Your dear auntie gave you the ugliest knitted wool sweater in the world; a friend of yours gave you the CD of a band you hate; your kids can't wait for you to tell them how much you liked the new pink tie with green polka dots; the good old neighbor Giuseppe gave you yet another pair of pea green socks… Sooner or later everyone gets an unwelcome gift, but this is not a good reason to offend the sender.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Saying the Right Things
Step 1. Give thanks
Every gift deserves a "thank you", so show gratitude to the one who gives you a gift by looking him in the eye as always when you thank someone.
- You can say: "Thank you! I'm glad".
- You can comment on the kindness and generosity of the gift by exclaiming, "What a generous gift!" or "What a kind thought!".
Step 2. React to the thought of the gift
If you find it difficult to smile to show gratitude towards something you will never use or have never wanted, try to appreciate the thought; It is always possible to offer a few words of thanks considering the thought the other person had for you.
- "Thank you very much! What a beautiful thought!".
- "I'm glad you had a thought for me!".
Step 3. Appreciate the gesture
Think about why someone gave you a gift and thank them for it; even if she didn't pick the right item, she probably had a good reason to offer you a gift.
- "You must have remembered that I love chocolate!".
- "Thanks for the colorful socks; you know I like to keep my feet warm."
- "Thanks for the CD! I love adding new pieces to my collection."
Step 4. Ask questions
Ask the person who gave you the gift questions by asking how they chose it; it's a good way to divert the conversation from topics like whether or not you will use it, how often and so on. Ask her where she bought it, if she got one for herself, and how to best use it, if so. In general, when you react to a gift you don't like, focus the conversation on who gave you the gift rather than yourself.
- "Do you have this CD too? What's your favorite song?".
- "I don't think I've ever seen socks like these: where did you buy them? Do you have a pair like this too?".
- "I've never had a sweater like this. How long did it take you to make it? How long have you been knitting?".
Step 5. Tell a lie if you feel like it
If you have no remorse for telling a little lie so as not to hurt the feelings of well-meaning people, then just say you like it; many people find it kinder to lie and say they liked the gift than to disappoint the person.
- Either way, avoid telling a big lie; Say you liked it, but don't say it's the best gift you've ever received or don't promise you'll use it every day.
- If you don't want to tell a lie, avoid saying you hate him.
- "Thank you, what a nice gift!".
- "It's beautiful, thank you! Where did you find it?".
Step 6. Tell the truth if you are familiar with the person
If the one who gave you the gift is someone you know well, with whom you have a good relationship, tell him the truth if he insists and, maybe, you could laugh about it together.
An item you don't like isn't a big deal, but lying could make it so
Step 7. Avoid the questions
If the person who gave you the gift senses that you don't like it, they may start wondering if you "really" like it or inquire when you will use it; in this case you can tell a small lie or answer yourself with other questions so as not to have to answer his.
- If you can, have him suggest how or when to make full use of the gift and then quickly comment with "I will definitely do it" and change the subject.
- If an object is blatantly inappropriate and detestable, it is acceptable to put aside respect and composure to openly say that you cannot accept it.
Part 2 of 4: Reacting Emotionally
Step 1. React immediately
Thank those who gave you a gift immediately after unwrapping it; if you open it and stop, you will betray disappointment.
Step 2. Maintain eye contact
Look the person in the eye as you thank them! If you don't like the gift, you probably won't have an enthusiastic expression as you look at it, but you can always look the person in the face and appreciate their kindness.
Step 3. Smile if you can
If you are a good actor, give the person who gave you the gift a smile or a cheerful expression, because that way you will remember that they tried to make you happy, which is a gift in itself! Smile only if you can do it relatively naturally.
Do not force a smile as it will be obvious that it is a fake smile
Step 4. Give thanks with a hug
If you are not a good actor, a good way to hide your face and disappointment while showing gratitude is to give a hug: if the level of confidence with the person allows it, hug them after opening the gift.
A hug is an authentic gesture - it's a kind way to show that you appreciate the thought, as well as the object
Step 5. Act naturally
You don't have to pretend to be happy, but instead show appreciation for the kindness of the person who gave you the gift and is trying to make you happy; think to yourself: "He tried to make me happy by giving me this gift."
Smile if you can; if you can't pretend, just say thank you
Part 3 of 4: Taking Care of the Gift
Step 1. Send a thank you card
While it is a good idea to give thanks for gifts received, a thank you card is even more valuable in the case of gifts that you did not like, because it will help eliminate all (or most) the suspicions that the person may have after seeing the your reaction to the object or to itself. Send the card within a week of receiving it and, as in the moment you receive the gift, reaffirm the importance of thinking beyond the object itself; use generic phrases about your relationship to the object, possibly no more than "I'm using it".
- "Thank you so much for coming to spend some time with me. I can't believe you put such a lot of effort into knitting for me. Thanks again."
- "I wanted to thank you for coming to me last night. I'm glad you went out of your way to bring me a gift, happy to have added another piece to my CD collection."
Step 2. Recycle it
If you really want to get rid of it, you can always give it away as a gift; however, be careful not to get caught. Even if you made it clear that you didn't like it from the start, recycling a gift is perceived as gross and crass, so at least make sure the person you pass it to really appreciates it. Your only excuse in such a situation is to honestly insist that you want to give it to someone who really appreciates it; otherwise, donate it to charity.
Step 3. Leave it to time
Usually the nervousness and embarrassment associated with receiving a gift is limited to that moment and, over time, you end up appreciating the intent of the gift and realizing, as it should be, that what mattered. it was just the thought. Therefore, if you haven't been explicit from the start, don't be afraid to reveal your feelings later if you are prompted to do so.
- Say you tried to give the gift a chance, but you didn't like it; show yourself surprised when you say it, just how the other will feel when he hears the news.
- Do your best to minimize the situation, but never give the impression that you regret receiving the gift. A considered gift, although unwelcome, is always better than nothing.
- Ask if he would like me to return it. If it is something the other likes or uses, suggest that he keep it for himself; most people will say no out of politeness and then you'll have to accept it, because insisting is rude.
Part 4 of 4: Avoiding New Unwelcome Gifts
Step 1. Make a wish list
Consider making a wish list depending on the occasion, such as your birthday or the holiday season. It doesn't have to be a list, but you need to know what to aim for; clearly indicate what you want to family and friends who usually give nice gifts; if you just want to avoid an ugly gift, suggest something cheap and readily available.
- "I'm still listening to the last CD you gave me. Anyway, I'm waiting for [artist name]'s next album, it should be out before Christmas."
- "I like the socks you gave me, I always wear them when I'm at home. There are these shoes, though, that appeal to me a lot; I think they sell them from [store name]."
Step 2. Give an example of right gifts
For the chronically gifted wimp, take the initiative by asking him what he would like, without fear of being direct and asking, "What would you like to receive?" If he is reserved or responds by saying, "Anything is fine," insist, because everyone has something in mind and you have to find out, hoping that when the time comes to give you a gift, he will do the same with you.
Step 3. Speak openly
If a person keeps giving you gifts that you don't like, it is good to talk about them before you have to build an unwanted gift room; hopefully you know the person well, so that you can bring them to talk without offending them; otherwise be prepared to see her upset, even if it's not properly justified. For example, after she gives you a gift, talk to her aside and say honestly, "I'm not really sure if this gift is for me."
- "You know I like music, but this really isn't really my thing. I'm more into the [genre of music]."
- "Thank you so much for doing this knitting for me, but I'm not sure it fits with the other garments I'm wearing."
- "I think I have to be honest: I've never found a way to match the socks you gave me with anything I'm wearing. Thank you very much for the gift, but I don't see how to use them."
Warnings
- If the gift giver is someone you are very familiar with or hang out with often, probably the best thing to do is be direct with him / her regarding your taste in gifts.
- If you choose to recycle the gift, give it to someone who has a different circle of friends, who belongs to a different sector of your life or otherwise to someone who is unlikely to come into contact with the person who originally gave you that particular item.
