So you like two girls and you are probably dating one of them already; you may like both of them or neither of them, but either way they are waiting for you to make a decision. Don't approach the issue lightly and choose one of the girls before losing both of them.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Evaluating the Options
Step 1. Consider your expectations
Ask yourself if you are looking for a serious relationship or something less demanding. Are you looking for a girl to sleep with, a steady girlfriend or your soul mate? Think about your current situation and your plans, as well as the two girls. It is easy for your judgment to be clouded by passion. It may be helpful to take a step back to understand what you really want.
Maybe now you need to focus on your career. You probably need a certain stability or simply a casual relationship that only one of the two girls is able to guarantee you. What do you need?
Step 2. Analyze your relationship with each girl
Think about the characteristics they have in common, and what differentiate them. Consider what each one offers you and imagine how it makes you feel. If you have to make a decision, you have to think carefully about your choices.
- Evaluate which of the two girls you feel more comfortable with and which of the two is more open to dialogue. Try to find the funniest girl and the one who can inspire you to try new things. Maybe you prefer the company of one rather than the other.
- Ask yourself which of the two you can blindly trust. Maybe one is very funny, but you can't imagine a relationship with her. You need to consider whether you would like a more stable relationship or a more electrifying relationship.
- Evaluate if you can communicate better with one or the other. Communication is extremely important in any relationship, so you should choose the girl you can converse with most openly.
Step 3. Ask yourself which of the two girls makes you feel better about yourself
Perhaps one considers you strong and capable, while the other diminishes your worth and cancels your personality. Perhaps one makes you feel free and carefree, while the other stresses you. Watch for changes in your personality as you spend time with each of them. Evaluate the aspects of your character that you do not intend to change.
Step 4. Be honest with yourself
If you can't choose between the two girls, then you shouldn't have a serious relationship with either of them. You don't have to have a serious relationship at all costs, of course, but it's important to understand why you can't choose.
Step 5. Look for alternatives
Maybe neither of you is looking for an exclusive relationship, or maybe one of them isn't even interested in you! This does not mean that you should have two feet in one shoe, it simply means that the situation may be simpler or more unusual than you think. Try to address each girl (individually) to better understand her expectations.
Don't be afraid to think outside the box. There are many ways to make a relationship work. The important thing is to be on the same wavelength and not trample the feelings of others
Part 2 of 3: Make a Decision
Step 1. Make a table divided into two columns
In each of them list all the qualities that come to mind for each girl. If you find qualities that both have, delete them from the list. Review the truly unique qualities and make a note of which ones you prefer. The girl with the most strengths might be the one to choose. It also lists the defects; even the girl with the least number of defects might be the one.
- Qualities might include: excellent company; perfect interlocutor; extraordinary lover; good listener; reliable; intelligent; incredibly beautiful; gets along well with your friends; lives in the same area as you; loves to travel; makes you smile.
- Defects could include: bad temper; different values; not your type; lives far away; little physical attraction; stresses you out.
Step 2. Listen to your heart
Remember that the list is only a tool. Don't base your decision on a number, on the contrary, use that number to fathom your emotions. A girl might look perfect on paper, but that doesn't mean there's a great chemistry between the two of you. If the numbers don't seem right, maybe they aren't. Once you've listed all the strengths and weaknesses, take the time to figure out how much you really like each girl. Let yourself be guided by passion.
Step 3. Give yourself time, but don't delay too long
It is important that you are confident in your decision. However, if you leave the two girls in limbo, you could risk losing them both. Try to make the final decision as soon as possible to clarify the situation. Everything will be easier after you have chosen one of the two (or decided not to choose either of the two) and you have made peace with the one you did not choose.
- Do the right thing at the right time. If you meet these two girls every day, then you need to make a decision right away. Would you be willing to attend both at the same time?
- Remember they are human beings with real feelings. It's not fair to fool them, just because you want to keep all options open - unless, of course, they behave the same way and are aware of the situation. Think about how you would feel in their place.
Step 4. Choose a girl
If both are equally extraordinary, you will never feel like you are making the right choice, but you will still have to choose one. The straight path may be the hardest, but it will also be the most rewarding. Make your choice, tell the girls and make your life easier. Ask yourself which one you would regret giving up.
Talk to your friends and family about it. If you can't make up your mind, you may need help from someone who has seen you with both girls
Part 3 of 3: Communicate Your Decision to the Girls
Step 1. Be direct
This means that you should be honest and clear with both the girl you have chosen and the one you have not chosen. If you are not clear, the situation will get mixed up and it would be as if you never made your choice. Don't leave the situation unfinished. If you want a sincere relationship with a girl, you have to close with the other.
Write down your thoughts, or practice repeating the conversation with a friend. If you don't know exactly what to say, you should prepare in advance
Step 2. Gently release the girl you didn't choose
It's important to talk to her first if you want to make a clean break. You may have made your decision on paper, but it won't become effective until you put it into practice. This is especially important if the girl you have chosen is aware of your history with the one you have not chosen. Your choice of love (or your commitment) will acquire greater value if you can show her that you have broken up permanently with the other girl.
- You may be tempted to first declare your love to the girl you have chosen, so as not to preclude yourself from choosing Girl number 2 in case of a rejection. However, consider whether you would like to settle for your "second choice". It would be preferable to let yourself be carried away by the passion for any other girl.
- Ditching a girl will force you to deal with the feelings you have for both of you. Perhaps at first you will think that the girl you "did not choose" is really the one for you. Maybe you will fall for it again and spend the night with her and this will force you to permanently cut ties. Regardless of the situation, this could prevent you from breaking promises to the other girl.
Step 3. Tell your chosen girl your decision
Once you have resolved the outstanding issues, you will be free to focus on the relationship with the chosen girl. Be simple, honest and clear. Explicitly tell her what you want from her and confess that she is the only woman that really interests you, provided you feel ready to commit to a serious relationship.
Do not rush. If choosing between the two girls was particularly difficult, you should give yourself time to get back on your feet. Don't expect to catapult yourself into an intense and demanding relationship; let the relationship evolve naturally
Step 4. Stand firm in your decision
Stay true to your choice and don't have second thoughts. If you break your promise, neither girl will trust you and word will get out! Don't turn around women, and don't retrace your steps, unless you're absolutely sure it's the right choice. Remember the adage: "Facts matter more than words".
Advice
- Consider your choice carefully and don't make hasty decisions.
- Choose the girl you feel most comfortable with.
- Be ready to live with your decision because if you have chosen a girl, you will probably never have the opportunity to go out with the other. Think carefully.
- Don't choose both girls. You would be trapped.
- If you are not satisfied with the previous advice, choose a girl with whom you have a lot of things in common.
- Drop the other girl without making drama. Face her and explain the situation to her. The worst thing you can do is ignore her or hide your feelings from her.
- If you have already chosen and believe you have made the wrong choice, take a step back and rectify your mistakes. It will take some time, but it will be worth it.
- Not all girls are the same, some let themselves be fooled with stupid tricks, others not.
- When you go to bed, think about the two girls and try to remember their smile. Choose the one you were thinking about before falling asleep. If you can't concentrate, try again.
- You should choose the girl who can make you happy.
- Choose the girl you feel most comfortable with, because you definitely don't want to be with someone who doesn't allow you to be yourself.
Warnings
- Make sure girls don't know you're watching them, otherwise they'll pretend to be different than they really are. You have to understand their "true" qualities.
- Don't think that things can resolve themselves over time. In the meantime, you will have lost both girls.
- You probably wouldn't be able to keep two feet in one shoe. If you make fun of them, you could lose both of them.
- Don't fool them! If you try to date both of them at the same time, you could hurt their feelings and ruin your reputation.
- If you say "I can't bear the idea of losing you", make sure you really think so, otherwise he would think you are joking and burst out laughing.
- It is difficult to deal with the feelings you have for one person when you go out with another. You could destroy the present relationship.
