Choosing can be difficult, especially when you feel very indecisive. Whether you are choosing a partner, career path, or new car, you may be afraid of making the wrong choice. By consciously approaching the decision, you can clear your mind and examine your options. So compare the pros and cons. Your gut can help you determine which decision is best for you.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Approaching Decision Consciously
Step 1. Meditate to clear your head
Sit or lie down comfortably and close your eyes, focusing only on your breath for 10 minutes. Try to free your mind from thoughts about the decision you have to make and focus on relaxing the body, releasing the physical tension.
- Try a guided meditation app, like Relax, or take a mindfulness (literally, "awareness") class in your area if you want to reduce your stress level. Focus on deep breathing in a calm place away from the phone and other possible distractions.
- Sometimes, the scale of a decision can be intimidating. In this case, meditation can help you connect with your true feelings and reduce anxiety about the choice you face.
Step 2. Focus on what's right for you and not what's right for others
Think about it: Did other people's opinions weigh on the decision? Did a friend, professor or manager share their opinion with you? Making a decision to please others and not yourself may in the long run make you miserable, as it will not meet your needs and goals.
- Try to consciously put others' opinions aside as you reflect on your decision.
- For example, if your best friend loves Spanish culture, going to study in Spain and not in France would be almost a foregone conclusion for her. However, this does not mean that it would be the right choice for you too.
Step 3. Accept the uncomfortable feelings that accompany the decision
Don't blame yourself if the decision makes you feel stressed or uncomfortable. Accept your reaction which is completely natural, as you feel at a crossroads that is very significant to you.
Avoid scolding yourself for having to discard either option. Important decisions can be difficult and, in the end, they probably won't help you feel at peace with the choice you made
Step 4. Remember that both choices would probably work well
Think that when you are presented with various good options, making a decision can be difficult. However, look at the situation from a different and more positive perspective to ease the situation a bit - instead of getting stuck, you're lucky to have two great choices.
Part 2 of 3: Compare Options
Step 1. List the pros and cons of each option to bring out your preference
Create a list with two columns for each choice, one for the pros and one for the cons. List the advantages and disadvantages of each option. When you're done, work out which of the two has more advantages than disadvantages.
- Often, just a list of pros and cons can help clarify your feelings. You may find yourself knowingly adding more pros to an option so that you can choose just that.
- Rather than seeing this as a negative, consider this personal bias as exceptional - it helps you understand that you feel more motivated about either choice.
- Try assigning a number that shows how positive or negative each trait is. A really favorable trait could give 5 points to the pro list and a slightly negative one could give 1 point to the cons list. Subtract the total of the cons from the total of the pros. The option with the highest number may be the right one.
Step 2. List the negative consequences of each option to avoid pitfalls
Make a list of the potential negative consequences of choosing each option, both in the short and long term. It's a good way to narrow it down if you feel you really have two great choices and can't afford to go wrong.
- Consider all the opportunities you could miss if you opt for one of the two options.
- For example, if you live in Sicily and are thinking of moving to Rome, enrolling at the University of Palermo may no longer be an option since you will soon be moving far away.
Step 3. Trust your instincts to create a list of "pros and pros"
Create a single list of all the benefits these two choices have for you, then quickly scroll through it and assign each benefit to a single choice. Don't think about it too much; use only instinct. Finally, look at the list to see which choice has been assigned the most benefits.
- The two options can share some advantages. As you perform this exercise, you can decide which choice you think will best help you achieve certain goals.
- For example, let's say you are choosing between two destinations for a vacation. Both may be locations on your "wish list", so write "wish list" in the "pros and pros" list. Scrolling through the list quickly, however, you may find that one destination seems like a must-see experience compared to the other.
- Plus, you can simply remember how you felt when you first faced that decision. If you immediately favored one choice over the other, perhaps it is the right one for you.
Step 4. Use professional resources to objectively compare the two choices
Look for reputable resources for consumer ratings, such as Altroconsumo or Trustpilot, if your decision involves comparing two products. You can directly compare the two options based on their characteristics, safety ratings and overall customer satisfaction.
- These websites are a great way to get a clear idea of a product, as you can prioritize the most important aspects of your decision.
- For example, if you are trying to choose between two infant car seats and safety is your top priority, you can make a reasoned decision based on objective research using this method.
Step 5. Check if you only have to choose one option
Find out if there is a way your two choices can work together by refining your program or running them in sequence. Sometimes, two choices may seem to conflict with each other, but there is actually a way to make them coexist in harmony.
For example, you may feel the need to choose between taking violin or tennis lessons, when in fact your schedule may be able to accommodate both activities on different days of the week
Part 3 of 3: Making a Difficult Choice
Step 1. Consult a trusted friend or family member
Look for someone who is not directly influenced by the decision but who knows you very well. Tell him that you trust his opinion and want to know what he thinks is really in your best interest.
- You might say: "I really struggle to decide whether to choose the job in Florence or the one in Naples. Knowing my personality and my career goals, what do you think would be the best solution for me?".
- It can be helpful to hear someone you love confirm a choice you already had in mind.
Step 2. Flip a coin if you feel stuck
Give each side of a coin one of two choices, then toss it in the air. The face up when it lands indicates the choice you will need to make.
- While it may seem random, if you're really stuck flipping a coin can help you make a difficult decision.
- If you feel faint when the coin stops, it could be an indication that you should choose the other option.
Step 3. If you are offered two good choices, take the one with the least resistance
Simplify your life by choosing the option that best suits your priorities and other aspects of your life. A choice that will force you to rearrange your entire life can ultimately cause more anxiety and stress than anything else.
- For example, even though you may want a dog, moving home to a more dog-friendly apartment can involve a lot of stress and financial sacrifices.
- Consider the worst case scenario of each decision. If you are undecided between buying a car and a motorcycle, you may think that a car in the event of an accident is much safer.
Step 4. Talk to a therapist to deal with the most difficult sensations
Talk to a counselor if you feel paralyzed by the decision. It can help you formulate a decision strategy that makes you feel confident in your choice by helping you move on.
