And so you have found the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. How to ask her to become yours forever? You should put your nervousness aside and remember that once you have a plan of action you will be able to propose to your girlfriend without looking awkward. You don't have to do anything too extravagant or excessive, unless you think that's just what she wants. The most important thing is to speak to her from the heart and find the perfect way to let her know how important she is to you. Make sure you do this in a romantic place or in public so that she says yes, but especially remember to ask her parents' permission, otherwise they won't be happy with you.
Steps
Step 1. Make sure it's the right one
You've probably been thinking about it for some time already. The most important thing is to be sure that you love her and that she is really the right person. Make a list of the reasons why you would like to marry her; it could be helpful in organizing the proposal and, moreover, it would be further confirmation that you are making the right decision. When you see your girlfriend, you should have the perception that you absolutely want to share the rest of your life with her and that the time is right to tell her.
- Although there is a saying, "When the time comes, you will realize it", it could be a little confusing. The important thing is to come forward because you really want to, not because you don't want to let her down or because everyone around you is insisting on getting married or because you've been together for a long time and think you have to do something.
- Many people believe that one should live together for at least a few months to know if she is the right person. By sharing a bed and daily expenses, you may see a completely different side to her than you thought. Of course it's not an obligation, but it's a way to make sure you want to make such an important decision.
- It may be helpful to confide in a close friend or relative, as long as they are able to keep your secret. Avoid discussing your plans with too many people, as they may find out indirectly.
Step 2. You must be sure that he will answer yes
While it's impossible to predict her response for sure, you should be fairly aware that your girlfriend loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Make sure he tells you that he wants to get married, that he wants to start a house with you, that he wants children, that he wants you to be part of his family, and so on. If she has never said anything like that, you can always try to bring her into the speech to understand her feelings; if you see that she is uncomfortable or deflecting your questions, then she may not be ready to get married.
- If you've only been together for a few months, make sure she wants to stay with you longer. Although many happily married couples have officially gotten engaged after being together for a few months, spending more time with your girlfriend to make sure both of you think of each other as perfect partners can contribute to her positive response when you ask her to marry her.
- While you may be eager to find out about his feelings for certain if you have any doubts, knowing his intentions first (positive or not) could save you an embarrassing figure at the time of the proposal.
Step 3. If his parents are old-fashioned, you may want to ask his father for the bride's hand
But make sure she doesn't think this is offensive or sexist. This custom has not completely disappeared: in some communities it is considered a gesture of respect both towards the bride and her family and is a way to be accepted willingly. It is also a show of courtesy certainly appreciated by any family. So try to understand what particular his family situation is.
- Are you trying to figure out what is important to you and your family or something that would be quite annoying? Or maybe he is no longer in contact with his family? Take a cue from knowing their preferences and current situation. You should know her pretty well by now.
- A modern twist could be asking your family for permission after making the marriage proposal. This way you would guarantee her to be the first to know, but you would also communicate your desire to share it with her loved ones. You could also share the news together. Some people think it's a completely wrong way to behave, but it's still a sign of respect and, honestly, it's your choice.
- If it is not possible to ask for your girlfriend's hand from her father, you can always ask her mother for it.
Step 4. Decide when to make the proposal
Timing is important. There are no perfect moments for this event, but it is vital that you are calm, organized and ready. Once the marriage proposal has been planned in every detail, it will certainly be the right time. Here are some things to remember:
- Is there a significant date for both of you? An anniversary of your relationship, your first date, or another commemoration?
- Sometimes the opportunity will present itself in terms of practicality, especially if you both live in different cities and meet for a special moment - it would be your only opportunity to ask.
- Consider what time of year they prefer to get married. It may be useful to ask him directly or investigate with the help of family members or acquaintances to find out if, for the wedding, he prefers a certain season or a specific month, in order to plan the wedding without haste. If you want to get married in the fall, try asking her the year before around that time - if you ask her just a few months in advance and she wants to plan a big wedding, she might not like the idea of having to wait more than a year to get married.
- Making a marriage proposal during special events or birthdays has advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, these days make the occasion more meaningful, especially if the family is reunited or it is a time of great joy. On the other hand, the anniversary of your wedding proposal would always coincide with a holiday; wanting to celebrate this date, for some this overlap will seem impersonal, while for others it will be a way to remember it!
- Regardless of the date, make sure you can be alone after the marriage proposal. For example, if you intend to ask her at Christmas with your families nearby, be sure to take her out for a long walk or to a private place so that you can reflect on what just happened, before being pressured by family members and not having. a free minute for yourself.
Step 5. Decide where you will ask her to marry
Place and atmosphere will be remembered forever and the most important thing to understand is that you are the main architect of those feelings! Of course you can ask them anywhere, but it will be more effective if you choose a place that will be important to both of you and where you can feel perfectly comfortable, serene and natural.
- What are your favorite places? Do you love the beach, sunsets, skyscrapers, bridges, city views, nature,…? Or maybe you prefer a more intimate situation at the cinema?
- What is practical? The more you try to create a special occasion, the more mistakes you make. Sometimes it's a lot easier to focus on something you know will work and both of you will appreciate.
- Consider romantic places like the beach, a botanical garden, a famous restaurant with a stunning view, a covered bridge, a picnic, etc.
- Consider the things you love to do together. Perhaps it can be a useful source of inspiration to think about a marriage proposal made while you are out camping, fishing, boating, hiking, cycling, sporting event, traveling and so on. The advantage of taking advantage of the opportunity to be together is that she, involved in your habits, will not in the least suspect that you intend to propose to her.
- Make reservations if needed. If you're going to ask him in a place like a restaurant where you need to book to find the best table, for example, make sure you reserve it well in advance.
Step 6. Decide how you are going to ask her the big question
Once you have decided where and when, you will need to focus on the smallest details. Of course, you have to think about the ring, but what other elements do you want to add to it to make it a particularly memorable and romantic day for her? Remember that the way you express your request will be rephrased by her many times, so you need to make sure it's perfect! The possibilities are many and it is completely up to you to decide what to do. Here are some suggestions:
- Try the traditional position. Kneel down, take her hand in yours and ask her to marry you. The beauty of this gesture is that it is universally known thanks to films and can be reproduced anywhere. Just be careful if there are other people around, because they will eavesdrop - expect their interest and support.
- Try to figure out if he prefers something public or a little more private. Although marriage proposals are made publicly in movies, in real life it is often private. It might seem like a good idea to ask her to marry you at a sporting event or party with some of your friends, but she may be intimidated by all the attention. Plus, if that doesn't work out, you may even feel worse in front of a group of people.
- Think of something that can emphasize the occasion, like a quartet playing a tune or a serenade or fireworks. These additions are unnecessary and could be very expensive without the help of friends but, if they're your thing, they can help create the right mood.
- Hide the ring. There is another popular way to make a marriage proposal that requires your fiancée to find the ring: you will only make the proposal then. Usually the ring is hidden among flowers, in chocolates or inside a special gift. Make sure you ask her in time to open the gift or you could wait years! And make sure you don't hide it where it can accidentally find it.
- Be creative. If you're not that traditional or don't have the insight needed to throw the proposal yourself, you can help yourself with many other ideas that need more planning but will be fun and will confirm that you are the right guy to spend the rest of your life with. life. You could make her a puzzle or personalized crossword where the final question reads: "Will you marry me?".
- You can think of something small and cute that involves the children in your families or even a pet you own together.
- If you have the means and think she appreciates it, you could have a plane write your question to the sky while you are taking a walk.
- Asking her to marry you on a vacation is an equally popular move. If you intend to do so, make sure he will say yes! A first night denial isn't exactly the right way to start a vacation.
- You could use advertising: buy an insert in the newspaper you know she reads, have her favorite DJ announce the marriage proposal on the radio or have a poster with the fateful question placed on the bridge she passes under every day.
Step 7. Look for a ring
If you know what kind of ring your fiancée wants, then it's perfect. But if you don't know or don't want to ask him, then choose a temporary one and get him another one after the proposal; for many women, choosing your own ring is preferable. But if you know exactly which one she wants, then you should try to subtract one she usually wears to determine the size. He'll be moved that you remembered exactly what he wanted - and that you got it the right size too! But, if you have no idea how she wants it, asking her "casually" will let her know what you have in mind.
- You don't have to spend a fortune on an engagement ring, especially if you can't really afford it. It is better to choose something small and elegant while saving for your future together rather than spending all your savings on one piece of jewelry.
- Read the article How to Choose an Engagement Ring for more information.
Step 8. Dress appropriately for the occasion and the chosen seat
Dress well to make sure you look your best. It is a very special occasion and deserves to be "photo proof". She will appreciate all the effort you put into making it all happen. Of course, this only applies if you have planned to make your marriage proposal to her in a posh place and if you have time to change. If, on the other hand, you intend to propose yourself on the beach, during an excursion, while skiing or while jumping with a parachute, use common sense to decide what to wear!
Step 9. Practice
If you are planning on making a marriage proposal, it will help you to get some exercise. Practice asking for her hand and explaining why you love her so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. It will help you avoid getting lost when the time comes. It doesn't mean you have to put too much pressure on yourself. While it's important to make your girlfriend feel more than special, in the end she just has to remember a few words: "Will you marry me?"
Keep it simple, straight to the point, and speak from the heart. For example: "Chiara, I love you more than I can put into words. You are the most intelligent, generous, kind and beautiful woman I have ever had the good fortune to meet and I would be honored to have the opportunity to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?"
Step 10. Make your proposal
There is no better time than the present to initiate the carefully devised plan. Bring it "on the spot" and run the program. Make sure you don't betray yourself by constantly touching the ring in your pocket or saying nonsense. If you are taking her to a place where she has never been before or that is exceptionally romantic, don't waste time and propose to her as soon as possible, otherwise you risk missing out on any possible surprise factor.
- There may be tears, screams or hysterics. Do not worry; these are quite common reactions, even if she already understood your intentions. She'll be in disbelief until you're done!
- If she accepts, end your marriage proposal with a kiss or a hug. And don't forget to put the ring on her finger!
- If he refuses, respond by showing understanding without being petulant. She may need time to think about it, and your overreaction may leave a bad impression on her mind. Be a gentleman and don't get down - you did your best.
Advice
- Evening is a really romantic time for proposition, but you can create an equally romantic atmosphere in the sunlight too.
- "Getting on your knees" is still considered very romantic, even if originally it was the groom's gesture to show his utmost respect for the future bride.
- Talk about the wedding before the proposal. If you really think you can spend the next 50 years with her, you can certainly talk about marriage too. Make sure she is willing to marry you.
- If possible, put up a camera or ask someone to take pictures. It will be great to show the images of that moment to your loved ones.
- Don't worry if she says "No" or "I have to think about it" - marriage is a big step.
- If you have no idea how to behave, ask her family or best friend for advice.
- Originality is always appreciated, but don't overdo it.
- Ask the restaurant if it was possible to organize a toast after the proposal.
- You could hire an event planner who specializes in offering creative and personalized marriage proposals to ease the tension when the time comes.
- Have her choose 3 or 4 rings that she would like as an engagement ring, to be able to trace the perfect one for her.
Warnings
- Avoid the usual clichés like proposing at a dinner or the hidden ring in food. Take her to a place she loves.
- Try not to panic. If you start to gibber or vomit with fear, you will miss the magic moment of romance.
- Avoid tricks that can upset her. For example, don't tell her that she's not a girl to marry or that you need to leave earlier than expected. It would be cruel and she would be ill-disposed towards you at the moment of the proposal. Avoid anything that can ruin the mood of the evening. It must be a "fairytale" moment!
- Act normally before proposing to her. When you go to buy the ring or try to organize the evening, tell her that you are busy for work or with your friends rather than making up unlikely excuses.
- Avoid banal or defeatist comments like "I always knew you wanted to marry me and now I'll be yours for life."
- If you are too agitated to organize everything, hire an event planner who will take care of all the details for you. So, you just have to behave naturally.
