You have finally found the girl of your dreams. How to hold it tight? This guide is meant for all those men who feel lost, insecure and hopeless. If you reflect in this description, read the article to find out what to do.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Making Her Emotionally Happy
Step 1. Become a good listener
Everyone wants to feel heard, but for girls this is especially important. It makes them feel special, and it also shows that your man wants them beyond the sexual sphere. Here are some simple but effective ways to try now to become a better listener:
- Ask her questions about what she tells you. If you can follow the thread, you will have no problem asking her something interesting. Show her that you are listening actively, not passively.
- Don't interrupt it. Stopping a girl from talking makes her think what you have to say is more important than her words, which isn't always the case. Let her finish before you intervene.
- Learn to lift her up in difficult times, but stay close to her even when she's happy. Everyone has moments, or even whole days, that they would like to forget. When she is exhausted, frustrated or out of her mind, stay close to her. Remind her that it will pass and that worries are only passing. This will help her feel better and more likely to do the same for you. On the other hand, pay attention to her even when she wants to share her enthusiasm.
Step 2. Whenever he gives you something, he reciprocates at least in part
You don't have to do it right away, but remember it's important. If she gives you a back rub, massage her feet the next day. If she writes you a romantic letter on vacation, give her a note once she's back. He needs to realize that you are working hard for the good of the relationship. Remember that a relationship should be based on reciprocity, no one should behave like a parasite.
- Don't be a robot: You don't have to return the favor every time he does something for you. It wouldn't be very romantic, and it probably won't make a good impression on her. Try to make it seem spontaneous, even if you have planned it well in advance. It will make her much happier.
- Don't forget to give her something for the sake of it. It doesn't have to be all an exchange. Offer her an ice cream after school or after work, and don't expect anything in return. In the long run, it will earn your karma.
Step 3. Earn their trust
You must be worthy of it. For a boy it may not mean that much, but for a girl it is quite important. In fact, women often tend to steer clear of a man until he proves his reliability. She won't let you become a part of her life if you don't show her that she can be trusted.
- Don't show interest in her friends. Not even one. If you want to be with a girl, you need to reassure her with fair and faithful behavior.
- Always tell her the truth, even if it hurts. Lying and being caught red-handed is much worse than confessing something unpleasant.
- Try to be there for her when she especially needs you. If all of her friends leave her and she is going through a bad time, remind her that you will always be there. Send her a note telling her it's everything to you, give her a bouquet of flowers, list everything she does for others, everything that makes her so special in your eyes.
- Be consistent with your words. This doesn't just mean keeping a big promise every now and then, but also washing the dishes or picking up socks off the floor when you say you will. When you say you will do something, act accordingly.
Step 4. Introduce her to your friends and include her in the group
Let's face it: for obvious reasons, she can never actually become one of them. However, you can make the effort to involve her in the group every now and then. Girls like to feel included, especially with men. This makes her understand that you feel comfortable even in her presence, you don't behave differently when you are with your friends and you are not ashamed to introduce her to the most important people in your life.
Step 5. Share the aspects of yourself that define you best
Open up. Being exposed to others is essential for bonding and has been shown to promote the development of happy relationships.
- Talk to her about hopes, dreams and fears. Just make sure that the depth of these discussions is appropriate for the type of relationship you have. Don't be an open book, but don't be afraid to show her a hint of vulnerability either. Contrary to what one might think, it can be sexy.
- Talk about your favorite songs, movies, books, and memories. These seemingly mundane things play a huge role in deepening an emotional bond. Don't be discouraged if they don't appreciate any of your interests. If she cares about you, she'll be happy to learn more about Metallica, even though she is a fan of Miley Cyrus.
Step 6. Talk directly
Don't be afraid to ask her if there is anything you could do to make her happier or improve the relationship. Sometimes, just be honest. Instead of playing games or trying to figure out what's wrong by groping in the dark, find the courage to ask her what her needs and desires are. If there is something wrong or you could improve, he will tell you. Also try to predict what he would like from you and act accordingly.
Step 7. Every now and then, show her affection with words
Tell her it means a lot to you, remind her what she does well or what you like about her. You can say to her, “Do you remember the first time we met? I had love at first sight as soon as I saw you. At that moment, everything else disappeared, it was as if I had nothing around me. You still have that effect on me”. A compliment or sweet word spoken at the right time can make her heart melt.
Do not overdo it. A nice compliment or an "I love you" said every now and then has great power. However, the more you use them, the more they lose meaning. Remember that diamonds have all this value precisely because they are rare
Step 8. Behave like a gentleman
A gentleman knows how to treat a woman with patience, affection and attention, without making her feel out of place. Unless your girlfriend prefers to be treated in a completely different way for some reason, you can make progress by acting like a man of yesteryear. Here are some simple actions you can try to prove you are a true knight.
- Walk on the outside of the sidewalk and sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. These two gentlemanly gestures make her feel protected. In fact, you position yourself between a potential danger and your woman. In the first case, you protect it from a car, in the second, from an intruder who could enter the house.
- April brings her and help her sit down when you get the chance. The key word, in this case, is "ease". In fact, if on the one hand you have to be a gentleman, on the other hand jumping through hoops to open a door for her long before she approaches can make you look like a doormat. The gestures of a knight must be implemented in the most spontaneous way possible.
Part 2 of 2: Make Her Physically Happy
Step 1. Make your enthusiasm contagious
Everyone loves to surround themselves with optimistic people. The way you behave and carry can affect the happiness your girlfriend feels both when she is with you and when she is alone.
- Show her that you are genuinely happy to see her. If your gut reaction isn't usually to smile, maybe there is something wrong with the relationship. As soon as you see her after a long day, try to hug or kiss her.
- If you've had a bad day, try to forget it. Make a joke, tease yourself that you seem to attract all misfortunes. Then, smile and change the subject.
- Laugh when he makes a joke. Everyone likes to think they're funny. If this girl isn't at all or you don't know how to lie, just smile: a fake laugh would be much worse.
Step 2. Don't treat it as if it were an object
She is not even your maid, your maid or your cook. It is not his job to satisfy all your carnal desires. Don't take actions that could cause her to feel this way. Don't touch her inappropriately and at the wrong times. When you speak, look her in the eye. If he feels like a person, not a robot whose only function is to please you, you will have a much better chance of making him happy.
Step 3. Don't be pushy in bed
Nothing is less sensual than reluctant sex. The truth is, your sex life will be much more intense and fulfilling if you are on the same page.
- If he seems to hesitate, retreat, even though he doesn't tell you anything. Maybe he needs more time to feel comfortable.
- Don't give her the wrong vibrations. If he senses your impatience, he may walk away or, even worse, do something to regret.
- Remember that "no" means "no". Sure, you may have been together for years, but the body is hers and she doesn't have to share it with you at all.
- If he has survived abuse or another type of violence, the situation is completely different. If she hasn't gotten over the trauma, get her to see a therapist.
Step 4. Keep fit and take care of your appearance
If you expect your girlfriend to look like a Victoria's Secret model, what do you think she expects of you? In these cases, two weights and two measures are often used: women must be perfect, while men can safely neglect their personal hygiene and extra pounds. Forget this stereotype.
- Shave every day, unless your girlfriend likes bearded men. If so, trim it regularly and keep it under control, without any unruly hair.
- Buy good quality sportswear. With such an investment, you will feel compelled to train. This way, you will be less likely to carefully avoid the gym after school or on leaving the office.
- Not smelling is better than looking straight out of an Ax ad. Women prefer men who smell discreet but good, so don't bathe in perfume. Use just enough to intrigue her and bring her closer to hear him better.
Step 5. Know when to give her space
Just like men, women also feel repulsed by clingy people. Learn to give her space on a regular basis, even if it means letting her see other guys. Trust your girlfriend and you will see that she will do everything not to undermine the trust you have placed in her.
- Try to have your own spaces. A self-confident and independent person will always have admirers.
- Don't force the relationship to blossom, don't insist. It is unhealthy and will lead her to drift away.
Step 6. Try to make her laugh
The success of this tip depends entirely on your sense of humor. In any case, irony is one of the main characteristics that a woman looks for in a man. Whether you playfully make fun of her cruelty to men or tell her anecdotes about your last vacation, humor is key to a good life, for both boys and girls. Don't forget to make fun of yourself - this will make her laugh too.
Step 7. Learn to argue
Knowing how to stand up in an argument will allow you to make it productive, not destructive. As much as you want to stay away from arguing, arguing is much healthier than hiding dirt under the rug. Remember that it's best to arrange a special date to apologize when you made a mistake.
- When you start discussing something, don't run away by changing the subject. Forcing her to talk about anything else will only provoke resentment.
- If she's really upset, give her some time to calm down, then offer to argue to find a solution. Never forget to come back to the topic later, otherwise you will seem evasive and / or uninterested.
- Admit that you are wrong. Without humility, you will never learn from your mistakes.
- Apologies are not a good way to quickly put an end to an argument. It is a manipulative and unproductive behavior.
Step 8. From time to time, physically show your affection
Physical demonstrations are at least as important as verbal ones, but obviously they are different. While you have to be careful and give your girlfriend all the space she needs, without looking clingy, it is essential to show her that you love her. That's how:
- Approach her while she is from the back, hug her and kiss her on the back of the neck. This soft and sensual kiss will surely please her and remind her that you are capable of affectionate gestures.
- Nothing is more effective than a good foot or back massage to show her your affection. Learn to do them right and you won't need any other ways to apologize!
- Try a six-second kiss. It is a passionate way to make your love last. Couples who kiss regularly for at least six seconds tend to be more enduring than those who don't.
Advice
- Always remember his birthday! If it's a relatively new relationship, you don't need to organize anything blatant. You can, however, give her a bouquet of flowers, even though you don't particularly love them. Also write a note.
- If for one reason or another you don't like a gift, don't react irrationally. Admit it would have been better to find a better one in case other methods don't work.
- During an argument, never blame her for no reason. Try your best not to bring up the past: it will only aggravate and complicate the discussion. Calm your partner and calm down too. Come closer to kiss her. Show her that you want to leave everything behind. But don't force her to do something. If he makes a different decision than what you expected, don't expect him to change it. Make her happy, don't just think about yourself. Finally, remember that arguing is always better than hiding dirt under the carpet.
- Be relaxed and spontaneous. For example, if you make a mistake while trying to say something (like making a joke), don't try to fix it halfway. Have a laugh and change the subject with ease.
