Can't resist sexual desire towards one or more people? Overcoming lust is a personal choice; it is not something that can be imposed nor a switch that you can simply turn off. You will have to work to distract yourself, to replace and weaken your lustful desires. Here are some tips that may work for you too.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Part One: Dealing with the Root Cause
Step 1. Stop tempting yourself
Learn not to look for things that ignite your desire. This mainly means learning to fight the temptation of pornography, but also avoiding certain films or areas of the city. It is difficult, but lust, like any other bad habit, can be broken. Hold on!
Step 2. Learn to respect yourself and others
If you let lust take over in your relationship with others, then you will never be fully in touch with yourself. You are allowing your physical desires to determine who you are and how you behave, instead of leaving your mind in control. Likewise, you don't respect other people and only see them as a means of satisfying yourself. If you have real feelings towards them you need to fight these impulses and do the right thing for them (and yourself!).
Step 3. Avoid drugs and alcohol
They both remove your inhibitions and make you succubus to lust. If these substances are part of your life, move them away. You can go out with friends at the bar but ask for a glass of water or apple cider (both look like alcohol, so you won't feel embarrassed).
Step 4. Recognize your needs
Many holy books recognize that sexual desire is a normal thing. Accept it, otherwise you will develop an unhealthy mentality and feel the desire even more strongly! Don't repress it but don't satisfy it.
Step 5. Look for alternative philosophies
There are many types of lust and many ways of interpreting it. If your desire causes or could cause physical harm to another person, then yes, you have a problem to manage. Instead, if your sex drive stays within the confines of two consenting adults, then that might be right. Sexual feelings are natural, and if you are only concerned about the religious teachings you have received, perhaps it is time to explore new philosophies. Different sects have different positions on the issue. You you can having sex and being religious.
Method 2 of 4: Part Two: Distract yourself
Step 1. Get ready
If you are not, you will obviously have problems. Recognize that you have a lust problem and then prepare to face temptation. Having a mental plan and being ready is half the battle.
Step 2. Look away
When you go to a place where temptation is strong, get into the habit of not looking. This means that if you see something that triggers your desire, you must immediately find another object for your attention. It is a very simple technique and it helps a lot.
Step 3. Focus on a pastime
Find a hobby that you can focus your attention on and that you enjoy. This is a trick you can use when craving assaults you in your home or when temptation arises not from external causes but within you. Having an activity that you can take with you is very useful because you never know where and when lust hits you.
- You may learn how to make decorative weaving or another similar pastime that you can do anywhere.
- You can also challenge yourself to see how many sacred texts you can memorize.
- Another resource is volunteering. Not only does it distract you, but it helps you work according to God's plan.
Step 4. Pray or recite verses you have memorized
Even so you can get distracted, you can do it out loud or in your mind. It helps you to remember God's love and to follow his laws.
Step 5. Avoid what tempts you
The best way to resist craving is to remove the causes that cause it. For many people, the first temptation is pornography. If you find that you can't focus on the important things in your life and that your porn magazine collection is piling up like an Egyptian pyramid, then it's time to cut it down. Set a filter on your computer to avoid certain images.
Method 3 of 4: Part Three: Finding the Best Ways to Interact with Others
Step 1. Go out as a group
If you can't avoid people who stimulate desire in you, you need to find a healthy way to relate to them. One solution could be to meet them in a group. This will keep you from saying or doing things you shouldn't.
Step 2. Spend time together in safe places
If just being in a group isn't enough for you, you might consider meeting with them in places like a church, temple, or other places of worship. God will protect you and help you stay focused on Him and not your thoughts of lust.
Step 3. Look others in the eye
When looking at other people make sure you focus only on their gaze and not on the other exciting body parts. It is said that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, so think only of the spirit of the people and look them in the eye. In this way you will be more respectful and you will remember how God wants you to treat others.
Step 4. Take part in activities with friends
Do with them only what respectful friends should do and not things that resemble a date. You just have to look at the situation you are in and think about how your grandmother would have liked you to behave. If you think she would approve, then you are on the right track.
Step 5. Don't touch
If physical contact with harmless parts of their body causes you problems and you can't control yourself, don't touch! Limit your thoughts. It will be of great help to you.
Step 6. Make the subject of your desire legitimate
If you really can't handle your behavior with your girlfriend or boyfriend, then it may be time to get married. This is God's intention and why He created husbands and wives so that they can fulfill their desires in a way that pleases God.
- Just remember that you should marry someone who is spiritually, physically and mentally in tune with you, and that you should only marry if you have serious intentions. If you cannot maintain a mature and responsible relationship, you are not ready for a sexual relationship.
- Getting married just for sexual satisfaction should be your last resort. Marriage is a serious matter and should not be approached lightly.
Method 4 of 4: Part Four: Getting Help
Step 1. Recognize that you need help
If you can't solve the problem with marriage and no other trick works, you should accept the fact that you need help. Remember what they say: "Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it."
Step 2. Talk to your spiritual guide
Talk to the parish priest, the rabbi, the imam or anyone who is a reference for your cult. He can give you advice and also help you get back on the right path. It is there for this! Do not be ashamed: he was trained to deal with these problems and he knows it is a difficulty even for the most devoted and faithful people.
Step 3. Isolate yourself
Stay away from all forms of temptation as much as possible. For men, it could mean joining the army. For women, enroll in a girls-only university or school. Your family will understand and support your decision. Being with people of the same sex will help you control your feelings.
Step 4. Remember the problems your lust creates
If you follow your thoughts and realize them, you expose yourself to the punishment you deserve. Sexually transmitted diseases and infections, unwanted pregnancies and other punishments will be waiting for you in case you fail to control yourself. Be careful and be responsible!
Step 5. Ask God for help
He will protect you from these desires, but you have to work hard. He will help you, but you have to keep your eyes open and grasp the solutions he sends you. It can be difficult at times, but with the support of your friends, family, and spiritual guidance, you will succeed in your endeavor.
