Know-it-all, know-it-all, know-it-all, we all know one. At family reunions, at the office or when you're out with friends, know-it-alls are everywhere and they know everything. In some cases it is really unbearable to spend time with such annoying people, even if you try to accept them, tolerate them or even sympathize with them. In the end, avoiding them may be the best solution, but if they are friends, relatives or colleagues of someone you know, you may still get in touch with them. Therefore, you better be prepared to deal with them.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Sympathize with a Knowing Person
Step 1. Try to be understanding
Most know-it-all people behave that way for a reason. Whether it's a personality disorder, a need for excessive admiration or arrogance, they have problems to solve. Try to understand the reasons for their attitude and it will become much easier to sympathize with their condition.
- Try to tolerate their behavior and avoid reacting impulsively, considering that there are always differences between different people.
- Respect is the basis of understanding. It is unreasonable to assume that anyone will immediately conform to your ideas, which you have developed throughout your life, no matter how convinced you are of your point of view. If you want a know-it-all to respect your opinion, you need to do the same with them.
- Only when you can appreciate a know-it-all for what he is will you finally be able to understand his point of view.
Step 2. Think before you answer
Since know-it-all people are annoying, it's easy to respond with anger or worse. As a result, take some time to calm down and ease your anger before thinking about an appropriate response. Usually, reflecting on a situation also allows you to feel more confident when dealing with someone who "knows everything".
- By thinking before you speak, you will be able to formulate a better answer. Most people think about their response when the interlocutor hasn't finished speaking yet and don't listen to everything being said. When responding to a know-it-all, it's best to reply clearly, reasonably, and to the point if you want your opinion to be accepted.
- Stopping and thinking allows you to avoid saying something stupid that can ruin a friendship, start a fight, or create awkward situations. Also, answers like this also don't help solve your problems with know-it-all people.
- A well-reasoned answer also receives more respect. Already it's hard for know-it-all people to accept an opinion other than their own, so they like thoughtful and thoughtful replies more.
Step 3. Set a good example
Don't be afraid to say "I don't know" when talking to a know-it-all, to show them that there is nothing wrong with not having all the answers. Becoming an appropriate role model can lead others not to hide their ignorance, even from know-it-alls. Continue the conversation by asking questions and embracing various ideas to show flexibility and a spirit of inclusion.
- By saying "I don't know" you can build trust, showing openness, vulnerability and honesty.
- Other ways to say "I don't know": "I don't know the answer, but I can't wait to find out", "Let me tell you what I know and what I have yet to learn", "I can't say for sure, though I have an informed opinion about it, which is… ".
Step 4. Make constructive comments
Believe it or not, know-it-all people often don't realize that their behavior has a negative impact on others. If you notice this problem, invite them for coffee or make a private appointment to discuss the matter in a gentle and respectful way.
- Although know-it-alls are often very confident, in some cases they suffer from insecurity. You will need to fuel their ego or compliment their knowledge before informing them of their negative attitude.
- Sweeten the pill by telling them it's important that everyone gets a chance to contribute to the conversation, because this creates a sense of community.
Step 5. Find a solution
All methods to solve the problem must start from the basis of a relationship of trust for them to work. Try to speak assertively and respectfully as you find a solution that changes the attitude of the know-it-all. If the respect is mutual, she will seek a compromise with you.
- Consider the person's perspective by not attributing everything they do to malice, stubbornness, or rudeness. Remember that you don't always have to accept his opinion, but simply acknowledge it.
- Keep an open mind and a positive attitude to help solve problems.
- Be patient and listen to what you are told. If in doubt, ask for clarification or explanations.
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with a Knowing Person
Step 1. Compliment him on the breadth of his knowledge
If you want a know-it-all to listen to you, you need to appeal to his ego. Since they're not good at listening by nature, you need to think about an issue you want advice about. This way you will attract his attention, because you value his opinion.
You can ask: "I'm having trouble waking up early in the morning, what's the best way to start the day in your opinion?"
Step 2. Arm yourself with facts
Be prepared with verified facts when starting a conversation with a know-it-all, so as to limit their negative impact and not give them the opportunity to intervene.
- If you need to give a presentation, distribute a schedule before the meeting with time limits for each stage of the meeting. Add uncontestable statistics and facts.
- Preparation is always the secret of success. The more prepared you are to defend your opinion the easier it becomes to face a know-it-all.
Step 3. Counter the replies of the know-it-all with truisms
If you prefer a more direct approach, you can anticipate your statements with sentences that leave no room for interventions in the conversation. Since truisms are necessarily true, your interlocutor will only be able to offer moderate and not arrogant answers.
- Before you say something, add "If we are open to all possibilities, we can consider the problem from this point of view." Truisms of this kind disarm knowledgeable people, because they force them to rethink what they were about to say.
- Alternatively, after the other person has spoken, you can say "I am very surprised by your answer, because I thought you would have a different point of view". Such a sentence will surprise him, because you question what he said without being too antagonistic.
Step 4. Use reverse psychology
A know-it-all is often a contrarian; when you say "day", she says "night". He can't do without it. This leads her on many occasions to turn against you, ignoring the truth, just for the sake of hearing her own voice.
Force her to agree with your opinion by presenting the opposite idea before your statement: "I know you will disagree; you will probably find it ridiculous, but…". At that point he will have no choice but to agree with you
Step 5. Become a broken record
In some cases, the only way to get a know-it-all to accept your position is to repeat it over and over again. You have to be constant and avoid letting yourself be persuaded by her. Your strategy must be to make it reach the right conclusion by itself through incessant repetition and exhaust it until it gives way.
- For example: "I understand that it is important to you, but I don't want to do it … Really, I don't want to … Yes, of course I know very well how important it is, but I don't want to do it".
- Or: "I think it's too expensive … Sure, it's a good deal, but it's too expensive … I understand that there are financing opportunities, but it's too expensive".
Step 6. Ask follow-up questions
Know-it-all people enjoy playing opposites and voicing their opinions. If their attitude becomes too annoying, ask detailed questions asking for an explanation of their position. This forces them to prepare better before making claims that are not supported by the facts.
Be respectful, but ask specific questions about sources, facts, and experiences. Don't be afraid to confront a know-it-all about their competence or authority in a subject
Method 3 of 3: Bear with a Knowing Person
Step 1. Don't take it personally
Since know-it-all people correct all cases of misinformation by providing the "right" answer, they consequently point out your mistakes. This is a huge blow to your authority and self-esteem. However, they can't contain themselves, because they think they are doing you a favor by giving you the right information or correcting you.
- In these cases, try not to take it personally by taking a couple of deep breaths and pondering your response before making offensive statements that would only put you in a bad light.
- Remember, know-it-alls don't consider others stupid or ignorant; rather, they have not learned the difference between facts and opinions. As a result, keep calm and don't be swayed by their responses.
Step 2. Choose your battles
You don't have to argue with all the reruns of a know-it-all. If you did, you would just end up wasting energy and building up stress.
- Try to go on ignoring her or just saying "Thanks for the tip" instead of getting involved in a pointless conversation that doesn't interest you.
- Ask yourself, "Is the situation so troublesome that it needs to be resolved?" This is the most important question if you are feeling dominated by emotions. By responding, you can return to reality and decide if your response is offensive or appropriate.
Step 3. Maintain a sense of humor
To avoid a confrontation with a know-it-all, use a non-aggressive tone in your conversation. Smile, take a deep breath, and don't use sarcasm even if you are very tempted to do so. Keeping the conversation light and ironic allows you to forget it without any other worries.
- If you are unable to smile or laugh, take a step back. By taking some time to think for yourself, it will become easier to understand that it was foolish to get angry. Try to look at the situation from a different perspective, like that of an outside viewer.
- In a frustrating situation, try to recognize the potential irony of how annoying the conversation is. In this case, take the situation to an extreme that is so ridiculous that it makes you laugh.
- Even a fake smile helps release endorphins, making you feel better and happier. If you are happier, it becomes easier to maintain humor even in difficult times.
Step 4. Try to avoid the know-it-all
If the other methods haven't worked, don't invite her out with you, don't hang out at her favorite clubs, and don't answer her phone calls or emails. While this is cruel for many reasons, it is more important to maintain your sanity and health.
- If you work with such a person, it is not easy to avoid them. You could pretend you don't hear it, smile politely, and don't answer or walk away when you see it coming.
- Change the topic of the conversation to something that doesn't interest her or stop it when she tries to reply. That way she'll know you're not interested in talking to her.
