It is difficult to get along with an overbearing, manipulative and authoritarian mother and you may not always have the patience to wait for her to leave the scene. You can still try to live with her and get along with her even when you are old enough to leave home.
Steps
Step 1. Try to be understanding with your mother
His attitude may be due to the fact that he expects everything to be perfect in his life, including his children. The only way he can make sure is to check everything himself.
Step 2. Find her "soft side" if possible
Many bossy women hide behind a stern managerial mask to feel stronger and be able to stay in control. Even if he doesn't always show it, to bring out his tender side it may be enough for you to agree with his decisions, a hug or a strategic retreat before a heated discussion. The more you can bring out this side of his character, the easier it will be to live with it.
Step 3. Remember that even though an overbearing mother may seem bossy, annoying, and manipulative to you, she acts this way only for your sake
You are her child and it is difficult for her to accept that you are becoming an adult; he wants your life to be perfect in every sense and he also wants to keep you safe. It is harder for her than for other mothers to give you more freedom now that you are growing up.
Step 4. Put yourself in her shoes and keep in mind the fact that she may have had a turbulent past or an unhappy childhood
This may explain why she has become an "overbearing mother", why she doesn't want her children to go through the same problems she has been through.
Step 5. Be patient with her and try to discuss problems instead of getting angry
Sometimes, it is enough to sit down and explain how it feels to the other person to make a difference. Tell her you feel suffocated; other times, however, the best thing is to remain silent when a battle is not worth fighting and you already know that it will pass anyway.
Step 6. Make your voice heard when something is really important to you
Don't act like a rebel and avoid arguing with your mother. Let your mother know that you are putting all your good will into it and that you want to resolve the situation in a friendly way without disrespecting her.
Step 7. Leave the room when you have reached the limit of endurance
Take some time to assess the situation and decide what you might do next. Try to remember the good things he did for you.
Step 8. Don't compare your mother to those of your friends and don't pity yourself for having a mother you think is terrible
Each person and family is different from the others and you don't know the skeletons in the closet they have hidden in their home.
Step 9. Resist the urge to tell your friends how awful it is to live with someone like your mother
They may not understand you as your mother behaves differently around your friends and they may also side with her instead of you. If you feel the need to confide in someone, do it with a friend who you know will not judge you and will not go and tell your story around; or ask your mother to take you to a counselor who can listen to you and help you work on yourself.
Step 10. Try to develop the kindness that is in your heart
Be careful not to build up hatred towards your mother. It's easy to hold on to so much pent-up anger that it can build up to the point that you curse your mother inside you. In extreme cases, when this anger turns into hatred, one can even end up wishing that one's mother never existed.
Step 11. Upon reaching adulthood, set limits and take control of your life
Make it clear to your mother that you will choose your career, the person you want to have by your side and how you will raise your children. Make her understand that you care about her opinion and advice, but you won't always agree on doing things her way.
Step 12. Let his criticisms, insults, and negative judgments slide over you
An overbearing mother will try to keep every aspect of your life in check, criticize your friends, your choices and your lifestyle if you let her. He will also complain about all aspects of your life that he deems out of place, will always complain, and will not appreciate your efforts to change. Try not to feel offended, discouraged or disappointed. That is simply his way of being.
Step 13. Accept that you cannot change her, only try to help her see her flaws so that she can acknowledge them and try to improve
He must be able to understand that change is necessary and possible before he can do it; but it wouldn't be a good idea to try to force her to change or talk about it. Try to be patient; being an example in life in both words and deeds is the best thing you can do.
