Have you ever had a hard time using the right terms in relation to the LGBTQ community? If you want to understand them better, learn to tell them apart.
Steps
Step 1. Learn the terms
"Lesbian", "bisexual", "gay", "transgender" and "homosexual" are among the most used, but there are others. In the library you can find books that will help you better understand the various categories
Step 2. To begin, learn more about sexual orientation, which defines the sex or genders for which an individual feels an erotic attraction
It has nothing to do with behavior, dress or presentation.
- Lesbian: A lesbian is a woman who is attracted to people of the same sex. This term encompasses several sub-categories, including butch, a word that refers to masculine lesbian women, and femme, which defines more feminine ones. However, their gender expression tends to be much more nuanced.
- Gay: This term refers to all homosexual people, men or women who are, while the word "lesbian" is strictly used for women. Gay men can be masculine, feminine, or somewhere in between.
- Straight or heterosexual: A male or female person attracted to the opposite sex.
- Asexual: A person who does not feel any kind of erotic attraction, even though he can still fall in love. For example, a pan-romantic asexual may fall in love with people of any sex, while a homoromantic asexual only falls in love with individuals of the same sex. An aromantic asexual does not fall in love.
- Bisexual: A male or female person who likes individuals of their own sex and others. Contrary to what happens with pansexuals, sex usually affects attraction a lot.
- Pansexual: Pansexuals feel attracted to men, women and any other sex (agender and so on). They are also called "omnisexuals".
Step 3. Learn about transgender and intersex people
Transgender people identify with a different sex than the one assigned at birth. They usually understand this in childhood, and then transition into the sex they feel they truly belong to (if the environment permits). They choose their "real name" and "real sex".
- Trans man / transgender man / AFAB man (i.e. he was assigned female sex at birth): a man who was considered a woman at the time of birth.
- Trans woman / transgender woman / AMAB woman (i.e. she was assigned male sex at birth): a woman who was considered a man at birth.
- Transsexual: A person who has undergone a sex change surgery so that their genitals match their identity. This term is rarely used, as some transgender people do not need to have an operation to be comfortable with their body, among other things there are people who consider it offensive. Most transgender people don't use this word at all because it has the word "sexual" in it, which generally refers to sexual orientation, a factor that has nothing to do with their sexuality.
- Intersex: a person whose genitals do not fall into any net category at the time of birth. An intersex person can belong to any sex.
Step 4. Learn about non-binary genres
Some people do not identify themselves as men or women and believe they are better defined by other labels (but there is not necessarily an adequate one).
- Genderqueer: An umbrella term used to refer to people who are not cisexual.
- Non-binary: An umbrella term used to refer to a person who does not identify as either a man or a woman, so could use neutral pronouns.
- Bigender: A person who feels he belongs to both genders, so he can take on masculine or feminine behaviors depending on the situation.
- Genderfluid: a person who alternates between two or more gender expressions; sometimes he feels like a man, sometimes he feels like a woman, sometimes even more, regardless of his or her original sex.
- Neutrois / Neutral / Agender: A person who feels that he does not belong to any sex.
- Androgynous: a person who simultaneously presents characteristics of multiple genders or an intermediate path.
Step 5. In the acronym LGBTQIA there is also the letter Q, which stands for "queer" or "questioning" (which literally means "to question")
- Queer: An umbrella term used to refer to any category falling under the LGBTQIA + acronym.
- Questioning: people of any gender or category who question themselves, without excluding the possibility of belonging to one of the types of sexuality or gender identity defined so far.
Step 6. Learn to be tolerant
Show empathy and understanding towards everyone. Try to understand that there is no single type of couple and that love can manifest itself in various forms. People belonging to the LGBTQ community are your neighbors, family, friends, peers, co-workers and classmates. They are people, not stereotypes, human beings with dreams, feelings and talents, just like you!
Advice
- When in doubt, ask and respect the answer given to you. For example, if you are unsure of a person's gender, you can ask them, "What pronouns should I use with you?", But only if you are good friends. If you're not sure which pronouns to use with a stranger, keep the doubt to yourself.
- Make sure you ask respectful questions and don't get too personal. Think about the questions that would make you uncomfortable. You can make simple ones, like "How's your partner doing?" (on the other hand, you would have no problem if an acquaintance asked you how your partner is doing), while asking a trans man if he had an operation would not be right (in fact any question regarding a person's genitals would be too intimate).
- If there is something you don't understand but think it's rude to ask questions, find out on your own. Books and the internet can explain everything to you in great detail, without having to ask anyone for anything.
- If you accidentally use the wrong pronouns, don't make a big deal out of it. Correct yourself and forget about it. The person concerned will appreciate your courtesy and your discretion.
- Don't use the word "gay" to insult someone - it's offensive, since being gay isn't a fault.
Warnings
- Many in the LGBT + community find the word "transsexual" offensive.
- Pay attention to the terms you use. Some people feel deeply offended by certain words. Always ask targeted questions to understand how to express yourself. For example, what would offend an adult gay person could easily be accepted by a younger one.
- Some members of the LGBT + community use offensive words to provoke or with a playful connotation. This does not give you the right to use them.
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Don't disclose other people's sexual orientation. Contact the person concerned to find out who is aware of their sexual identity and who is not. If you disclose the sexual orientation of a member of the LGBTQIA community, you risk losing the trust they have placed in you, ruining a relationship or even causing a dangerous situation. Never assume anyone knows.
- You can ask, "Who else knows you're a lesbian?" This will show that you respect the other person's privacy.
- Don't introduce someone by saying "My gay friend" or "Marco, who is transgender". If an individual wants to let an acquaintance know, he will tell him personally, otherwise it will appear that you are objectifying his sexuality or gender.
