Despite being a beloved device around the world, which can be found in any purse, pocket or hand, it is surprising how many people are afraid to talk on the phone. If you are anxious at the thought of making a phone call, you can learn to manage it and be able to have an effective conversation. First, try to understand the causes of your fear, then use practical strategies - such as simulations and deep breathing - to relieve tension while talking on the phone.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Overcoming Your Fears
Step 1. Get to the root of the problem
The only way to overcome the fear of talking on the phone is to try to understand what the cause is. Ask yourself questions: Are you worried about saying something embarrassing? Are you afraid of being rejected?
Take a moment to observe the thoughts running through your mind before making a phone call. Take note of what you say to yourself
Step 2. Test your inner dialogue
Once you understand what the cause of your fear is, try to change it. You can do this by changing your beliefs about talking on the phone. For example, you may be convinced that you are saying something stupid or embarrassing during the phone call.
If this is the case, try to think of all the times you made a phone call without saying anything embarrassing. Then restructure your inner dialogue by telling you, for example: "I have made several phone calls without embarrassing me, so I am able to carry out a satisfying phone conversation."
Step 3. Work with a therapist
Chronic fear of talking on the phone can be an indicator of a more serious problem, such as social phobia. By consulting a therapist specializing in anxiety disorders, you can identify the root problem and develop the ability to overcome it.
Treatment of social phobia includes techniques of cognitive-behavioral therapy (TCC), exposure therapy and development of social skills. These techniques can be useful for identifying anxiety-inducing thought patterns, learning to deal with one's fears, and developing strategies for managing social situations
Method 2 of 3: Manage Phone Calls
Step 1. Decide when you want to make your phone calls
You can distribute them or make them all on the same day, whichever you prefer. Sometimes limiting yourself to one or two calls a day can lower the tension a bit. Determining the best time to make phone calls is just as important - do it when you feel at ease.
For example, if you feel fresher and more confident in the morning or right after your daily exercise session, plan to make your phone calls at that time
Step 2. Set goals for each phone call
Consider the goal of the call and prepare yourself so you can carry it out easily: it will help you relieve anxiety.
- If you need to make a phone call for information, make a list of the questions you intend to ask.
- If you need to tell a friend or colleague something new, write down what you want to tell them.
Step 3. Start with the phone calls that give you the least trouble
Do you feel more comfortable during some phone conversations and less comfortable with others? If that's the case, starting with the ones that don't cause you a lot of anxiety could boost your self-esteem.
For example, if you need to make three phone calls (to a friend, a colleague, and to make a reservation), rank your anxiety level, then start with the lowest one, for example to a friend. Make that call first to get some positive energy, then move on to the next one and finally to the last one
Step 4. Do a simulation before proceeding
Sometimes phone calls are a source of anxiety due to their context. In these situations, doing a simulation with a friend or family member before making the phone call can help relieve anxiety. In this way the other can reassure you and give you their opinion about your performance.
For example, you might have a mock interview with a friend before a telephone job interview. Ask questions that you will answer as if it were a real interview; when you are done, ask the other what their opinions are, so you can improve later
Step 5. Practice a lot
The harder you try to face your fears, the less power they will have over you: you can gradually reduce the fear of talking on the phone by increasing the number of phone calls. Instead of texting a friend, colleague or family member, call them; if you intend to send an email to a professor or your boss, avoid it and make a phone call.
As you continue to practice, you may find that phoning no longer makes you so anxious
Step 6. Pretend
There is a classic strategy to improve self-confidence, which in English is called “Fake it till you make it”: experiment with it during calls. For example, when you don't feel very confident during a phone call, lift your chin, shrug your shoulders, and smile - simulating body language that manifests confidence can eventually lead to really getting it.
Imagine that you are talking to the person in question face to face instead of on the phone
Step 7. Keep moving
Making small movements can be useful for relieving anxiety. When you decide to make a phone call, pick up something, like a stress ball, a fidget spinner, or a handful of marbles. Play with one of these items during the phone call to release excess tension.
Step 8. Look for a supporter
If you're asked to take part in a particularly stressful phone call, see if you can get a friend to join. This person can be silently present on the line to offer moral support, or they can intervene in the phone call as an intermediary, in case you forget what you wanted to say or run out of words.
For example, if you are doing a review with your supervisor, you may want to have a colleague attend as well. If you need to call a distant relative, ask your mother or one of your siblings to talk to them with you
Step 9. Use call control
If you are afraid of talking on the phone, call control can help relieve anxiety. Only answer calls from people on your contact list, or divert the call to voicemail to find out why someone is calling you. This way you can decide how to reply and determine when the conversation in question will take place.
Method 3 of 3: Practice some relaxation techniques
Step 1. Breathe deeply
Deep breathing is a practical way to keep anxiety under control. It's a technique you can practice almost anywhere, even during an active call - just make sure you don't breathe directly into the microphone. Try moving the phone away from your mouth to take a few deep breaths or turn off the microphone to breathe while the other person is talking.
- To breathe deeply, it is necessary to inhale for a few seconds, for example 4, then hold the air for 7 seconds and finally exhale from the mouth for about 8 seconds. Repeat the entire cycle for a few minutes until you begin to feel calmer.
- If you are on an active call, 2-3 cycles of deep breathing can help you recover and reduce anxiety.
Step 2. Review the whole body
When you are agitated, it is normal to hold the tension in the body: by examining it completely you can bring awareness to the areas in tension and relax them. This relaxation exercise can be helpful before or after a stressful phone call.
Start by taking a few deep breaths. Concentrate on the toes of one foot, paying attention to what you feel in that area. Continue to inhale and exhale, imagining that the breaths remove any tension from the fingers. Once the area is completely relaxed, move to the sole of the foot, ankles, calves, and so on until the whole body is relaxed
Step 3. Displays a successful call
Visualization can be a powerful way to relieve anxiety and gain confidence about a stressful activity such as phoning. Start by taking your mind to a relaxing place.
