now reversed. Now they are the ones who have taken on the role of children, so you have to take care of them because you are the adult of the situation. Infuse this relationship with joy. Celebrate birthdays and wedding anniversaries with hugs and cuddles. Spice up their lives.
- Let your children play with their grandparents. If you have children, make sure they spend time with them. In this fast paced world, where both members of a couple have to shoulder the financial burdens of the family, you need to make sure there is someone who can take care of their children at home. Who can guarantee you better care and safety than your parents? Also, if children see that you are taking care of your parents, they are more likely to do the same with you in the future. After all, a gesture is worth a thousand words, right?
Advice
- If they complain about you or harass you, don't be angry, parents care about the good of their children. Respect their spaces. Show your affection, they need it.
- Don't sit on the couch all day playing video games. Be an adult and start looking for a job. Help pay your bills and shop for yourself.
- Don't be bothered by constant questions. Try to understand that they arise from their fears, as they fear for your safety and well-being.
- Respect your parents. They raised you and allow you to continue living with them. Show your appreciation.
- Help around the house. Do your laundry or do the dishes. Clean when dirty. Keep the house tidy. Organize their desk. Vacuum. When you help they will be grateful.
- When they get angry and scream, don't do the same. You would end up saying things you don't really think and hurt them. This will only fuel the disagreements and misunderstandings between you. Let them calm down, over time they will overcome the cause of anger.
- Don't complain about the dishes they cook. Remember this is the same food you enjoyed as a child.
- If they are sarcastic of your opinions or criticize your ideas, don't get angry, depressed, or saddened. Your way of seeing things and your perspective comes from your experiences, and the same goes for them. Respect it, but stand up for your point of view. You can express your opinion without expecting them to accept it.
- Remember: even if you are an adult living with your parents, this does not mean that you have failed. It simply means that you need a little more time to get your life back on track, but that's not a problem at all.
- If living at home makes you deeply uncomfortable, determine the real reason you are staying with your parents. If it's out of necessity (health or financial reasons), then use the tips in this article to make sure the experience is positive. If you haven't left home yet, consider preparing for a move, whether it's in the near or distant future. It is always good to have a goal and a motivation.
Warnings
- In some cases there is a desire to escape due to rather strict and authoritarian parents. Just remember one thing: Before you decide to leave home, be prepared for everything that involves living independently.
- If you went back to live with your parents after graduation, you will need a lot of patience. You are still the child of the situation. However much you have come of age from a legal point of view, they still have a say. These tips may not work for everyone.
