Is it okay for a bully to dictate the law in the office? A domineering colleague can make your professional life unpleasant or even difficult if he insists on taking care of everything you are responsible for. Take back control by setting stakes and changing your attitude towards that person. Talk to her and let her know how you feel. In case of need, remember that you can always contact your superior.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Respond to Comments
Step 1. Stay calm
It can be frustrating and annoying when someone tries to take your place on an assignment that you are perfectly capable of. If you feel anger rising, try to stay calm - don't say or do anything you might regret or make a fool of at work.
If you need a few minutes to calm down, step back or take a few deep breaths. Think back to the problem when you feel ready
Step 2. Keep the discussion professionally
Don't take your coworker's words or actions personally. His attitude probably has nothing to do with you and is due to his desire to help or feel important. This is not a personal attack on you, so try not to consider it as such.
Remember that this is a business problem with a colleague of yours. This way you will be able to stay in control and not react emotionally
Step 3. Assess the situation
Think about your colleague's behavior and try to understand where it comes from. For example, he may have been in charge of your current assignment before you and may have done it differently. If you're new to a job or in a department, take some time to get to know the people and how they work. Some coworkers are irritable and others want to impress the boss with their ability to work as a team. Whatever the situation, try to understand it better.
- For example, some people don't like changes. Your colleague may be bullying at you because he doesn't like things being done differently than usual.
- It can be helpful to ask other people at work if they too are suffering from the same problem you have. This can let you know if the behavior is specific to you or is simply a behavior of the domineering colleague.
Step 4. Ignore the behavior
In some cases, ignoring your colleague's attitude is the best answer. If he bullies only at certain times, for example when you are dealing with a particular assignment that was previously his responsibility, while he normally leaves you alone, it is probably best not to react and ignore his words when he intervenes. If the impact of his behavior is minimal, don't care.
Ask yourself if you can handle his domineering attitude
Method 2 of 3: Interact with the Colleague
Step 1. Accept his words
In some cases, people just want to be heard. You can accept your colleague's "advice" without getting angry or making a problem out of it. When he talks to you, look him in the eye and listen without interrupting him. Let him speak, then respond so that he understands that you got the message. Without saying anything else (and without arguing), let him know that you understand.
For example you can say "So you would use a different material" or "Ok, thanks for the advice"
Step 2. Reply to your colleague
If a person behaves inappropriately at work, you have the right to say something. Respond in a short, concise sentence in a calm, professional tone. Avoid scenes by behaving politely.
For example, you can say, "I know you would have done this job differently, but it's my project."
Step 3. Explain how you feel
You can point out to your co-worker how their attitude affects you. If you decide to do this, avoid blaming him and only use first-person affirmations. Let him know that he has to stop because his behavior is negatively impacting you.
For example, you can say "It annoys me when you intrude and take care of my assignments", or "I get the feeling you don't think I can do a good job on my own."
Step 4. Set specific limits
Put stakes in your work relationships with consistency and decision. If someone tries to give you orders, always respond in the same way, so that they understand that you can manage well on your own. Stand up for yourself and enforce your needs, so your colleague understands the boundaries they shouldn't cross.
- For example you can say "No, I'm going to do it this way" or "Thanks, but I don't need any help".
- If you want to be particularly clear, you can say, "I understand you want to help, but it's not necessary. Please respect my job and let me do it alone."
Step 5. Lead by example
If a colleague is always giving you advice on how to do your job, behave differently when talking about their assignments. Show him a more appropriate alternative and interact with him as you would like him to do with you. Do the same when talking to other coworkers in the presence of the bully.
For example, you can say "Do you want advice?" or "Do you need help?". You can also say, "I don't want to be pushy. Can I comment on this?"
Method 3 of 3: Making Changes at Work
Step 1. Define your role
Clearly state what your responsibilities are and who else is involved in your work. Set up a meeting with your boss and ask him what he expects of you. Then make it clear to everyone that your job is yours alone. This can help avoid misunderstandings and make roles clear.
- This way you can clear up all misunderstandings with colleagues by saying, "This is part of my responsibilities, not yours."
- Consider also setting up a meeting with your work group and clarifying the responsibilities assigned to the various members. This will help you clarify your role and that of others.
Step 2. Talk in meetings
Ask your boss if you can talk about your job in meetings. You can give a presentation or update your colleagues on the changes you have made. This allows you to inform everyone about what you do. Let others ask you questions and figure out what your assignment is.
When you speak, describe your work confidently. If someone steps in, you can say, "I'll answer questions or comments at the end."
Step 3. Talk to your boss
If you've tried various ways to get rid of your colleague but haven't been successful, try going to a supervisor. Let them understand what happens and, more importantly, how it affects your work. Ask him for advice on how to proceed. If necessary, ask him to intervene.
You can say, "I need help. There is a person who keeps trying to take care of my job and I don't know how to do it. Can you give me some advice?"
Advice
- Your bully colleague may not be aware of your own behavior and may have already practiced it with others before you.
- Consider office policies and company culture before voicing your concerns.
