When deciding to have a dinner reception, there are many things you will need to consider, besides the menu. An important element is where to seat people, because this can be crucial to make the evening pleasant for guests or to make them relate successfully. This article provides some tips to help you in your decision.
Steps
Step 1. Decide on the formality of the evening
Will there be business partners or friends? Relatives coming from outside or close family members? The relationship you have with the people attending the evening will determine the formality. As a general rule, an event with silver cutlery should be reserved for very special or professional occasions; a buffet is much more informal and there is less opportunity to control the seating arrangement.
Step 2. Have people with common interests sit together
This is the starting point that helps the most. Consider the following aspects:
- Do they need to discuss business together?
- Do they have interests or hobbies in common?
- Do they have similar or related professions?
- Are they married or single? (You may be trying to relate them, although someone may be irritated by your attempt if it is too obvious.)
- Do they have a sympathetic relationship or not? Be careful when seating people you know have animosity towards each other, unless there is a moderator you can count on.
Step 3. Pair people together
Be creative when you do this. Sometimes it is customary to mate male / female, but this can stifle the conversation or make some people uncomfortable. If you know someone is shy, try to pair them with a caring extrovert. If you think that two people, who wouldn't normally cross paths, could eventually get on well together, then go for it. Being the hostess gives you the power to test the skills of the people you choose and put together during the evening.
Step 4. Have the guests of honor sit in order
If you have a guest of honor, such as a boss, an elderly relative, a visiting superstar, there are rules of etiquette regarding their seating. A female guest of honor usually sits to the right of the host, while a male guest of honor usually sits to the left of the hostess.
Step 5. Put the place cards
Write each guest's full name in patterned print on small place cards (if you're creative, that's a nice thing; if you're not, find someone else to do it for you). You don't actually need place cards if you don't have more than 6 people for dinner. Under this number it's a little easier to tell your guests what to do. Traditionally, it is not necessary to put placeholders for the hosts, unless you think that the omission will create confusion.
Step 6. Prepare a seating map for dinners with many guests
If your dinner is large enough to include several tables, it is helpful to have a seating map at the entrance to the room. Or, personalize it and worry about telling each guest where their table is. This is always much friendlier than making them queue like they are in the school cafeteria.
Step 7. Be a good hostess
Have fun, but make sure the guests have fun too. Make sure anyone with a disability is accommodated in a comfortable seat; propose to change it or add a pillow etc., if you find that the one assigned is not comfortable. Discreetly let people know where the bathrooms are, or give assistance by indicating them clearly with a not too obvious sign. If a guest seems out of place where he is sitting, work discreetly with his legs and work hard to get him to sit elsewhere as soon as possible; excuse yourself saying something like, "Oops, I wanted to put you there". Don't do this if that makes the situation too obvious or if you really can't find a better seat for him to sit.
Advice
- If guests swap placeholders, ignore it. They certainly have a very good reason in their minds to do it, and your job is to be the hostess who is always smiling and helpful.
- You can buy the place cards or prepare them yourself, according to the time available and the desire. A recent trend is to buy some nice holders for place cards as well, but they are not a necessity and create more clutter in a small house, unless you use them frequently.
- Always put on cloth napkins - they last all evening to clean up food stains, condensation on the glass, drips and more. They are prettier than paper ones and are certainly more respectful of the environment.
- In a formal dinner, you can, for whatever reason, make an exception for the dessert and invite guests to leave the table and enter another room where the desserts are placed on trays, and everyone can choose the one they like. The waiters can bring tea and coffee where the guest is sitting or standing.
- Dare to cut back on formalities. People like the originality of the menus and do not like to stay upright on a rigid chair at the table for the whole evening. Try to make the event relaxing with modern cuisine, softer chairs to sit on or even stop sitting around a table and prepare a formal yet friendly buffet. You can always bring out silver, crystals and porcelain - only guests will have more freedom to move, relax and chat.
- Don't be too tied to the rules of etiquette. Many of these rules were established in the courts of kings and queens and passed down through the rich into subsequent generations. With the emergence of the middle class and with a much more open mentality of the younger generations today, what to do and what not to do creates fewer problems.
- Try seating the hosts and / or guests of honor at opposite ends of the table. With two hosts, it can be a good choice for them to sit at opposite ends of the table to "blend in" with the guests. Alternatively, the guest of honor can be seated at the opposite end from the host - for a female guest of honor, have her sit opposite the hostess, and for a male guest of honor, do so. sit opposite the host. The other host can sit in the middle of the rest of the group or next to the guest of honor. Remember, hosts should try to stay separate, as it is their duty to make sure all guests are comfortable.
- Sitting down with a relaxed etiquette doesn't mean, however, forgetting about table manners. These always matter, because there is nothing more unpleasant than one who drinks loudly, belches, or talks while chewing. The correct use of cutlery is still a rule and is a sign of respect for the effort made by the hosts. Elbows on the table or off the table? While many still prefer their elbows off the table, this has become less binding in recent years - perhaps because many of us have sore arms from overuse of computers.
- Rule number one is that you are the host and it is your duty to ensure the serenity and comfort of the guests throughout the event. This means giving up something for yourself if necessary (like less food), keeping an eye on guests' comfort levels, and providing quick attention to any problems that may arise. The way you seat your guests from the start can help you in the success of the event, so make a little more effort to make this decision.
- If you're using place cards, consider splitting pairs - this can work very effectively if guests don't know each other very well, and can cheerfully encourage spontaneous conversation between semi-strangers. Warning: it doesn't always work, so think about it in advance.
- A menu isn't necessary unless it's a very important event (e.g. wedding, farewell, reunion), but there's nothing that says you can't have one if you want. If you are creative and this is something you would like to do, don't hold back. He can provide guests with a conversation starter, at least; in addition, you can enter special indications you may wish for the evening, such as "thank you", "speech", "moving into the dessert room", etc. - a means to discreetly warn guests about the course of the evening. A word of warning: if you burn or don't have a dish on the menu and delete or replace it, guests need to know!
